Wolfrum’s Morning: You can have my machete slingshot when you pry it from my cold, dead hands

April 19, 2012 by  

If you criminalize machete slingshots, only criminals will have machete slingshots.

Today’s Reading

Little Green Footballs: Damn, the National Review is swarming with racists.

Dick Clark: Not long before he died, the former American Bandstand host had something to say about silence.

Timothy McSweeney: For teachers, there are stages of grading.

Dave Weigel: At least Mitt Romney knows to keep the conservative base awash in bones.

MSNBC: What’s the deal with all these cosmic rays?

Finally

Machetes: So awesome even chimps can use them.

–WKW

Comments

5 Responses to “Wolfrum’s Morning: You can have my machete slingshot when you pry it from my cold, dead hands”

  1. Michael on April 19th, 2012 6:06 am

    I’m confused. If you’re that close to your target, why not just run at them with the machete? Is it ever necessary to launch the machete, instead of just hacking away at someone? I don’t know how these things work, as I don’t own a machete. Or a slingshot. Or a machete slingshot.

  2. William K. Wolfrum on April 19th, 2012 6:19 am

    If you can shoot something, you do it. Sigh. Why must you hate America, Michael?

  3. dgun on April 20th, 2012 5:56 am

    I think there might be a market for slingshot machetes among chimps. Some kind of bartering arrangement would have to be worked out, though. Chimps are notoriously cash poor.

  4. dgun on April 20th, 2012 5:57 am

    And by the way, slingshot machetes don’t kill people, people and chimps kill people.

  5. Michael on April 20th, 2012 6:56 am

    Monkeys kill people, if they have a gun.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mmtX6Tj74oU

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