Fox News Election Day Live-Blog 2012

November 6, 2012 by  

Four years ago, I risked my life by spending all of Election Day live-blogging Fox News coverage. Never again, I said. But over the months, I have realized the 2012 race between Barack Obama and Mitt Romney is the most important of our lifetimes. The most important in American history. I realized I HAD to do it one more time. So I again risk my mental health. For you.

Also, some woman e-mailed me and said she hoped I’d do it again and my wife demanded I do it again. Hey, she’s the one who has to live with me.

So, welcome to the Fox News Election Day Live-Blog 2012.

Having watched Fox News a bit yesterday, I am now under the assumption that Mitt Romney will win this election with at least 350 electoral votes. It’s pretty much a done deal at Fox that Mitt will win. My guess is this attitude is partly to fire up the base and partly to try and act shocked when Obama wins. And he will. Just like I predicted in 2010.

So let us begin. I will have some updates up here on certain things as the day goes on. For now, please note that every time someone on Fox mentions “Voter Fraud” – again preparing for deligitimizing Obama’s win – I will denote this with the Dancing baby GIF:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Let us begin:

Update 1: If you want to donate a little bit to help defray the medical costs I am incurring today:

Fox News Election Day Live-Blog 2012

The polls open to Fox & Friends. Why do these people have friends?

6:10 a.m.: Benghazi!!!!

 6:15 a.m.:  Can Romney win Pennsylvania? Absolutely, says Ed Rollins and two other white guys.

The one thing I love about seeing Fox News on a satellite system in Brazil is that there is no advertising whatsoever. Thus, Fox fills the ad time with “Fox News Extras” which tend to be wildly liberal. Lots of climate change stuff.

 6:22 a.m.: Random deficit fear-mongering.

6:23 a.m.: Evan Bayh now saying that Obama needs to move to the right if he wins re-election. Bayh’s a Democrat, if you forgot.

6:27 a.m.: Big turn out in Virginia! But first, happy birthday Rebecca Romijn!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

6:32 a.m.: Polling opens in Ohio, the only state that matters.

6:33 a.m.:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

6:32 a.m.: Am I the only one that wants to see Peter Doocy and Luke Russert make out?

6:36 a.m.:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

6:39 a.m.: Don’t let the accent fool you, Stuart Varney is an incredibly stupid man.

6:41 a.m.: Remember, a vote for Obama is a vote to send Varney to some other country.

6:46 a.m.: Obama hates capitalism.

6:48 a.m.: For a judge, Andrew Napolitano doesn’t seem to understand libel laws.

6:48 a.m.: Fiscal cliff!!!!!

6:55 a.m.: Am I the only one that wants to see Karl Rove and Frank Luntz make out?

6:56 a.m.: Benghazi!!

7:00 a.m.: Think of how many people lined up for Chik fil-A. Imagine those people voting for Romney?

WKW: Getting people to vote early was a clutch move by Team Obama. Races that would otherwise be toss-ups are going to go to the president due to those early votes.

7:10 a.m.:

7:11 a.m.: Fox & Friends mocking Jill Biden for being a doctor. This ignores the fact that Jill Biden is awesome.

7:15 a.m.: Those damned voting machines. Always changing Republican votes to Dem. Yeah. that happens.

WKW: While this is a momentous election, I tend to agree with Ana Marie Cox – whatever happens, the U.S. will get by. A Romney win, of course, will make that wildly more difficult. The Supreme Court hangs in the balance, as does a U.S. budget that would be obliterated under a Romney presidency. The U.S. will get by, one way or another. Today’s vote could just make the job tougher.

7:35 a.m.: Eric Cantor is the most constipated man on the planet.

7:46 a.m.: By campaigning for President, Obama abdicated his responsibilities. — Steve Doocy.

7:47 a.m.: Steve Doocy tosses Eric Cantor a tough question: “I’m sure you want people out there pulling the lever for Mitt Romney, right?”

WKW: Please note I will be dealing with occasional internet outages here, as I live in Brazil and that’s what happens.

