“The Cove” wins Oscar – Louie Psihoyos doesn’t get to talk dolphins

Last month, I got to speak with director Louie Psihoyos about his Oscar-nominated documentary “The Cove.” When asked about the possibility of winning an Academy Award, here’s what Psihoyos had to say:

“A billion people will see the Academy Awards,” said Psihoyos in a telephone interview. “That’s why I’d like to win. Because for 45 seconds you can talk directly to all the key people who are involved in these policies.”

Unfortunately, Producer Fisher Stevens – missing the point and a huge opportunity – gave the acceptance speech and never actually said the word “Dolphin.”

If you’re interested in helping to stop the horrifying murder of dolphins in Japan, here are some helpful links:

• What can you do to help?
• “The Cove” Official Web Site
• The Oceanic Preservation Society
• Save Japan Dolphins

Update: Courtesy of Entertainment Weekly, here is what Psihoyos had planned on saying:

The Long version of the world’s Shortest Oscar acceptance speech

By Louie Psihoyos, director of The Cove

- We made this film to give the oceans a voice.

- We told the story of The Cove because we witnessed a crime. Not just a
crime against nature, but a crime against humanity.

- We made this movie because through plundering, pollution and acidification from burning fossil fuels, ALL ocean life is in peril, from the great whales to plankton which, incidentally, is responsible for half the oxygen in this theater.

- Thank you, Black OPS Team for risking your lives in Japan — and thank you Academy for shining the brightest lights in the world on THE COVE……

- Japan, please see this movie! Domo Aragato!

–WKW

Jersey Shore 2: John Boehner is ‘The Situation’

JERSEY – MTV has announced a new cast for its hit show “Jersey Shore.” After seeing a group of unknown Italian Americans take the nation by storm and put “Guido and Guidette” into popular culture, this season, some of America’s top Conservatives will have everyone talking about “Cons and Conettes.”

Don’t miss Season 2 of Jersey Shore as John “The Situation” Boehner, Aaron “The Bachelor” Schock, Pam “P-Growwwl” Geller, Meghan “Snickers” McCain,” John “The Robber” Ensign and Rush “DJ Rush L” Limbaugh hit the beach and show to country that no one does douchebaggery like Conservatives!

–WKW

Readables

Because apparently other people write things on the Internet, as well:

• Newsweek: The government is tracking you through your cell phone. But, as long as you do nothing wrong, right?
• Talk Left: Why have a Supreme Court unless all they did was take away citizens’ rights?
• Pulse 2: If you haven’t got a Hummer yet, you may be running out of time.
• Columbia Journalism Review: Actually, editing a CJR article is much different than being a pen-for-hire for Scientologists.
• Joe. My. God.: They must have made some type of change in beauty contests, as now Miss Beverly Hills 2010, Lauren Ashley, says it’s God’s word that all Gays & Lesbians should die.
• Deadline Hollywood: Just when all appeared lost, we learn that Zoolander 2 is in the works.

–WKW

Avatar – The 3-Word Review

I’ve seen you.

–WKW

Louie Psihoyos: Oscar for ‘The Cove’ could save lives of dolphins

Louie Psihoyos wants to win an Academy Award. For the Director of the Oscar-nominated documentary “The Cove,” being nominated is great, but when the envelope is opened, he wants to hear his film called out. Mind you, Psihoyos doesn’t much care about the award itself (“I’d probably give it to the crew,” he said.), but he wants what he sees as the biggest benefit an Oscar offers – a massive audience.

“A billion people will see the Academy Awards,” said Psihoyos in a telephone interview. “That’s why I’d like to win. Because for 45 seconds you can talk directly to all the key people who are involved in these policies.”

What Psihoyos wants to talk about is the subject of his highly praised documentary – the wholesale slaughter of Dolphins in Taiji, Japan. But should “The Cove” not win the Oscar for Best Documentary, Psihoyos has already gotten the word out to millions about the formerly secret slaughter. And just this week, it was announced that the film will now be in front of people he knows can make the biggest difference – the people of Japan.

On Feb. 8, The Works International announced that “The Cove” had been acquired by Japanese distributor Medallion Media which is planning a tentative release date of April 2010 in Japan. Carl Clifton, Managing Director of The Works International, applauded Medallion for taking the film directly to the people of Japan.

“Many distributors screened the film and most decided it was simply too hot to handle even if they all felt it must be seen by the Japanese people,” said Clifton in a press release. “Medallion Media has shown real courage in acquiring ‘The Cove’ for Japan and we look forward to working with them on it.”

