William K. Wolfrum’s Morning – July 14, 2010
July 14, 2010
The arrival of heavily armed monsters barely caused a stir with most Americans (HT Dvorak).
News/Politics
Small Banks Can Bite It: Seems the bailout of mega-banks has hurt smaller banks. But they can deal with it themselves.
There. Are. No. Jobs.: Why Unemployment Insurance must be extended.
Waiting and Watching: British Petroleum delays a test on it’s latest cap. In other news, oil gushing into Gulf of Mexico.
Shahram Amiri: The Iranian nuclear scientist says he was kidnapped by the U.S. The U.S. says he wasn’t.
Don’t Tell Sarah: But Levi Johnston and Bristol Palin are engaged. Ssshhhh.
Say What You Like: A Federal court tells the FCC to shut the F**k up.
Sports
George Steinbrenner Dies: The Yankees’ owner, one of the most charismatic figures in modern baseball, dies at age 80.
MLB All-Star Game: National League wins exhibition for first time since 1996.
Blogs
Daily Kos: Eek! BLACK PANTHERS!!
Alan Colmes: Steinbrenner’s death a perfect opportunity for Rush Limbaugh to race-bait.
Oliver Willis: Glenn Beck for President!
Balloon Juice: Robert Reich makes economic sense again.
Bible Verse of the Day
There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses. (Ezekial 23:20)
Tweet of the Day
“It must be tough for @PressSec to be on Twitter. Just the phrase “result of Bush economy” takes 22 characters.”
Hoax Alert
Who would say such a thing?
“The best way to get the unemployed back to work is to fine them for every day they’re without work”
Why, it’s none other than a “U.S. Representative” named Jack Kimble, who’s neither an actual Rep. nor person. And his “I’ve been misinterpreted” comments have a distinct Martin Eisenstadt smell to them.
Interesting
President Glenn Beck:
–WKW
Newt Gingrich planning to run for President or commit adultery in 2012
July 13, 2010
WASHINGTON — Former U.S. House Speaker Newt Gingrich said Monday he’s seriously considering seeking the Republican presidential nomination or cheating on his wife in 2012 and will announce his decision early next year.
Gingrich, 67, said he would focus on helping Republican candidates through the midterm elections in November, then decide in February or March whether to seek the GOP nomination or to commit adultery.
“I’ve never been this serious,” Gingrich said. “About either possibility”
The former speaker, who championed a family values agenda, spearheaded efforts to impeach Clinton for perjury over his affair with White House intern Monica Lewinsky. Gingrich later admitted having an extramarital affair of his own in 1998 with a former congressional aide, Callista Bisek. He married Bisek after divorcing his second wife, Marianne.
Gingrich said he was fully prepared to enter the political fray or another woman.
“I’ll have the best team surrounding me if I run, or if I cheat on my wife,” said Gingrich, who famously negotiated divorce proceedings with his first wife while she was in the hospital recovering from cancer. “I’ll be looking for top political operatives and capable wingmen.”
Gingrich said it remained a possibility he’d do both.
“At 67, I don’t know if it’s physically doable,” said Gingrich, who also did not discount a fourth or fifth marriage. “But with the respect I have for both American politics and the sanctity of marriage, I just might try.”
–WKW
William K. Wolfrum’s Morning – July 13, 2010
July 13, 2010
Yes, they survived. See Boing Boing for more on a Holocaust Survivor, his daughter & Grand children dancing at concentration camps and memorials throughout Europe.
News/Politics
British Petroleum’s New Cap: BP announced it had successfully attached a new cap on its oil geyser in the Gulf of Mexico. This may be great news, may be nothing. Hard to tell with this anymore.
Brown Says Yes to Financial Reform: The Tea Party seemed to forget that Scott Brown has a large liberal base to appease if he wants any shot at re-election. So it appears Financial Reform, such that it is, is a go.
McCain’s Fights: New York Magazine takes an in-depth look at John McCain. And let’s be quite honest, psychologists would have a field day with this Maverick.
Mel Gibson – Douche: The man some wanted canonized unleashed insults, racial slurs, threats and admits to domestic assault like a good Christian.
The Chase Continues: The U.S. says they aren’t finished with Roman Polanski.
Sports
Paul the Octopus: Ok, nothing to report here. Just thought you needed to be slowly weaned off the famed cephalopod.
Home-Run Derby: Maybe it’s a surprise that Major League Baseball still holds the home-run derby, but in any case – David Ortiz Wins!
Blogs
The Political Carnival: The clean-up crews for the British Petroleum Oil Disaster are being placed in harm’s way, says a source.
True Slant: It’s a new world. After years of hiding its nuclear program, Israel sees one of its bases pop up on Facebook.
Bad Astronomer: Phil points out some division with “Under God” in the U.S. Pledge of Allegiance.
Think Progress: The Birthers have slowed to a crawl, so a new conspiracy emerges – Obama started the BP Oil Spill.
Gawker: Canadians pick their battles well, as some of them have declared war on Facebook.
Interesting
We Will Survive: As a matter of fact, no, a giant methane bubble won’t kill us all.
Tweet of the Day
“The #TeaParty Legacy – Claim you won the election for Scott Brown, watch him vote with liberal constituency, then lose to Dem.”
–WKW
It’s always the closeted Robosexuals that make all the fuss
July 12, 2010
Futurama tackles an issue on which we all have an opinion – Robosexual marriage. And wouldn’t you know, it’s a closeted robosexual leading the charge against robot/human marriage:
| Futurama | Thursdays 10pm / 9c | |||
| No on Infinity | ||||
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HT Joe.My.God
–WKW
Roman Polanski goes free! Pro-Child Rape Celebrities Win!
July 12, 2010
For nine months, it appeared that director Roman Polanski could face charges for raping a 13-year-old girl. Luckily, with the support of the Hollywood community, that won’t be the case.
From The Guardian:
Roman Polanski, the film director who has been under house arrest in Switzerland for the past nine months, has been declared a free man after officials decided not to extradite him to the United States.
The Swiss justice ministry said it had decided against handing the fugitive director to the US, where he is wanted for sentencing for having sex with a 13-year-old girl 33 years ago.
“The Swiss justice ministry will not extradite Roman Polanski to the United States,” Eveline Widner-Schlumpf, a ministry official said at a press conference in Bern. “The Franco-Polish film-maker will not be extradited to the United States, and the measures of restriction on his liberty have been lifted.”
This is a huge victory for Polanksi and pro-rape celebrities and sends an important message – if you want to rape children, be a famous director and just wait it out.
–WKW
William K. Wolfrum’s Morning – July 12, 2010
July 12, 2010
Spain celebrates it’s first World Cup triumph (AFP)
World Cup
Spain Takes First World Cup: In a game that featured two beautiful teams playing rough-and-tumble soccer, Andre Iniesta hit an overtime goal to give Spain it’s first World Cup title as it beat Netherlands 1-0, and concluded a successful World Cup in South Africa.
Nothing New for Iniesta: The Barcelona man is used to scoring timely goals.
Webb’s World: Yes, Howard Webb clearly missed what should have been a corner for Holland. But in such a tightly played game, only one player was shown a red card and the referee kept the game under control.
Paul the Octopus to Retire & Other Notes: Will Paul the Octopus be able to retire with a perfect record of prediction? Yeah, probably.
News
BP’s Big Cap: Right now, oil is free-flowing into the Gulf of Mexico, but with a better-fitting cap being placed on the geyser, British Petroleum hopes to get its oil disaster better contained.
Uganda Bombing: As the World Cup ends on a high note for South Africa, murderous suicide bombings in Uganda show there’s still plenty of chaos on the continent.
Sports
There’s Just One Diana: In women’s basketball, it’s Diana Taurasi and everyone else.
Tour de France: Lance Armstrong isn’t going to win, so feel free to ignore the rest of the tour if you wish.
Blogs
Oliver Willis: Why Didn’t Obama’s DOJ Go After The New Black Panther Party For Voter Intimidation?
Broadway Carl: Some Must-reads from a master linker.
Osborne Ink: Remember, the rich are just different.
Gary Weiss: How to Lie in Plain Sight, Overstock.com Edition.
Phydeaux Speaks: Ah, the difference a year makes.
Something Interesting
Oh black water, keeps on flowing (HT FreakOutNation)
–WKW
The World Cup just means more to Brazilians
July 11, 2010
While millions will be rooting on Holland or Spain in today’s World Cup Final, let us not forget the pain felt by those eliminated. In Brazil, where soccer is King, Queen and the rest of the royal court, the disappointment of seeing their side knocked out was too much for many. Especially young Salomão:
In case you need a translation: The kid is really upset.
–WKW
William K. Wolfrum’s Morning – July 9, 2010
July 9, 2010
LeBron James may be new to town, but he better learn that Miami belongs to Dexter Morgan.
Headlines
Johannes Mehserle was convicted of involuntary manslaughter – the least possible sentence – after shooting an immobilized and unarmed Oscar Grant on the Oakland Subway system. Here’s how some media organizations described the aftermath:
Fox News: Violent protests erupt after ex-transit officer convicted in train station killing.
CNN: Crowds storm streets after verdict in killing of unarmed black man
MSNBC: Oakland cops arrest scores after verdict protest turns violent
CBS News: Oakland Crowd Upset with Shooting Verdict
AP: Oakland police make 50 arrests, with more expected
L.A. Times: Oakland protesters clash with police after verdict in BART shooting
News/Politics
Transferring the Oil Spill: British Petroleum has a plan for its oil disaster – we’re just not totally positive what it is yet. But at least Oil-soaked judges believe in deep-sea drilling.
DOMA Unconstitutional: At least one part of the Defense of Marriage Act is unconstitutional says a judge. Look for Obama and team to push this all the way to the Supreme Court.
A Steele-y Grip: Republican National Committee Chairman Michael Steele says he’s not going anywhere. The DNC hopes this is the case.
Brazil Soccer Crime: It’s not well known in the U.S., but in Brazil, Bruno – the starting goalkeeper for the defending Brazilian champions Flamengo – appears to have ordered the extremely brutal murder of his former girlfriend.
Newsweek: Should the Birth-Control Pill Be Sold Without a Prescription? The answer’s Yes if you believe in women’s choice and health. The answer is no if you believe God will send us all to hell for even creating such a pill.
Entertainment
Mel Gibson’s Latest Project: So here’s the pitch: A crazed celebrity who has lost touch with reality commits domestic abuse. The cops show up. It all ends in a mug shot.
Free Lindsay: For God’s sake, just let the girl party. Once she actually hurts someone, toss her in the clink.
Sports
LeBron and Gone: Lebron James will play with the Miami Heat next year. You may now continue with your regularly scheduled life. Except for Cleveland owner Dan Gilbert, who is still probably losing it.
Spain Wins World Cup: At least that’s what psychic octopus Paul says.
Blogs
Ramona’s Voice: Listen up: What jobs are you talking about?
Brian Kanowsky: Indiana’s economy under Mitch Daniels.
Down With Tyranny: Miami GOP Chairman Asked to Resign Over Domestic Violence Record.
Stevens
On the Colbert Report, long-time Daily Show fans couldn’t have been happier to see Steve Colbert and Steve Carell bring back “Even Stephen”
| The Colbert Report | Mon – Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c | |||
| Steve Carell | ||||
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–WKW
Sarah Palin announces she’s LeBron James’ pick for Vice-President
July 8, 2010
ALASKA – Moments after releasing a meandering video that seemed to point out that she wanted white women on the streets, Sarah Palin dropped another bombshell – She will be LeBron James’ pick for Vice-President.
“When Mr. James finally signs with the Miami Heat, I’ll be there, as someone who has helped him become who he is today,” said Palin, who was Governor of Alaska until she quit for better paying opportunities. “Much like I understand foreign policy because Russia is near my home, I understand the NBA because I played high school basketball.”
Palin didn’t comment on what being James’ “Vice-President” meant, and when reached for comment, James was apparently confused.
“Wouldn’t she actually be the Vice-King,” said James, laughing. “But seriously I have no idea what you’re talking about, just watch ESPN tonight to see my announcement that I’ll play for the Miami Heat … wait, don’t report that last part.”
Palin, however, said the “deal was done” and that she planned to bring old-fashioned American values to James, Dwayne Wade and Chris Bosh.
“Eagles. They fly. Salmon upstream. And so we swim,” said Palin, who then began speaking Chinese from a prepared text for some reason. “我不认识LeBron詹姆斯。 我的忠诚是给我的中国霸主, you betcha.”
Experts said there could be some truth to the rumors, being that Palin admitted to signing with the Minnesota Vikings last year.
–WKW
Political newbie David Frum finds Palin’s White-only ad “Remarkable”
July 8, 2010
In her effort to make white moms her base, Sarah Palin’s PAC put out a video that showed just how much she loves (white) women.
Highly connected, big shot political media pundit David Frum couldn’t believe his eyes. From Twitter:
“SarahPAC ad. Kind of remarkable to see a Republican ad with not a single nonwhite face in any crowd scene.”
Sure, David, it’s remarkable. No one could have anticipated Sarah Palin would aim for only the white vote. So maybe Frum finds it remarkable, but I find it rather banal and over-planned.
And either Frum is hopelessly naive, or just a liar.
- Sarah Palin: Sarah’s a Fighter – for white people.
- Ron Paul Ad: Mexicans included – as criminals.
- Rand Paul: All white faces – except Obama.
- Ronald Reagan: It’s morning in America again – for white folks.
- Mitt Romney: John McCain the wrong choice – for white people.
–WKW
William K. Wolfrum’s Morning – July 8, 2010
July 8, 2010
Only one thing can stop Paul the Psychic Octopus’ reign of terror – yes, I speak of Mega-Shark.
News/Politics
Mama Grizzlies: Sarah Palin touts a “Mom Awakening.” In other news, we’re all going to die. Painfully. And deserve it.
Let the Courts Decide: Millions of gallons of oil free-spilling into the Gulf of Mexico, threatening, perhaps, the entire planet. And we have to go to court to stop deep-sea drilling. See above note for predictions of horrible death.
More Death in Iraq: Seems like it’s pretty tough to run two (or more) concurrent wars.
Sports
LeBron James!: Will play basketball again soon. Somewhere. Of this you can be certain. But in other news.
Spain topples Germany: Spain just plain outplayed Germany to earn the 1-0 victory and move on to the World Cup Finals. A Carles Puyol header did the trick for the Spaniards who move to their first final. With neither team having won a World Cup title, and starts littering the pitch, the finale between Holland and Spain on Sunday has lots of promise.
NBA Socialism: The super-economically healthy NBA set its team salary cap at $58 million. Sounds like socialism to me.
Entertainment
OMG!: Megan Fox & Brian Austin Green’s Wedding Photo Revealed! (Always try to get something for everyone is my motto)
Blogs
Doctor Cleveland: How to lose a counterinsurgency, Part II.
Gawker: It’s official, Paul the Octopus is psychic.
Nukes of Hazard: Kingtson unloads on Romeny’s ignorance of nukes. A quote:
“Romney’s screed is political posturing at its worst, almost certainly designed to get a leg up in the early stages of the race to the bottom that is the battle for the Republican nomination for President in 2012. Much like Inhofe and DeMint’s ranting, Romney’s raving would actually be funny if it weren’t for the fact that our national security is at stake.”
Tweet of the Day
“(Bill) O’Reilly has a body language expert on and reminds me that I am now a “Licensed Tweet Language Expert.” Just $1 a character.
Something interesting
–WKW
LeBron James to take a shower tonight at 8:30 p.m. – ESPN Reports
July 7, 2010
CLEVELAND – Basketball star LeBron James will reportedly be taking a shower at around 8:30 p.m. EST tonight. James – who averaged nearly 30 points and nine assists per game in 2009-2010 – will very likely use soap, shampoo and possibly conditioner, said an anonymous ESPN source.
“LeBron normally takes just one shower a day when not playing basketball,” said the ESPN source. “This second shower is important, and we’ll be outside the bathroom reporting it all night long.
Later in the evening, ESPN promises to go to all-night “LeBron Sleeping” coverage, as viewers will be able to watch James sleep and decide if he’s dreaming about playing for the Cleveland Cavaliers, Chicago Bulls, Miami Heat or New York Knicks.
“This is sports journalism at its highest level,” said the ESPN source. “About the only thing that can ruin this is if Tiger Woods has an orgy. And we have people on that.”
–WKW
Sea Turtles: Crazed Death Machines That Should Be Burned
July 7, 2010
If a Sea Turtle could, it would murder you with its bare hands. And liberal environmentalists would like nothing more than to allow this ancient species to gain the power they’ve always slowly plotted.
Sea Turtles are often portrayed as wise, harmless keepers of the deep. But such a description couldn’t be further from the truth. The fact is this – Sea Turtles are monstrous man-eaters that make Great White Sharks look like otters.
It is with this view of protecting the human race from the scourge of Sea Turtles gone mad with blood lust that British Petroleum has taken the bold and courageous stance to burn these Sea Turtles alive.. Did you know that 95 percent of the nutrition a Sea Turtle gets is via human blood? Well now you do.
Little Timmy Johnson of Tupelo, Miss., was one of those people who had been misinformed about Sea Turtles. Just 7, Johnson was playing with a Sea Turtle when he disappeared. After hours of searching, little Timmy was found – with a really surprised look on his face – inside the stomach of the Sea Turtle.
British Petroleum wants to see no more Timmy Johnsons lose their lives to these evil creatures. This is why all Americans must stand behind BP and against anarchist environmentalists. They are trying to SAVE these monsters of the deep.
Political correctness has always sided with the sea turtle, so this is your chance to let the facts do the talking and help BP burn Sea Turtle’s and their eggs. Don’t let the murderous environmentalists win. They are already crowing about their latest victory. But will they crow when an angry Sea Turtle rips them limb from limb?
Let BP save the world from this menace. Let them burn Sea Turtles alive. For America.
–WKW
This post written due to a generous grant from British Petroleum.
William K. Wolfrum’s Morning – July 7, 2010
July 7, 2010
Levi Johnston learned where the real money is and has started to play nice with Sarah Palin.
Politics/News
Levi Comes Crawling Back: For a while, Levi and his penis were the only truly interesting thing in the Palin family. Now he’s taking it all back to get in good with the new Palin Regime of Wasilla.
Just Like in the U.S.: British politicians have a deficit, so where do they look? The health system, of course.
The U.S. to Sue Arizona: The Department of Justice has decided to file a lawsuit against Arizona for its new immigration law. The reasoning? It’s unconstitutional and immoral. Or words to that effect.
Sports:
Holland Rises: While Uruguay boasted heart and self-confidence, Holland had the goods, as they showed to much talent and creativity in toppling Uruguay 3-2 to reach the World Cup Final.
Germany vs. Spain: Spain was supposed to be here, Germany wasn’t. But later today, one of them will earn their spot to play Holland in the World Cup Final. Spain has the skills, but Germany has the team – Prediction: German in penalty shootout.
Also: Cristiano Ronaldo is a Dad, Cris Bosh is a Miami Heat,, Vinny Del Negro signs his life away by becoming the new coach of the Los Angeles Clippers.
Blogs
Jesus’ General: If you’ve played in the NFL, then you have every right to pursue extremely crazy theories to prove that everyone else is wrong.
Balloon Juice: Hawaii had the votes necessary to pass a Civil Unions bill, but Mayor Linda Lingle vetoed it. And despite having the votes to override her veto, the Hawaiian congress just decided to say the hell with it.
Rude Pundit: Five Complete Batshit Insane Things From a Single Sarah Palin Facebook Post.
Incertus: This is what demonizing a population gets you.
Headlines
CNN: Gambling scandal rocks sumo world.
Fox News: Thousands of Abandoned Wells in Gulf Could Be Leaking
MSNBC: Gulf of Mexico awash in 27,000 abandoned wells.
ABC News: Rent-a-Car Companies Putting Recalled Autos on the Road.
CBS News: 27,000 Abandoned Gulf Oil Wells May Be Leaking
BBC: Sarkozy ‘campaign donation’ probe opened.
Odd News
Google Maps: We’ve found Wayne & Garth.
Stephen Colbert: New meme everyone – Beer Cat!
| The Colbert Report | Mon – Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c | |||
| Electronic Frontier Foundation – Cindy Cohn | ||||
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–WKW
Nike, Obama order Media away from LeBron James
July 6, 2010
CLEVELAND – Citing potential “National Security Issues,” President Barack Obama today ordered all media to stay 2,000 feet away from basketball superstar LeBron James, while he makes his decision whom to play for in 2010-11.
“This decision requires time and peace,” said Obama. “Also, should he choose the Chicago Bulls, he has himself a solid.”
Nike has long held that James was too important of a mythical figure to be photographed in reality-based imagery.
“This is perfect,” said a Nike spokesperson, adding that any reporter that defies the new law will be arrested and perhaps beaten within the rules of the Geneva Convention as we now see them. “Now you’ll see LeBron the way we choose for you to see him. Plus, the national security issues.”
“Where LeBron James plays basketball matters to each and every American and will help reshape the American landscape,” added Obama. “The last thing we need now is a bunch of reporters snooping around trying to understand the process.”
James could not be reached for comment as he was quite far away.
–WKW