7:49 a.m.: There is visible desperation into Katrina.

7:53 a.m.: Robert Gibbs should be the only Democrat allowed on Fox News today.

7:56 a.m. Ed Gillespie: “The most dangerous place to be today will be between a Republican and a voting booth.” Or Afghanistan. It’s dangerous there, also.

WKW: A win for Mitt Romney will prove that there’s still a place in America for good-looking, super-rich white guys.

WKW: Obama gets Springsteen & Jay-Z. Romney gets Kid Rock. Case closed.

8:05 a.m.: Mike Tobin looks like what my big toe looks like with a toupee.

8:07 a.m.:

8:08 a.m.: NEW BLACK PANTHERS!!!!

8:10 a.m.: Benghazi!!!

8:11 a.m.: Sandtrina!!

8:12 a.m.: The lamestream media sucks.

8:16 a.m.: NEW BLACK PANTHERS!!!!

8:17 a.m.: The vote was really close in 1864. Never forget.

8:20 a.m.: Peter Johnson, Jr. is about to start singing about the beauty of voting.

8:25 a.m.: Rudy Giuliani saying he couldn’t imagine Reagan letting a consulate getting attacked.

8:27 a.m.: Sandtrina!!!

8:28 a.m.: Rudy (Sept. 11) Giuliani talking about Obama using a disaster as a photo op.

8:45 a.m.:

8:58 a.m.: NEW BLACK PANTHERS!!!!

9:00 a.m.: Fox & Friends is over. That’s a big hurdle, right there. Let us celebrate with the Village People:

9:06 a.m.:

9:17 a.m.: NEW BLACK PANTHERS!!!!

9:18 a.m.: NAVY SEALS!!!!

9:27 a.m.: NEW BLACK PANTHERS!!!!

9:28 a.m.: NEW BLACK REPUBLICAN!!!

WKW: If the New Black Panthers were involved in Benghazi, Fox News would melt.

WKW: Bill Kristol is looking more and more like Chevy Chase. And he’s funnier, to boot.

9:30 a.m.: Revenge!!

9:42 a.m.: Isn’t Obama not campaigning in certain states just like Romney saying 47% of the country can go to hell?

9:46 a.m.: First appearance of Paul Ryan. Fox News is noticeably erect.

9:57 a.m.: Scott Rassmussen has no idea which way the election will go. This is one of many things that Scott Rasmussen has no clue about.

10:00 a.m.: Another hour, another guarantee that Romney can win this thing.

10:05 a.m.: Only 8 more hours until Brit Hume and Chris Wallace can try and convince you Romney can win.

10:06 a.m.: Robo-calls coming into swing states telling people they can vote via phone. Nothing to see here.

10:08 a.m.:

WKW: If you’re interested in actual voting malfeasance, check out The Brad Blog.

10:15 a.m.: Lanny Davis – the worst democrat in history – has taken time away from pursuing Morgan Fairchild to appear on Fox.

10:17 a.m.: Monica Crowley talks about Reagan. And other talking points.

10:18 a.m.: Lanny Davis concedes to Crowley and Fox News that Obama is piece of crap.

10:34 a.m.: I’ve seen Romney’s speech from yesterday 252 times thus far.

10:35 a.m.: When Megyn Kelly asks you what you truly think, you tell her, dammit!

WKW: As Fox News does all it can to convince you Romney can win, Nate Silver has it as a near-statistical certainty that he can’t.

10:39 a.m.: Will Iowa decide the election? No, says I.

10:41 a.m.: There are so many blonde women on Fox News it’s disconcerting.

10:47 a.m.: Michael Barone predicts a Romney “unambiguous victory.” Because he is an unambiguous partisan ideologue.

WKW: One thing all Conservatives need to remember – Y’all hate Mitt Romney. With a passion. Ahh, you’ll remember tomorrow.

11:02 a.m.: Democracy is happening today! If Mitt wins!

WKW: I don’t think anyone could ever get tired of watching video of people at polling stations. It’s griping stuff.

WKW: Juan Williams getting ready to appear. He’s still around? How about that. Good for him.

