William K. Wolfrum’s Morning – Dance, Tucker! Dance!

Tucker Carlson’s greatest journalistic achievement.

News/Politics

La Barbie Caught: One of Mexico’s most notorious drug lords has been caught! Also, applications now being accepted for Notorious Mexican Drug Lord. Apply at the FBI.

Hurricane Earl: It’s coming. And it looks pissed.

Scotland Takes the Lead: Now that Scotland has come up with a wind turbine that can supply energy to 1,000 homes, maybe someone else will step up.

Afghanistan Update: Death!

An Independent Iraq: Iraq has announced it is now independent. This means all hell should break loose any minute.

ObamaCare Already Paying Off: Paying off or scammers, at least. It was nice of the media to help everyone get informed on the subject, eh?

Investigating America: Remember when Republicans spent two solid years wasting time and money on investigating every last move Clinton made? And then the U.S. was attacked by al Qaeda and they blame Clinton for being investigated so much? Yeah, we’re going to try that again.

Random Thought

Being as the rest of the U.S. mainstream media refuses to call out Fox News for their false reporting and demagoguery, from here on out, I say we just lump them all in together. Example: Led by Glenn Beck, the Mainstream Media recently held a big rally about Jesus.

Entertainment

Dance, I Say!: The new stars for Dancing with the Stars have been announced. They include: Bristol Palin, Grover from Sesame Street, Mandrake the Magician, Jean Harlow, Erik Estrada, Emo Phillips, Lindsay Lohan and veteran porn star Christy Canyon. Oh, ok, for the real stars click here.

Paris Chews GREAT Gum: Paris Hilton was busted for cocaine possession. Her excuse – she thought it was gum. Cocaine-gum, just another thing that makes the rich better than you.

Palin-Land Defined

In a perfect world, Sarah Palin would be Queen and surrounded by a bunch of gun-toting Jesus Babies.

–WKW

William K. Wolfrum’s Morning – A Pee-Wee Protest

You just aren’t American if you aren’t protesting something.

News/Politics

More Bad Eggs: Remember, if you’re going to make an omelet, you’re going to have to give a few thousand people salmonella.

CIA Interrogation Tapes: If you want to make sure torture tapes are eliminated, make sure you check under the desk.

They’ve Lost Rubio: When Marco Rubio starts backing away from the Tea Party, you know the end is near.

Doled: How messed up is the Republican Party? Standard-bearer Bob Dole is donating to Charlie Crist.

Mosque Madness: A group of white people protest things they don’t understand.

Drug Testing: The easiest way to test side-effects of drugs? Test them on poor kids in impoverished nations!

Sports

See ya, Lou: I still remember Lou Piniella as a dangerous hitter for a tough Yankees team when the Yanks and Dodgers seemed to meet yearly in the World Series. He’s calling it a career now, and the Hall of Fame should be calling on him in five years time.

American Values: Guy chickens out, allowing a foul ball to hit his girlfriend. Guy then threatens to release nude pictures of her. Girl beats him to the punch.

Blogs

The Pigeon Post: The Lowest Common Denominator.

Doctor Cleveland: Dear Right Wing: Is This War or Not?

Brad Blog: America’s voting machines – now with Pac-Man!

Down With Tyranny: One city’s brave stand against paying taxes – even though it could close the only hospital and turn the place into a ghost town.

Finally

Pee-Wee goes to Sturgis.

If you find yourself needing more Pee-Wee Herman, check him out on Twitter.

–WKW

William K. Wolfrum’s Morning – Mosque Madness

Nothing quite showcases the hallowed ground near Ground Zero better than Thunder Lingerie.

Wolfrum’s Word

There are still 11 weeks to go until the November elections, but Silly Season is seriously underway. Over the past few weeks, some of the biggest political stories have been – Shirley Sherrod, changing the 14th Amendment and ignoring the First Amendment outright. The simple fact is that the GOP Republican Shadow Government will spam the political discourse to get the onus off their actual record. It’s what they do. But with unemployment off the charts and none of their economic plans amounting to much (why didn’t those Bush Tax Cuts protect the economy, anyway?) it would be pleasant to see U.S. voters see through the charade this time.

News/Politics

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William K. Wolfrum’s Morning – August 4, 2010

If Bill Cosby would just remember that he made “Leonard Part 6,” maybe he’d rethink his stance on living.

News/Dinosaurs

Iran: Many an Iranian will look back to this day as the day someone almost killed Ahmadinehad.