“The Cove” – which currently has an almost-unheard of 8.5 rating at The Internet Movie Database – highlights the annual, six-month slaughter of dolphins in Taiji. The dolphins are rounded up by fisherman, who use sonar and bang on long poles to frighten and herd the dolphins into a cove. After highly sought-after “show dolphins” – dolphins which will be taken captive and trained at Ocean parks like Sea World – are selected, the dolphins are then herded into a once-secret cove, where they are slaughtered. Each year, more than 20,000 dolphins are killed.

The actual cove where the dolphins are being slaughtered was a long-held secret by the Taiji and Japanese governments. But Psihoyos (“I probably watched too many James Bond movies as a kid,” he laughs”) put together his own “Ocean’s 11″ squad of filmmakers, divers and activists to penetrate the cove under the cover of darkness, hiding cameras and sound equipment throughout the area. The end result was video that is at once educating and blood-curdling.

But despite the video and the film, the killing continues.

“At the beginning of the year they stopped killing bottle-nose dolphins, but they have started the killing again,” said Psihoyos, who started the non-profit Oceanic Preservation Society in 2005.

The film follows former dolphin trainer Ric O’Barry, who trained the dolphins in the hit 1960s TV show “Flipper.” O’Barry has long felt a responsibility for the popularity of performing dolphins that took off following the TV Show, and sees his own fingerprints on the slaughter. Now the most prominent and tireless defender of dolphins, “The Cove” highlights his fight to free and save the intelligent mammals.

Aside from being a documentation of atrocities against dolphins, O’Barry’s fight for redemption, and the cloak-and-dagger operation, “The Cove” also showcases a problem for mankind – the massive elevation of mercury in the systems of sea mammals like dolphins and whales. The problem is showcased in Taiji, where the dolphins have been used as a food source, and where authorities attempted to get dolphin meat into schools across the nation.

“The whole town was mandated for being tested for mercury because of this movie,” said Psihoyos, 52. “They found that the males had 20 times more mercury in their blood and the women 10 times more than other Japanese people.”

Psihoyos said that thus far, even with the film, the Japanese government has been of no help to either the dolphins, or their own people.

“They are still in denial. They are still trying to hide behind the old tired excuses that it’s a tradition,” said Psihoyos, who resides in Boulder, Colo. “Well, this ‘tradition’ started in the 1930s. And their tradition is poisoning their own people.”

Which is why getting the movie in front of Japanese audiences is such a coup for the filmmaker. In a time when their government is experiencing the same economic crisis as the rest of the planet, the Japanese government is actually using tax payer money to keep the needless killing of dolphins going.

“If they just enforced their own laws, this problem would end,” said Psihoyos. “The Japanese people need to know they are subsidizing these people.”

Having already scaled the heights with his first film, Psihoyos is now working on what he calls a companion piece for “The Cove,” which will look at the degradation of the world’s ocean by humankind.

“To me we’re it’s like we’re living in a science-fiction nightmare we’re only beginning to understand,” said Psihoyos. “The oceans are getting increasingly acidic, and by the end of this century it will be impossible for coral reefs to even exist.”

But despite the harrowing subject matter, Psihoyos takes to his burgeoning film making and activism career with optimism. He can see things turning around with a new generation of Americans.

“I have an extreme amount of hope with the kids. They can read through the BS and see we’re destroying the environment,” said Psihoyos. “We’ve signed up nearly 1 million people already to help with this. I know people are getting engaged by this movie.”

So come Oscar night, Psihoyos will be in the audience, hoping to receive the Oscar for Best Documentary. But that won’t be the true prize he’s after.

“We’ve won a lot of awards. But I didn’t get in the business of making films to win awards. The real awards are to solve these problems,” said Psihoyos.

More on “The Cove”

• After learning the massive carbon footprint that making a film creates, Psihoyos made the second half of the film using only solar energy, including solar-powered vehicles.
• Psihoyos said the film has already drawn attention from the Japanese media. A recent trip to Taiji by O’Barry was covered by by a large contingent of Japanese media. “He was like a rock star,” said Psihoyos. At a Japanese film festival, Psihoyos said “We got more media coverage than “Avatar.”

