Incredibly inept & stupid GOP field guarantees Obama’s re-election

October 31, 2011 by  

These are incredibly bad candidates.

Eighteen months ago, I wrote that President Barack Obama would win a landslide re-election in 2012. It’s time to double-down on that prediction. Come Wednesday, Nov. 7, 2012, Obama will have another 400 electoral votes and four more years of the presidency on his hands. It’s a sure thing.

While I admit the high unemployment numbers should be enough to trouble any incumbent, I refer back to my key factor for why Obama will win re-election: “All the GOP has to run against him are Republicans.”

My friends, with roughly one year to go until the general election, the GOP has amassed what can only be called the worst group of presidential candidates in the history of civilization. By far. This is going back to hunter-gatherer civilizations, even.

I’m not exaggerating here. People, HERMAN CAIN is the current GOP front-runner. Sure, he can come off as likable, but that view of him is changing rapidly. Add to that he has no grasp of any policy issues, whether foreign or domestic. None. He can’t even repeat simple GOP talking points without screwing it up. And honestly, I’ve seen no reason to believe Cain even wants to be President. I think he wants to sell some books, massage his own ego and then exit stage right once things start getting real. And things are getting real.

By all intents and purposes, Mitt Romney should be the GOP nominee. But it’s getting harder and harder to see him pull it off. And even if he does, he is so despised among the current conservative movement, that he has no shot in a head-to-head match-up. And for good reason. Romney has – almost without exception – proved to be a man with no real convictions on any issue. He’s pretty, but so is Megan Fox, and everyone’s tired of her acting, as well.

Rick Perry is stupendously out of his depth and in full collapse mode.

Newt Gingrich is an angry, serial adulterer.

Michelle Bachmann, Ron Paul and Rick Santorum are ideologues that are just minutes away from dropping out of the race altogether.

Jon Huntsman doesn’t even deserved to be mentioned here, such is his lack of visibility and support.

Seriously, try and imagine any one of the above-mentioned candidates in a debate with Obama. It will be wholesale slaughter. Because while Obama has been dinged up during the past four years, his support is still at reasonable historical levels to indicate re-election anyway. Add to that the fact that the GOP will offer him up a completely unelectable candidate, and you have yourself a sure thing.

The Obama Re-election Extravaganza has yet to be fully unveiled. And once it is, look for him to enjoy 20-30 percent leads over whoever the GOP offers up for sacrifice. Because Obama will most certainly do his part to win re-election.

And the GOP candidate – whoever it is – will do their part to guarantee four more years of Obama, as well. Because simply put, there has never been a stupider, phonier or more ridiculous field of candidates than what the GOP is now offering.



11 Responses to “Incredibly inept & stupid GOP field guarantees Obama’s re-election”

  1. Rmuse on October 31st, 2011 9:13 am

    Really good, concise portrayal of ineptitude represented by these dolts. Although, even dolts have more going than this field. Nice work.

  2. Michael on November 1st, 2011 6:23 am

    That’s the most honest assessment of the situation I’ve read in over a year. They ought to put you on TV. Or at least a webcam or something.

  3. William K. Wolfrum on November 1st, 2011 10:03 am

    I have a face and disposition made for the wretched depths of the Internet, is the main problem.

  4. Michael on November 2nd, 2011 5:42 am

    Pffft! Whatever! Have you seen the people they put on TV these days (Fox excluded…that’s where the prom kings and queens go to “work”)? Ed Schultz isn’t a pretty man, and they keep him on TV. And Chris Matthews’ voice is made of laser-guided ice picks that head straight for your ears, but he’s been on for more than a decade. It can be done!

    Plus, there needs to be more cussing on the news. A lot of current events require cuss words. And a lot of current public figures require open mockery. Our news corps is wholly unwilling to take up that task, so I nominate you. Where do I turn in my nomination?

  5. edthurston on November 6th, 2011 11:06 pm

    Instead of pointing out what’s wrong with the personal lives of the candidates, why not look at their platforms and plans instead like the 999 plan detailed in ¬†

  6. tmac on November 7th, 2011 7:48 am

    Hahahaha, this is perfect.
    Um and Michael… OMG “Chris Matthews voice is made of laser-guided ice picks that head straight for your ears”…

  7. Self Deprecate Political Humor & Cartoons on November 13th, 2011 11:13 am

    The headline pretty much sums the 2012 election up.

    This crop of candidates is a political comedy gold mine. It’s Fruitcake of the Month Club, the gift that keeps on giving.

  8. Joan on November 14th, 2011 6:00 am

    Don’t forget Mitt Romney was one of those vulture capitalists who led the US economy to ruin – and he can fix it!!!!!!!! LOL

  9. Verified Atheist on November 14th, 2011 7:37 am

    I agree with ed. I think there’s a gold mine of humorous opportunities at I mean, I know how challenging it can be to get humor out of fiscal plans, but Cain’s 9-9-9 plan isn’t really that fiscal. I have faith in you!

  10. Zentrails on November 14th, 2011 11:07 am

    heck, Bob Dole would make a better choice for the GOP next year than anything they currently have.

    Heck, he won’t even be 90 yet in 2012, write ‘em in, GOPERS! LOL

  11. Wolfrum’s Morning: You looking at me? « William K. Wolfrum’s Morning « William K. Wolfrum Chronicles on March 21st, 2012 5:52 am

    [...] blocking out the fact that Romney will win. And since normal Americans have been terrified by the clown-show that is the GOP race, it remains inevitable that Barack Obama will be [...]

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