Breaking: Someone told Juan Williams that George McGovern died.

11:20 a.m.: I’ve been at this five hours now. I’m doing ok, thus far. But God, I dislike Juan Williams.

11:28 a.m.: OMG OMG Mitt is coming out of a plane!

11:33 a.m.: Jenna Lee is incredibly annoying. She’ll go far at Fox News.

11:36 a.m.: I like Matt Schlapp’s face. He’s a typical propagandist, of course.

11:43 a.m.: Obama shows up at a polling place and makes some comments. Now, here’s Mitt Romney’s plane!

11:43 a.m.: Britt Hume shows up! He’s HAMMERED! (I think)

Random Entertainment Tidbit: Harrison Ford would consider playing Han Solo again. Speaking for everyone, everywhere, I say no.

11:54 a.m.: They are doing a special segment on pundits. Ooooh, look, it’s Britt Hume and Juan Williams!

11:56 a.m.:

12:01 p.m.: Chris Wallace is in the house! He doesn’t know who will win, either! Now we’re talking polling samples. D-plus-7 and Obama wins!

WKW:The early coverage thus far on Fox News has been dull. It is based on one thing – making the case that Romney can win. It’s literally nuts and bolts stuff as pundits come on and talk about districts in Iowa that could matter. Hell, Wallace said D-Plus-7 and Obama wins. What does that even mean? There is obviously a plan behind this type of coverage.

WKW: Seriously, they are basing the idea that Romney will win on “Enthusiastic Romney Voters!” Such an animal has never existed.

Random Puppy Porn:

Random Tweet:

There were a lot of black people voting at my location this morning. @FoxNews should I be calling someone? — Jon Bauer.

12:30 a.m.: Whatever you do, do not invite Joe Vardon of the Columbus Dispatch to be on your show. He needed 20 minutes to say he didn’t know who would win Ohio.

12:31 p.m.: NEW BLACK PANTHERS!!!!

12:34 p.m.: I think we all remember back in 2008 when NEW BLACK PANTHERS!!! stood by a door and did nothing. Like they are doing now. At one polling station.

12:37 p.m.: Tom Ridge says Romney can win Pennsylvania. Romney can win everywhere. Just keep repeating that.

12:52 a.m.: The electoral college – something the GOP has been against since possibly later tonight.

WKW: I think I may stop using the Dancing baby. There are going to be a LOT of voter fraud claims coming.

WKW: Take a look at Think Progress’ Election Live blog here.

WKW: By the way, you can follow me on Twitter here.

1:00 p.m.: Megyn Kelly is here to say that some source or another says it’s the closest election in the history of elections.

WKW: I’m not sure if I’m spelling Megyn Kelly’s name correctly. I don’t really care.

1:03 p.m.: It is close. We know it is close because we keep saying it’s close.

1:06 p.m.: A huge array of stars coming tonight on Fox News. I bet we see Trump there.

1:08 p.m.: With the election over and saddled with the Browns, Bengals & Cavs, we won’t be hearing from Ohio for a long time after today.

1:11 p.m. SANDTRINA!

1:13 p.m.: Liz Cheney on the way. It’s getting slimier.

WKW: Mitt Romney says if he wins, he won’t spend his Presidency blaming his predecessor. The man just cannot stop lying.

1:18 p.m.: Liz Cheney is now blasting Obama for blaming her Dad too often.

1:20 p.m.: Mark the time. The name George W. Bush was spoken for the first time.

1:21 p.m.: Liz Cheney is just an awful human. Just awful. Let’s watch some “Hogan’s Heroes” instead.

1:25 p.m.: Fiscal Cliff!!!

1:29 a.m.: Stuart Varney has said growth 32 times. I’d think it was a dare if it weren’t for the part thatVarney is an idiot.

1:30 a.m.: Maybe Obama’s biggest problem is … OBAMA!

Fact: A handful of men will make an amazing amount of money off of Sandy.

1:37 p.m.: Some guy is saying that Democrats hate Obama and that Obama is a jerk and that he can see in his eyes that Obama is sad.