Oil Spill: Static Kill appears to be working, says BP. No one sure any longer what any of this means. We’ll have to wait for Operation Slapping Translator. Until then, just assume everything is just fine.

Triceratops: No, there was no Triceratops. Deal with it.

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William K. Wolfrum’s Morning – August 3, 2010

Despite early failures such as the one above, Jake Tapper has still managed to achieve lofty status in the D.C. media world.

News

BP Oil Disaster Wins!: I knew if we all worked separately, clinging to diverse agendas, we could make this happen. By the way, why didn’t Time convert the 4.9 million barrels into gallons? Who has a calculator?

Violence in Pakistan: We might be leaving a federal deficit for our children, but we’re also leaving them a war in Pakistan. More instability in a country that is both friend and foe.

People

Kanye West: The King of Turning Nothing into Something follows one dude on Twitter. Dude could live without it.

Mel Gibson: The one true sign that it’s over for Mel – Leonardo DiCaprio just dumped him.

Today’s Red Dawn Fetishist

Crazy bastard Paul Craig Roberts takes a look at a dark future. Six years from now:

“The first clans organized around local police forces. The conservatives’ war on crime during the late 20th century and the Bush/Obama war on terror during the first decade of the 21st century had resulted in the police becoming militarized and unaccountable.

As society broke down, the police became warlords. The state police broke apart, and the officers were subsumed into the local forces of their communities. The newly formed tribes expanded to encompass the relatives and friends of the police.

The dollar had collapsed as world reserve currency in 2012 when the worsening economic depression made it clear to Washington’s creditors that the federal budget deficit was too large to be financed except by the printing of money.”

Infowars is so insane, it is almost awesome.

Blogs

Crooks & Liars: The Iraq Troop withdrawal is “on schedule,” says Obama.

Paul Krugman: The economist sees a “new definition of prosperity” coming to the U.S.

Newshounds: If the media stopped reporting the dumb things she says and does, more people would like Sarah Palin.

Gay Rights: Gay couple saves life of homophobe. No word on homophobe’s current opinion of gay marriage.

Bob Cesca’s Awesome Blog! Go!: Don’t be afraid to give George H.W. Bush a bit of credit for Clinton’s budget surplus. Also, Cesca put this video up, and he thinks it’s wicked cool. That’s enough for me:

–WKW

William K. Wolfrum’s Morning – July 30, 2010

Basil Marceaux for Governor. Have a nice day. (Via Mario Piperni)

News/Politics

Redemption: Just because Tony Hayward was at the helm when British Petroleum dumped millions of gallons of oil into the Gulf of Mexico doesn’t mean it’s his fault. You jerks.

Disperse Me: The countdown is on – how long before the media connects the “1.7 million gallons of dispersant” and the “Where is the Oil” stories. Because I’m thinking that oil may have been dispersed.

Talking Iran: Iran is ready to talk again! Everything’s going to be just fine.

Internet Surveillance: Like the Bush Administration, the Obama Administration isn’t fond of warrants.

Snooki’d: Does Obama know who Snooki is our not? Millions of words will be written about this in the next 24 hours. Then quickly forgotten.

Entertainment

Ellen, Out: Ellen Degeneres is just too nice to be an American Idol judge.

Chelsea’s Wedding: The media is scouring New York for information on Chelsea Clinton’s wedding. Maybe Andrew Breitbart will release a video.

Blogs

Alan Colmes Presents Liberaland: My latest at Colmes’ place – Mamma, don’t let your babies grow up in Red States.

Politico: Let’s see how long Politico will leave up a factually wrong post. The commenters are having no luck getting a correction and neither is Glenn Greenwald.

Americablog: Swift Boat donors charged with ‘extensive securities fraud’ by SEC. Who would have thought they’d be unethical?

Mudflats: The new Sarah Palin Book cover is here! The new Sarah Palin Book cover is here!

Basil Times Two

Personally, I prefer Basil Marceaux Jr. as a candidate.

One of These Guys Guzzled Steroids

Remembering when George H.W. Bush didn’t give the office the respect it requires.

–WKW

William K. Wolfrum’s Morning – July 22, 2010

Jersey Shore: And you thought the first season was wacky. (via MTV)

News/Politics

Storming the Gulf: Oil clean-up workers, BP prepare to evacuate with a storm on the horizon.

North Korea: A denouncement of U.S. sanctions by North Korea as U.S. announces joint military exercises aimed at deterring the North from any future attack.