Additional Reading

• What can you do to help?
• “The Cove” Official Web Site
• The Oceanic Preservation Society
• Save Japan Dolphins
• Louie Psihoyos Photography

–WKW

HuffPo as HuffPorn: NSFW photos, banana-eating models & me

When I wrote that I believed that The Huffington Post was “about eight minutes away from becoming a full-on masturbation magazine,” many chided me for over-the-top hyperbole.

“HuffPo is actually becoming very tabloidized–I seldom go there now. But the author defeats his point,”wrote a commenter on Daily Kos.

Not long after I published my post on the subject, Diane Tucker – fearless soul she is – wrote her own take on the subject – “Writer William K. Wolfrum Slams HuffPo For Becoming HuffPorn.”

Where did the post end up?

Check the bottom left. The story below the NSFW photos, banana-eating models and Vanessa Hudgen nude pic stories. I must remember to thank those at HuffPo for saving me from Hyperbole charges.

–WKW

Karl Rove to star in “The Bachelor”

59-year-old Karl Rove is out to prove to the world that nice guys finish last and that evil douchebags finish in love. Tighten your security and prepare to be politically mauled as this Republican Political Operative is ready to trash reputations and destroy lives as the Bachelor.

Known as “Turdblossom” to his friends and “Asshole” to everyone else, Karl Rove grew up in Sparks, Nevada and attended the University of Utah. He discovered his passion for destroying his political opposition early, as he started his political career in high school. As an accomplished plotter, he became part of the Republican Party at the age of 19. In his free time, he has fun torturing kittens and finding new ways to oppress minorities.

Now, if you’re thinking this guy looks familiar, you’d be right. Ever since Karl shared a magical date with The Decider, George W. Bush, millions of Conservatives have had their own low-down, disturbing fantasies about him. Basically a demon in human form with a strong reputation as a dishonest creep with the heart of Gorgon bile, fans weren’t stunned in the least when he joined the propaganda arm of the GOP, Fox News.

Requests for him to be the next Bachelor didn’t come in, at all. But he has incriminatory pictures of top executives at the network, so here we are. Karl, who believes marriage is a sacred institution, is coming off the fairytale experience of his second divorce. This divorce gave him motivation to continue his search for love on The Bachelor. Only this time, it’s his turn to call the shots.

Karl longs to find that special someone who is vapid, moronic, mentally unstable and doesn’t shave. He wants someone who he can take to parties and who doesn’t think much. He also admits that he can’t wait for his third marriage – and divorce. To make things even more exciting and to take advantage of Conservatives’ notoriously loose morals, this year many of the Bachelorettes will already be married. This promises to be one of the most exciting and horrifyingly disturbing seasons ever!

Will Karl slither off into the underbrush with one of the Bachelorettes waiting in a pile of excement? One thing we know for sure is that there will be 25 candidates and at least 24 horrifyingly defeated and besmirched losers once the 15th edition of The Bachelor takes to the air on Monday, July 4, 2010 on ABC!

–WKW

Chris Matthews: “I forgot Prince & Paris Jackson were black”

During last night’s Grammy Awards, Michael Jackson’s children Paris and Prince Jackson accepted a Lifetime Achievement Award on behalf of their late father, in what was easily the most moving moment of the show.

“We are proud to be here to accept this award on behalf of our father, Michael Jackson,” said Prince. “First of all, we’d like to thank God for watching over us for the past seven months. And our grandmother and grandfather for their love and support. We would also like to thank the fans. Our father loved you so much because you were always there for him.”

Later in the evening on MSNBC, political and cultural commentator Chris Matthews said that for just a moment, he forgot that the two were Black.

“I was trying to think about who they were tonight … It’s interesting. They are post-racial, by all appearances … I forgot they were black tonight,” said Matthews.

While some were appalled by Matthews’ statement, others gave him a pass.

“I’m sure he just messed up,” said Grammy winner Taylor Swift. “Who’s Chris Matthews, anyway?”

–WKW

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie must break up – for America

While the better part of the United States has tumbled into disarray with the fighting of multiple wars, war crimes, high unemployment and a completely screwed up financial sector, Hollywood has done very little to help out the nation. Sure, they’ve made movies and done some stupid things, but the U.S. is in desperate need of a BIG story to take their short attention spans away from the carnage.

This is why it’s vital for Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie to break up. Preferably in the most acrimonious way possible, and with as much mention as Jennifer Aniston as they can muster.

Now, let me just state that I hold no animosity toward or, for that matter, even care about Pitt, Jolie & children. But the moment for their break up is now. As hard-working Americans struggle to find work, or pay their medical expenses, or to live after getting a Taliban bullet in the forehead, now more than ever is the time we need Hollywood to come through.