1:40 p.m.: The Obamas hate America. REVENGE!!

1:42 p.m.:

1:50 p.m.: SANDTRINA!!! Giuliani back on to complain that the government hasn’t fixed everything on the East Coast. Why isn’t Obama throwing money at them!!

1:55 p.m.: Rudy Giuliani knows what it’s like to capitalize off of a disaster but see that popularity dwindle.

2:02 p.m.:

2:03 p.m.: NEW BLACK PANTHER!!! (Seems there’s just one guy)

2:04 p.m.: Scott Rasmussen on now to apologize for not being able to make it look like Romney is winning by five points.

WKW: I think I’m eight hours into this and have heard a lot of wild things. One thing I haven’t heard? Anything positive of Romney outside of the fact that he isn’t Obama.

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2:15 p.m.: Elections! How do they work?

2:19 p.m.: OMG OMG!!! Peggy Noonan!!!

2:34 p.m.: Peggy Noonan thinks this is an amazing time in politics. A pity she’s unable to see any of it.

2:35 p.m.: Never mind the data. Data is stupid. Trust your gut and your friends. Noonan’s Republican friends think Romney will win.

2:37 p.m.: Peggy Noonan literally has no clue what she’s talking about. “I respect Scott Rasmussen so much,” says she. Yes, she did.

2:38 p.m.: Peggy Noonan can look at a candidate’s face and how they carry themselves and decide if they will win. And Romney is just glorious to her.

2:45 p.m.: Let’s have Jonah Goldberg on a channel that is made for Conservatives and have him debate whether the media makes a difference in elections.

WKW: Funny how they pile on Obama for blaming Bush but then jump in and say “The media was so much harder on Bush!!”

WKW: Also, Jonah Goldberg is a little fraud of a man.

2:55 p.m. Fox News – All Other Media Sucks, We Decided.

WKW: I have to agree with Dan Mirvish that 2012 hasn’t been as fun as 2008. You can see it on Fox. The enthusiasm – which they claim Romney has in abundance – is non-existent. This is looking like an Obama win is coming. No one is hanging their neck out one bit for Romney.

3:00 p.m.: Shepard Smith! This is good. I like Shep. He’s hard to dislike.

WKW: I’d like to see someone make Ed Henry & Paul Ryan puppets. They are both really puppet-like. In many ways.

3:07 p.m.: Shep is really orange. Mitt Romney-at-a-Taco-Bell orange.

Random Tweet:

The saddest thing isn’t that Donald Trump led the GOP primary polls for a bit. It’s that he was the third-least suitable candidate who did. — Josh Barro.

3:25 p.m. Fiscal Cliff!!!!!

WKW: Watch an Angry Black Lady Live-Blog today’s events here.

3:44 p.m.: Both Romney and Obama surrogates are sure their candidates will win.

Random Video About Sperm:

3:45 p.m.: A lot of people are using Twitter. Thanks, Jenna Lee.

WKW: Those affected by Katrina must be shocked that the East Coast hasn’t been completely rebuilt in a week.

Random Tweet:

1st time voting as an American, my gender trumped all.Will protest & push for better Obama foreign policy but today was about women’s rights — Mona Eltahawy.

4:00 p.m.: Neil Cavuto coming on with pure SANDTRINA!

4:06 p.m.: The Dow Jones is up. This is obviously great news for John McCain.

4:07 p.m.: Cavuto says the markets thrive on security. The markets have been thriving for four years now.

4:10 p.m.: There was a mural of Obama at a polling place. This is what Fox is now reporting. “It wasn’t completely covered up,” says Cavuto.

4:12 p.m.: Larry Sabato is talking Virginia. Larry Sabato would DM me on Twitter sometimes because I followed him, but I couldn’t DM him. So screw him, anyway.

4:21 p.m.: International election observers don’t come to the U.S.!!!!

WKW: Fox News and the GOP are using the plan of “If you act like it voters are enthusiastic, it means they’re enthusiastic.

