This weekend in Jesus Christ
January 9, 2012 by William K. Wolfrum
Things Jesus didn’t do over the weekend:
Help Arizona-born U.S. citizen Amir Mirza Hekmati avoid being sentenced to death for being a spy in Iran.
Help millions of Iraqi refugees.
Keep Syrian protesters from being killed.
Keep Beyonce & Jay-Z from naming their daughter “Blue Ivy.”
Help 10 Pakistani soldiers avoid denogginization.
Help the two people killed in a bus crash in Montana.
Keep gas prices from rising.
Keep a young girl from being cyberbullied until she killed herself, and keep the cyberbullies from mocking her after she died.
Things Jesus did over the weekend:
Help Tim Tebow beat the Pittsburgh Steelers and throw for 316 yards, which is similar to a Bible verse.
–WKW
No “H”?
There’s also a lack of mention of the size of Jesus. I mean, we must never forget that he was, in fact, enormous.
Well it’s like I always say get off the Lord’s bus if you aint got correct change!!!
Why should I bother to care about Religion or Atheism, unless it would get me laid and/or give me some mf’in money?
[...] [...]
Yeah, I’ve been saying that Jesus needs to get his priorities straight. I mean it’s cool that he’s a football fan and all, and he can even be a Broncos fan, I don’t care.
What DOES bother me is that he seems to be shirking his duties in order to help a bottom of the barrel QB win games, just so everybody can claim he helped.
Is Jesus insecure?
If the Broncos beat the Patriots this weekend, I expect all of you to be baptized. Full immersion in some nasty, cold river. None of this wimpy sprinkling crap…
You can double-up on baptizing? Well, I suppose every little bit helps.