Answering the Stupidest Questions: Do Dead Cows Mean Biblical Prophecy is coming true?

January 18, 2011 by  

Hello everyone, and welcome to today’s episode of “Answering the Stupidest Questions.”

(Applause)

Today, Time Magazines dares to ask the question ringing in hardly anyone’s mind: “Does the Death of 200 Cows in Wisconsin Confirm Biblical Prophecy?”

Regardless of the outcome of those necropsies, plenty of people find the herd’s mysterious death somewhat apocalyptic, especially in the wake of events that claimed the lives of thousands of birds and fish in Arkansas, and hundreds of birds in Sweden, Louisiana and Kentucky.

Some Christians, including online theologian Paul Begley in Indiana, believe the animal deaths were divined from above as a sign the end of days is approaching.

So, the question: “Does the Death of 200 Cows in Wisconsin Confirm Biblical Prophecy?”

Answer: Of course not, you feeble, pandering morons.

That’s all for today, join us next week when we answer a question from young Billy O’Reilly, who asks “Being that tides are scientifically unexplainable, is it God?”

Thank you and good night!

(Applause)

–WKW

Comments

3 Responses to “Answering the Stupidest Questions: Do Dead Cows Mean Biblical Prophecy is coming true?”

  1. Michael on January 19th, 2011 5:06 am

    So, the Rapture isn’t nigh? Crap! So, I guess I should probably keep going to work then.

  2. William K. Wolfrum on January 19th, 2011 11:42 am

    I don’t know. The Rapture Index is at 172, you know.

  3. Michael on January 19th, 2011 9:18 pm

    But that’s hell and gone from the record 182 high. Thanks, Bill. Now I’m going to be glued to this Rapture clock until I get bored.

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