4:24 p.m.: Fiscal Cliff!!!

4:34 p.m.: Don Imus is talking. There is no need whatsoever for that rambling has-been to be talking about politics or anything, for that matter.

4:38 p.m.: I’m a big fan of Dick Morris,” says Don Imus. “But Dick likes a little bit of humiliation.”

4:42 p.m.: Bobby Jindal up next:

!!!!

The Daily Show with Jon Stewart Mon – Thurs 11p / 10c
Bobby Jindal’s Republican Response
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor & Satire Blog The Daily Show on Facebook

4:43 p.m.: Bobby Jindal thinks Romney will win. Ok, mostly he thinks Obama will lose. Like everyone else, no one is talking positively about Mitt.

WKW: Jindal is about the fourth Republican that has said Romney will win because it feels like he will.

WKW: If you think Mitt Romney can win, please remember – he once trailed Herman Cain.

Random Big Picture of Herman Cain:

4:53 p.m.: Bill Richardson now talking to Cavuto. Remember when Richardson was a star? Good times.

5:00 p.m.: Eric Bolling is proof that if you just read the lines they give you withe enough spittle & anger,. you’ll go far in the right-wing world.

5:04 p.m.: I think they’re trying to do some humor here. It’s tough to tell. (“I don’t want to hear ‘Gallup’ and ‘Pew’ again unless a horse breaks wind!”

Fact: Fox News is mailing this election in.

5:10 p.m.: “We all know Sununu, he’s been a great surrogate for Romney.” — Dana Perino.

Fact: The name “Nate Silver” has not been mentioned once today.

5:20 p.m.: Will Scott Walker carry Wisconsin for Mitt Romney? No! Next question?

WKW: This current show on Fox is called “The Five.” They are just going over every state and discussing how Romney could win. This is just heinous TV right now.

5:24 p.m.: Tom Arnold will not be voting for Roseanne. So, now we know that.

5:28 p.m.: “Kenya believe it?”

Random Tweet:

4+ hour lines at polls are effectively a poll tax for those who can’t afford to miss work or pay babysitter — Sally Kohn.

WKW: Enthusiasm comes when people are excited about their candidate. No one – NO ONE – is excited about Mitt Romney. Not even Fox News.

5:37 p.m.: Dana Perino was once roommates with a girl who won the Melon Queen title. So now you know that.

5:41 p.m.: Ed Henry is in Chicago. He chose to work at Fox News. Must have been a healthy paycheck.

5:43 p.m.: Scottie Pippen played on Obama’s team in basketball today. Obama’s team won.

5:45 p.m.: BENGHAZI!!

5:46 p.m.: Big points to Beckel for mocking Fox’s NEW BLACK PANTHERS!!! fetish.

5:48 p.m.:

WKW: For a group of people who all brag about how many guns they own, conservatives appear insanely terrified of the NEW BLACK PANTHERS!!!

5:58 p.m.: Another gut feels that Romney will win. Just a gut feeling is all.

6:00 p.m.: And the official election coverage with Big stars like Dick Morris now begins.

6:02 p.m.: Fox releases it’s first exit polls. They are meaningless.

WKW: This isn’t going to be a long night. This will not go into tomorrow. This night will be over early.

6:04 p.m.: Ed Henry is very fond of the phrase “One-Term Wonder.”

6:10 p.m.: A chill runs through Fox News as it becomes more clear that there will be a huge turnout.

6:12 p.m.: Karl Rove and Chris Wallace appear. I wonder which way Rove is leaning?

Random Tweet:

If you’re a Floridian or Ohioan, think about the world’s environment as you vote. There are a couple hours yet to go. — Bill Nye.

6:23 p.m.: Brit Hume finds a straw. Grabs at it.

WKW: I can’t say I’d feel comfortable getting on a plane with Juan Williams.

6:34 p.m.: Does Fox News have any non-White reporters?

Fact: Bill Hemmer will play the lead role in “Mitt Romney: The Movie.”

6:41 p.m.: Charles Krauthammer and his 80 megatons of charisma on now. He doesn’t know what’s going on, either.