Arizona’s Racial Profiling Law: The U.S. lawsuit against Arizona’s new “Hey, you look Mexican-ish” law gets to court today.

Shirley Sherrod: The former USDA employee who was wrongly fired has been offered a new job by the Administration. She says she’ll think about it.

Government Waste: Obama signs law to limit government waste, but it doesn’t mention Shirley Sherrod so no one cares.

Newsiness

We Need a Naked Ranch: The Naked Cowboy is suing the Naked Cowgirl for reasons based on guitar playing, nakedness.

Amerika: Will we all get a chance to say WTF? again to Franz Kafka?

Snookie!!!!!: Jersey Shore is coming back. Kafka would have loved them.

World War II Update: David Cameron says England was a “junior partner”with the U.S. in the fight against the Nazis. Americans cheer as they can now gloat about winning WWII themselves.

Blogs

Dagblog: Genghis takes a look at why the Oakland Right-Wing Terrorist was focusing on the Tides Foundation (Spoiler Alert: It rhymes with “Blenn Bleck.”

Feministing: A brand new look to go with the same attitude at the popular feminism blog.

Freakout Nation: A Tea Partier calls for the killing of Obama, Pelosi and others. The FBI takes an interest.

Crooks & Liars: RNC fails to report $7M in debt to FEC. Dear God, Michael Steele is awesome.

Mother Jones: Everyone loves Elizabeth Warren. Except the bankers. Which is why it’s doubtful she’ll be in charge of new consumer protection agency.

Dvorak: No one could have anticipated that Rupert Murdoch’s plan to charge for online content would be an abject failure.

Tweet of the Day

“While Obama dithers with Andrew Breitbart & Shirley #Sherrod non-scandal, Al Qaeda just keeps training those Jihad monkeys.”

Coming to Theaters

Top Gun: A Love Story

–WKW

Today in Eisenstadt

It seems Mel Gibson has hired a new PR team to change the downward direction of his career.

From HollyScoop:

(Gibson’s) camp has stayed pretty quiet about the whole ordeal and we just found out he’s hired a crisis management team to help him deal with this PR nightmare.

“We understand that Mr. Gibson is going through a tumultuous personal time right now, but we also realize his enormous talent and potential as an artist and advocate for public and philanthropic causes,” said Martin Eisenstadt, CEO and Founder of the EisenstadtGroup, a Washington DC based crisis management consulting firm.

“Regrettably much of Hollywood, including Mr. Gibson’s former agency, has turned its back on him,” said Eisenstadt. “But Mel still embodies the hopes and dreams of millions of Americans, and especially in this campaign season, we feel that he can give voice to the unheard mainstream.”

We always knew our long-time frenemy Eisenstadt would land on his feet.

–WKW

Mel Gibson announces he’s mostly OK with light-skinned Latinas

Having already made his views on Jews clear in an earlier rant, actor Mel Gibson is now in trouble for making derogatory statements towards Blacks in a recent taped tirade. In the tape, Gibson attacks Oksana Grigorieva, the mother of one of his many, many children, for her choice of clothing.

Hours afterward, Gibson came forward with a prepared statement.

“First of all, if you’re white, God Bless you,” said Gibson, a tear slowly working down his cheek. “I’m not all about hate. In fact, I like light-skinned Latinas quite a bit. If they’re Christian. You know, like Christina Aguilera.”

Gibson refused any questions and said he was busy making his next movie about a tolerant man who comes forth and saves a village of savages.

–WKW

William K. Wolfrum’s Morning – June 21, 2010

BP CEO Tony Hayward, relaxing at home with the small people now that he has his life back.

News

Burn it all: Burning of oil in the Gulf of Mexico means death to wildlife. Also, there’s a lot more oil gushing than previously reported.

Politicizing the Oil Spill: It was all bi-partisan teamwork on the oil disaster until Democrats started mocking Joe Barton.

Let Them Drill: There’s no evidence that Deep Water drilling is risky, say plaintiffs.

Israel Eases Gaza blockade: Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu says that easing the Gaza blockade will weaken Hamas. Maybe they could have figured that out pre-flotilla massacre.

Also: Rapper “The Game” shot and killed, humanitarian and former NBA fan-favorite Manute Bol dies.

Odd News

A Heady Day: Finally, we can answer the age-old question – how many human heads can you fit into three boxes?

Catholic Priorities: Remember, it’s much worse for a comedian like Louis CK to make jokes about pedophile priests than it is to defend pedophile priests.

