Afonso, Ralphie & a tomato of desire

William K. Wolfrum is an American writer now living in Brazil. E-mail: wkwolfrum(at)gmail.com.

• "Breaking: Mitt Romney announces he has never massaged John Travolta, contrary to his NYT piece "I Massaged the Hell Out of John Travolta."
• "Funny how Mitt Romney is a high-ranking Mormon but never has to answer one question about LDS involvement in California's Prop. 8."
• "I agree both parties are alike. But there are differences. Such as, Dems want less wealth inequality & Republicans want more pissing on corpses."
• "When I'm on my deathbed, I want to try heroin. Why not? Then the Dr. can say 'He only has days to live. And he's now addicted to heroin.'

More from William K. Wolfrum on Twitter here.