6:54 p.m.: “I think it depends which way the independents break,” says Brit Hume.

7:00 p.m.: The first polls close. Ohio to close in 30 minutes.

BREAKING: FOX NEWS CALLS KENTUCKY FOR ROMNEY!!!!!

7:04 p.m.: Brit Hume reconfirms that he has no idea what’s going on.

7:06 p.m.: Exit polls are worthless. Now, here’s Martha with some exit polls.

7:28 p.m.: Brit Hume rereconfirms that he has no idea what’s going on.

BREAKING: FOX NEWS CALLS WEST VIRGINIA FOR ROMNEY.

WKW: Remember when Paul Ryan was a game-changer? No one has said a damn thing about Ryan all day on Fox News.

BREAKING: FOX NEWS CALLS SOUTH CAROLINA FOR ROMNEY.

Random Underwater Dog:

More here.

7:50 p.m.: Twitter!! How does it work!?

WKW: Fox News is being downright wonky and civilized today. The bizarre circus of 2008 is missing. I blame not enough Britt Hume.

BREAKING: FOX NEWS CALLS GEORGIA FOR ROMNEY!!!!!

WKW: Mitt Romney has a vision for the future. It’s sort of a Mad Max thing.

8:00 p.m.: 16 more polls close. Obama up 78-71 in the electoral college.

8:04 p.m.: Bill O’Reilly shows up for the first time. “Americans like storms,” says BillO.

8:05 p.m.: O’Reilly blasting away at Romney. That said, this has been the most attention Romney has gotten all day.

8:06 p.m.: BENGHAZI!!!

WKW: Megyn Kelly is shocked that Romney isn’t winning by a landslide. That’s what life in a bubble does.

8:07 p.m.: O’Reilly now going off that most Americans want free stuff which is why they want Obama. He’s talking about how White people are now a minority. It’s racist garbage. And the first sign of life from Fox all day.

8:13 p.m.: Kirsten Powers has Pawlenty-like charisma.

8:16 p.m.: Shorter Bill O’Reilly: “Get off my lawn, whippersnappers!”

WKW: Fox News just needs to let O’Reilly roam the set and be as obnoxious as he wants to be. Watching Karl Rove and Joe Trippi discuss minutiae with Chris Wallace is pure tedium.

8:33 p.m.: Mike Huckabee is true fringe extremists. But damn, he’s likable.

8:37 p.m.: People of color and others vote for Obama, says Kelly.

8:38 p.m.: Mike Huckabee’s faith has been damaged due to Obama!!

WKW: Linda McMahon losing and Joe Lieberman being out of the Senate are truly lovely things.

WKW: Things you will not see at Fox News.

WKW: Laura Ingraham and Charles Krauthammer should debate. That would please those of us who despise facial expressions.

8:53 p.m.: “Women like strength,” — Ingraham.

WKW: There was no voting fraud.There was just one NEW BLACK PANTHER!!! There is just countine electoral votes and examining counties for trends. There is no sense of the enormity of the day. there is just casual, low-key professionalism at this point.

9:00 p.m.: Mitt Romney loses both Massachusetts and Michigan. He is a man without a home.

9:03 p.m.: Tucker Carlson is in the studio. He is still clinging to a career.

WKW: I’ve heard the phrase “It’s tough to beat an incumbent” about seven times today.

WKW: Apparently Elizabeth Warren has beaten Scott Brown. That is a big f’n deal.

Random Tweet:

5 white people on FOX seem perturbed by Hispanics rejecting the GOP. #Microcosm — Will McKinley.

9:15 p.m.: And the Romney dream of winning Pennsylvania is over. Obama wins PA.

Random Dancing Baby:

9:25 p.m.: Wisconsin called for Obama. Another road to victory for Romney shut down.

Random Tweet:

On The Wall, The Writing. –Nate Silver.

WKW: Things are getting very “who is to blame?” right about now at Fox News.

9:36 p.m.: Time to hear Karl Rove talk about how losing Pennsylvania was a good thing for Romney.

10:00 p.m.: Dear lord, I’ve been doing this for 16 hours now.

10:02 p.m.: Bill Hemmer tries to show how Romney can still win – By winning every state on the table.

10:06 p.m.: Brit Hume makes the case that the U.S. may not be as conservative as Fox News thinks. No way Ailes let him out of that building alive.

WKW: You know, Fox News is giving solid coverage. I have to admit it. No bells and whistles. A little madness got in, but didn’t spread. And you know what? It’s eerie as hell.

10:12 p.m.: Sarah Palin popped onto the screen (for the first time today) and I could have sworn she was an SNL character.

Breaking: American vaginas breathe a sigh of relief as Todd Akin loses.

10:13 p.m.: Seriously, Fox News is all Romney obit right now.

10:17 p.m.: This is the best thing of the night. Basically, Palin just said “WTF is wrong with you Obama voters?” Being judged by Sarah Palin. That’s brilliant.

10:22 p.m.: The thing about Karl Rove is that he’ll claim victory to the bitter end. And, oh yes, it shall be bitter.

10:34 p.m.: Peggy Noonan comes on to say it ain’t over til it’s over.

10:36 a.m.: Here’s a hunch – Peggy Noonan is quite impressed with Peggy Noonan.

10:48 p.m.:
Romney’s campaign sounding shaky.

10:50 p.m.:
Karl Rove and Joe Trippi make for really bad TV.

10:57 p.m.:
I’ve been at this 17 hours now. This may be too long. Susan Estrich’s face is blowing my mind.

11:02 p.m.: George “Macaca” Allen can’t lose enough for my taste.

11:06 p.m.: Brett Baier and Steven Hayes continue the myth that Obama is a left-wing ideologue.

11:11 p.m.:
There’s time to kill and Brit Hume is all about monologuing.

11:14 p.m.: Fox News calls Ohio for Obama. It is over.

11:16 p.m.: “Despite the fact that unemployment is hovering near eight percent, Obama is re-elected,” — Ed Henry.

11:17 p.m.: Fox News officially calls Barack Obama the winner.

So that’s it for me, kids. Enjoy the Obama victory. It is truly an amazing political achievement for him to have won two terms. And, finally, let me leave you with this:

–WKW

Comments

27 Responses to “Fox News Election Day Live-Blog 2012”

  1. Susan on November 6th, 2012 6:40 am

    I think I am the “some woman” to which you refer, and thank you, thank you for doing this again. As I said it my e-mail, it kept me sane and laughing last time. Sharing a link to your blog with friends.

  2. Mr. Sharples on November 6th, 2012 7:09 am

    Please take whatever substances you need to keep this going all day.

  3. Michael on November 6th, 2012 7:20 am

    This is my favorite part of the election season.

  4. Charles Srams on November 6th, 2012 7:25 am

    To mangle the quote “You’re a braver man than me Gunga-Din”. After only a short exposure, I have to change my shirt, because I feel my brain starting to leak out.

  5. Jasmine on November 6th, 2012 7:33 am

    Thanks for your Blog. This is the only way I can “watch” the hideous
    FOX “News”!

  6. Marion in Savannah on November 6th, 2012 8:03 am

    Oh, thank you for your bravery! I’ll be checking in regularly during the day. You’re a martyr to the cause, and we salute you for it.

  7. Michelle on November 6th, 2012 8:06 am

    This is allsome. I salute you.

  8. ajg on November 6th, 2012 9:10 am

    I want to follow your live blog. I really do. But at the third dancing baby I just gave up.

  9. Matt from Chicago on November 6th, 2012 9:11 am

    Not only does Romney get Kid Rock, he also gets Marshal misogonistic and racist, but lets not forget washed up, Tucker.

  10. RachelB on November 6th, 2012 9:51 am

    I admire your intestinal fortitude. If I were doing what you’re doing, it would be days before my hackles came back down.

  11. Marion in Savannah on November 6th, 2012 9:52 am

    Thanks for the random puppy porn! Made for a great palate cleanser.