Today in Tasering: Not wearing a seat belt? Tase him!

Put the camera away: If you happen to be being beaten by a Maryland cop, for God’s sake, don’t film it.

Sports

Brazil Handily Wins: Luis Fabiano scored twice (albeit once illegally), as Brazil continued South American domination of the World Cup with a surprisingly easy 3-1 victory over Ivory Coast. Brazil’s only complaint? Kaká being tossed from the game for allowing an Ivory Coast player to run into him.

Anarchy in France: At the 2010, the French can’t win a game and is in the midst of a player revolt. Couldn’t happen to a nicer group.

U.S. Open to McDowell: Graeme McDowell survived a tough Pebble Beach to win golf’s U.S. Open, leaving big names like Tiger Woods, Phil Mickelson and Ernie Els in his wake.

Blogs

Tomfoolery: My Day with Karl Rove.

EZKool: If you watch only Fox News, you know for a fact that the British Petroleum Oil Spill is all the Federal Government’s fault.

Political Carnival: Blackwater forced to pay the price for their sins – by getting a new $120-million government contract.

Pam’s House Blend: What you missed this weekend.

Tweet of the Day

“Repeat a lie often enough and it becomes Mark Kirk’s resume.”

–WKW

William K. Wolfrum’s Morning – June 15, 2010

“Would you just stop it with the forsaking already?”

Wolfrum’s Word

The most interesting thing to me about the much-over-hyped Tea Party movement is how easily it was for the organizers to get normal Americans to fight against their own self-interest. The overall level of ignorance at Tea Party meet-ups has been staggering. And what shows that these are die-hard ignoramuses is their reaction to the British Petroleum oil disaster. Pretty much everyone on the right, and especially on the far right, have refused to see that a corporation the size of BP doesn’t have to care about things like Freedom of the Press, liberties or anything else that’s not directly related to profit.

Basically, the dream of the Tea Party aficionados is to have a very small government, which would allow corporations like BP to rule us all. And that’s just ignorant.

News

Barack to Talk: President Barack Obama will be speaking to the public today from the Oval Office. Will he use the oil spill to kick off his push for energy legislation? Of course. But at least he’s not using an attack on the U.S. to start a war with a nation that had nothing to do with it.

Please Hold: Have you called BP to complain about their destruction of the Gulf of Mexico? You may as well be talking to yourself.

Death in Kyrgyzstan: All hell has broken loose in Kyrgyzstan, with nearly 200 killed thus far in rioting.

Death to Jesus: So a big statue of Jesus was struck by lightning? He must have pissed off Dad.

Entertainment

A Thin Sheen: Just because Charlie Sheen is a sexist, conspiracist douchebag is no reason to not let him run his cars into ditches whenever he gets the urge.

Science Channel Goes Creationist: Hey, when Morgan Freeman is involved, how could the Science Channel refuse airing non-scientific creationist clap-trap?

Sports

Brazil Takes The Field: It can’t be considered a World Cup until Brazil gets involved, and they’ll take the field today against North Korea. Barring a 30-goal effort from North Korea Leader Kim Jong-Il, look for Brazil to take three points in style.

Japan Wins: I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – when it comes to International soccer, Asia is the new Africa.

Stay Out of Strip Clubs: Two of the bigger sports figures that I’ve interviewed in the past have had a bad week. First, UCLA coaching legend John Wooden died at age 99. Now, Titans QB Vince Young has some explaining to do about his recent adventure at a strip club. If Bo Jackson or Archie Griffin have any trouble, let me know.

Blogs

AmericaBlog: The good thing about Margaret Thatcher being in poor mental and physical health? It makes it easier for Sarah Palin to stalk her.

Greg Mitchell: At The Nation, Mitchell gives you a cheat sheet and more links to start your Tuesday.

FreakOut Nation: The South shall rise again! Gather your armies!

LitBrit: Did you know BP had another oil spill going in Alaska?

Tweet of the Day

“Fact: That little swingy thing in the back of your throat was originally called a Vuvuzela.”

–WKW

William K. Wolfrum’s Morning – June 11, 2010

A time of great joy turned tragic for Nelson Mandela, as his great-granddaughter was killed in a car crash just prior to the opening of the 2010 World Cup in South Africa. Read more here.

Wolfrum’s Word

With politicians complaining about “ragheads” in the White House and Americans having little remorse when they hear about an al Qaeda leader killed with his family, on thing is for sure – the rules of political correctness just don’t apply to Muslims, or the Muslim-ish, in the United States. See more of my take on this in my latest post at Alan Colmes’ Liberaland.