Americans are, by and large, a good, service-minded type of people. But for the most part, we Americans have the memory spans of single-celled creatures. This is why a Pitt-Jolie split would truly comfort the American people. The wall-to-wall-to-wall coverage such a split would create would banish all other news to obscure Web sites or PBS. Only the direct return of Jesus Christ would garner as much attention, and he doesn’t seem overly interested in getting involved.

So here’s to the crumbling relationship of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. The U.S. mainstream media is anxiously awaiting the break-up, as they aren’t exactly overly fond of reporting bad news. The American people are anxiously awaiting, as well, as living vicariously through other people’s dramas is our true national pastime. A Pitt-Jolie split would wipe the slate clean. We would be reborn into a world where only they mattered. Pitt-Jolie would be the only thing worth talking about.

Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt must break up. And soon. For America.

–WKW

Just don’t

Please don’t …

… leave $1 million worth of stuff in your car, like Usher.

… get too clever with a “Got Milk” ad with Rebecca Romijn.

… let Harold Ford fool you.

… eat too much salt.

… pay attention to the Dutch.

… try and pretend you’re Amish.

… forget Haiti.

–WKW

Martin Eisenstadt mocks me? Fine, I’ll put his book online

As the world’s foremost expert on Martin Eisenstadt, I’ve done quite a bit of snooping around to learn more about his upcoming book, “One Man’s Wildly Inapproriate Adventures with the Last Republicans.”

Now, first of all, the title of the book is much better than what it was originally: “One Man’s Barely Legal Adventures with the Last Republicans” (seriously).

Secondly, using my vast Internet detective skills, I found some of the pre-released book. As normal, Eisenstadt is fairly clueless and left it hanging around his site. And let me tell you, this book could be a political bombshell, as it names name: Sarah Palin, Rachael Ray, the Jonas Brothers, Miley Cyrus, Britney Spears, Bobby Jindal, Dick Cheney to name a few.

Of course, Eisenstadt got a shot in at me: “And who is this “Wolfrum,” the supposed golf blogger based in Brazil, who since May 2008 has been lobbing absurd online accusations against me?”

Find out more about the book and about Martin Eisenstadt’s bizarre past by clicking here (note, it’s a PDF). Of course, the book comes out on Tuesday. I’m hoping to have the whole book online by then, however.

–WKW

To save America, Levi Johnston must reveal his wang

My friends, never before in my lifetime have I witnessed an America so divided. Republicans fighting Democrats. Libertarians fighting environmentalists. Whigs not fighting anyone but just happy to be mentioned.

This is why President Barack Obama comes under such criticism. He was elected under the false hope that he’d invite the economy over for a beer and have it leave a bull market behind. But Obama does not have all the answers, nor the ability to turn thing around. In fact, no man has the ability to turn this great nation around. Except one. Levi Johnston.

You see, according to our friends at Towleroad, “The adult website StraightCollegeMen.com has made an offer to Levi Johnston following his statement last week that he’d pose nude for the right price.” Basically, the site is offering Johnston $25k to masturbate, an activity that normally pays him $25k less than that.

My friends, upon seeing this news, a cosmic truth struck me – Levi Johnston’s wang could truly save this nation.

Yes, I believe that Americans of all stripes are ready to come together as one, united under the wang of Johnston. Levi’s wang will bring us altogether as one. And with each stroke of his magnificent manhood, our patriotism to build up, spurting to glorious heights and leaving us all breathless with ecstasy. Then we’ll nap.

But in all seriousness, nothing could conceivably showcase the utter stupidity of our political landscape than having a guy who less than a year ago was showcase during the RNC Convention now make a whack vid. It just brings it all together.

So, my friends, let us all get behind Levi and push him toward a total wang revelation followed by a round of self-love. Levi Johnston’s naked, videotaped wang will heal us. How is not important. Just know that Levi’s naked wang flesh will save us all. Trust me.

Update: America Wins! Levi to pose for Playgirl!
–WKW

Tom DeLay vows to become “permanent majority” on Dancing with the Stars

Tom Delay, known to fans of politics as the “Republican Who Quit Before Sarah Palin made it cool,” has announced he will take full advantage of his new role as a ballroom dancer on the hit show “Dancing with the Stars.”

“Everyone knows this isn’t about dancing,” said DeLay, who announced that all his winnings will go to his charity. “This competition is about American values. