William K. Wolfrum’s Morning – Dance, Tucker! Dance!

August 31, 2010 by  

Tucker Carlson
Tucker Carlson’s greatest journalistic achievement.

News/Politics

La Barbie Caught: One of Mexico’s most notorious drug lords has been caught! Also, applications now being accepted for Notorious Mexican Drug Lord. Apply at the FBI.

Hurricane Earl: It’s coming. And it looks pissed.

Scotland Takes the Lead: Now that Scotland has come up with a wind turbine that can supply energy to 1,000 homes, maybe someone else will step up.

Afghanistan Update: Death!

An Independent Iraq: Iraq has announced it is now independent. This means all hell should break loose any minute.

ObamaCare Already Paying Off: Paying off or scammers, at least. It was nice of the media to help everyone get informed on the subject, eh?

Investigating America: Remember when Republicans spent two solid years wasting time and money on investigating every last move Clinton made? And then the U.S. was attacked by al Qaeda and they blame Clinton for being investigated so much? Yeah, we’re going to try that again.

Random Thought

Being as the rest of the U.S. mainstream media refuses to call out Fox News for their false reporting and demagoguery, from here on out, I say we just lump them all in together. Example: Led by Glenn Beck, the Mainstream Media recently held a big rally about Jesus.

Entertainment

Dance, I Say!: The new stars for Dancing with the Stars have been announced. They include: Bristol Palin, Grover from Sesame Street, Mandrake the Magician, Jean Harlow, Erik Estrada, Emo Phillips, Lindsay Lohan and veteran porn star Christy Canyon. Oh, ok, for the real stars click here.

Paris Chews GREAT Gum: Paris Hilton was busted for cocaine possession. Her excuse – she thought it was gum. Cocaine-gum, just another thing that makes the rich better than you.

Palin-Land Defined

In a perfect world, Sarah Palin would be Queen and surrounded by a bunch of gun-toting Jesus Babies.

Palin-land

–WKW

Comments

7 Responses to “William K. Wolfrum’s Morning – Dance, Tucker! Dance!”

  1. Michael on August 31st, 2010 6:10 am

    Kudos on the Emo Phillips reference. That guy was pretty funny for the 5 minutes he existed.

  2. Let’s Blog around « Blogaround « William K. Wolfrum Chronicles on August 31st, 2010 6:43 am

    [...] just noticed something – I forgot to promote any blogs in today’s Morning post. I have to blame my own narcissism on this (if you know me, you quickly learn I’m all me, all [...]

  3. dgun on August 31st, 2010 8:06 am

    > I say we just lump them all in together

    Fox loves to boast about their ratings. And guess what those ratings make them? Main Stream Media.

    Isn’t it ironic
    don’t ya think
    a little too ironic
    yea, I really do think

  4. Michael on August 31st, 2010 10:25 am

    Now I have that song stuck in my head. Thanks, dgun.

  5. hugh.c.mcbride on August 31st, 2010 11:20 am

    You’d think that ne’er-do-wells out there would be flocking to submit their resumes for the currently vacant Notorious Mexican Drug Lord. Especially considering that the of the other two high-profile SUPER VILLAIN positions, “Al-Queda #2″ has a life expectancy of about an hour & a quarter & “Dick Cheney” comes with the requirement that you gotta associate with Liz Cheney (and even potential super villains have *some* standards, amiright?)

    Speaking of villainy, I would *totally* wear that Palin t-shirt.

  6. hugh.c.mcbride on August 31st, 2010 11:22 am

    dgun:

    I just went to make a peanut butter & banana sandwich, & I could not for the life of me find the proper utensil to complete the procedure. Yep, I gots 10,000 spoons when all I need is a knife.

    And I blame you.

  7. dgun on August 31st, 2010 6:23 pm

    haha @ Hugh and Michael

    That’s one of those songs that’s hard to shake free of.

    —-

    Read forward at your own risk…

    here’s another to spin in your brain for days:

    philosophy is the talk on a cereal box
    religion is a smile on a dog

    i’m not aware of too many things
    i know what i know if you know what i mean

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