  12. Kim on November 6th, 2012 10:13 am

    This is just so funny, but the dancing baby could get old.

  13. Jim on November 6th, 2012 10:33 am

    Bring back the dancing baby with Macho Man cranked up to eleven! It’s the only way to survive hours of Fox.

  14. dancinfool on November 6th, 2012 11:25 am

    thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou

  15. Donal on November 6th, 2012 12:37 pm

    I just want to know if I contracted anything by getting this close to a Fox News broadcast.

  16. Petulant on November 6th, 2012 3:13 pm

    Bravo sir. I missed the dancing baby and it so fitting.

  17. Paul Harrington on November 6th, 2012 4:18 pm

    I’m listening to “Do It Your Own Way” by the Voodoo Trombone Quartet. It meshes perfectly with your dancing baby gif.

  18. tchriste52 on November 6th, 2012 5:08 pm

    I’ve sent the link to this blog all around the office. Great work, Wolfrum. I hope your brain isn’t mush by tomorrow. Thank you for your sacrifice. It is really, really appreciated.

  19. Kris on November 6th, 2012 5:34 pm

    This is so hilarious! Thanks for taking one for the team!

  20. Liz Andrews on November 6th, 2012 7:12 pm

    No less than 13 dancing babies! And how much “voter fraud” has actually been reported so far?

  21. Judi on November 6th, 2012 7:13 pm

    This is Great!!! I’ve been watching you all day. Thank you, thank you, thank you for taking the hits to the brain so that I don’t have to. I’m old and I don’t have enough active synapses to lose any.

    You’re a real mensch, Sir!

  22. dgun on November 6th, 2012 8:10 pm

    Bill Wolfrum is a blogging superhero.

    And the trashing of Romney by Fox and right wing media over the next few months will be precious. And sad. And predictable. Preview: The Republicans really needed an even more truly for real conservative candidate to win, like one of the nuts they rejected in their parade of nuts from earlier in the year. That’s the ticket.

  23. Jeffrey, Cheli, and Jimmy Morgan on November 6th, 2012 8:33 pm

    Our hats are off to you sir. As a impatient Fox channel surfer, we applaud your tenacity, peristence and possible masochistoc tendencies. You made the day delightful. Same time, next four years?

    Your new best friends

    jeffrey, Cheli, and Jimmy

  24. Debbie Terhune on November 7th, 2012 6:46 am

    You are so funny. Now I can’t get “every sperm is sacred” out of my head. Yesterday morning i was flipping the stations, changed to fox, saw the hysteria over who they assumed was a black panther, and the clips of the 3 black panthers from 4 years ago. Then, I could not find the remote control, I got frantic.

  25. RachelB on November 7th, 2012 11:41 am

    I tuned in to Fox News very late in the game, but it was in time for Britt Hume to say something like, “I don’t know why Romney hasn’t made the concession call yet. Maybe he sees something in the data that nobody else on Planet Earth does.”

    Tears of laughter, I tell you.

  26. Stephen on November 11th, 2012 8:52 am

    Hilarious. Even funnier after the event. I could practically smell the sweat and lip gloss.

  27. Jimmy Dean on November 27th, 2012 9:54 am

    I just realized something, it may be the most important thing I’ve ever figured out and all because of this coverage of Fox on election day.

    I was carefully analyzing the judicious information you’ve placed here and I realized that Bob Crane might have been gay. Did you see how close he was standing to the other actor? Practically on the same spot. As if he wanted two men to become one. Well of course Bob Crane was an incredibly handsome man. Had he lived longer it’s very possible that he would have been a lynchpin in the homosexual agenda to convert all men over to the homosexual lifestyle. After all, who could resist those dreamy eyes? Those dreamy, dreamy eyes.

    Oh, and I also figured out that Rupert Murdoch is a megalomaniac bent on world domination. But not in a cartoonish and funny Saturday morning cartoon way, no, more like in the third world dictator killing and torturing his own people kind of way.

    But Bob Crane! Who’d a thunk it. Really makes a guy think.

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