God signs new 4-year deal with Democrats: “I can finally get my Mom a new house”

September 5, 2012 by  

HEAVEN - God, the controversial creator of everything everywhere, has signed a new deal with the Democratic Party that will keep him in their fold for the next four years.

God celebrates the DNC folding over a non-issue.

“This is just a thrill,” said God, 42. “There so much uncertainty in this game, but now I feel as though I’ve finally made it.”

The Democratic Party had considered releasing God outright in its current platform, but - under pressure from the Republican Party - decided at the last minute to offer the All-Powerful Deity the new deal. Details of the contract have yet to be released, but it is thought God will receive a generous package that includes having a say in all future Democratic decisions.

“Really, this is awesome. Now, I can finally get my Mom that new house she’s always wanted,” said God, an Aquarius. “Now it’s all about suiting up and sticking my hands into everything I can.”

The Democratic Party also announced today that Reality-Based Progressive Thinking has been placed on irrevocable waivers to make roster space for God. Also, Jerusalem as the Capital of Israel has been placed on the Practice Squad.

-WKW


Comments

One Response to “God signs new 4-year deal with Democrats: “I can finally get my Mom a new house””

  1. Fact-Checking William K. Wolfrum: The Fact-Checkening « Media « William K. Wolfrum Chronicles on September 6th, 2012 5:08 am

    [...] Let us begin. Claim: God “Bought His Mom A House” after signing a 4-year contract with Democrats. [...]

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