News

Brazil’s Rapid Growth: While the rest of the world worries about recession, Brazil now has to worry that its economy is growing too fast.

Oil Spilling more than ever: Fact: Since 2000, the number of oil spills in the U.S. has quadrupled.

World Cup

Mandela’s Loss: With a flurry of injuries, the World Cup run-up has been a tough one for African Nations. Now the nation of South Africa mourns along with Nelson Mandela, as the former leader struggles with the loss of his great-granddaughter.

Kaka’s Way: I’ll forgive Kaka for being a member of one of Brazil’s most corrupt evangelical church’s, because let me tell you, his heart sure seems pure. And luckily for Brazil, so is his game.

South-Africa vs. Mexico Preview: The NYT looks at today’s World Cup opener. There’s always at least one African nation that makes some noise in the World Cup, and this year, why not the Home team?

NBA Finals

In a lackluster game, Boston’s second team totally took over the game in the second half, helping the Celtics tie the NBA Finals at 2-2 with a 96-89 victory over the Lakers. While much praise to Nate Robinson and Glenn Davis for their stellar Game 4 work, the Lakers go into the final game in Boston with one thing going for them – they’ve split two away games and Kobe Bryant hasn’t really shown up yet.

Politics

John McCain – Not a Learner: If there’s one thing John McCain didn’t learn in the 2008 election, it was that “common man” Joe the Plumber was one of the final straws of his failed campaign. Ah, screw it, maybe he’ll have better luck with “Jersey Shore” star Snooki.

Also: Rod Blagojevich – on trial, Obama not a music video star, Sarah Palin & faux feminism.

–WKW

William K. Wolfrum’s Morning – June 10, 2010

Some times you just have to rub the lion. More on this story (in Portuguese) here.

News

BP Spills on Wall Street: No one could have anticipated that spilling billions of millions of oil into the Gulf of Mexico could hurt your stock prices.

More Oil, Less News: Meanwhile, BP may have little luck stopping its oil geyser, but they are doing considerably better in slowing down news from the Gulf.

Autism Genes: Researchers find an autism gene. Skeptics say they’ll get excited when someone replicates their research.

Obama and the Democrats: A long-ish look at how Democrats could be affected by Obama’s Presidency.

Sports

Bradley’s The Man: At ESPN, Wayne Drehs takes a deeper look at U.S. National Team coach Bill Bradley, who knows he will be judged by what happens at the World Cup.

Chicago wins Stanley Cup: Yes, you’re asking “They still play the Stanley Cup?” Well yes they do, and Chicago won it for the first time in 49 years. If the Cubs win the World Series, I believe sports fans should demand an investigation into Barack Obama.

Reaching Out to Venezuela: The State Department applauds Armando Gallaraga’s class and sportsmanship in a minor “smile from across the room” bit of diplomacy with Venezuela.

Random Movie Review

Date Night: C -

You’ll see it because Tina Fey and Steve Carrell are in it, and that’s fine. But be aware, the premise drags down the action and humor like an anchor, and Fey and Carrell have the chemistry of BP CEO Tony Heyward and humanity. The two, however, do provide for enough laughs to make it watchable for fans.

Blogs

Joe.My.God.: Teacher gets married. School finds out she got pregnant before her marriage. Fires her. Theocratic Fascism ensues.

Alternet: Why are Americans the only ones that give Ayn Rand the time of day?

Truthdig: A look at Noam Chomsky’s latest work.

–WKW

Analysis: Is Lost Finale a harbinger of real life?

Like many, I watched the finale of the hit show Lost with much anticipation. Unlike many others, I take a very realistic view of the program.

Basically, I think we’re all dead.

Let me explain: In the finale of Lost, we learn that the alternate universe where they were residing is more of a limbo-type plane of existence. All were waiting to be “awoken” to their real existence, find peace with it, and move on, to heaven it appears.

So here’s what I’m saying: I think we all died during the Bush Administration. Now, that sounds REALLY far-fetched, I know, but think about it – it was the Bush Administration. It’s possible. He could have figured out a way.

Thus, I think we’re all stuck here until we are “awoken” and come to peace with what we’ve done to planet, how we’ve spread war across the globe, and that we elected George W. Bush twice.

And I think we’re going to be in this purgatory for a long time.

–WKW

Blogger starts writing about Muhammad, gets nervous, chokes

Nothing to see here.

–WKW

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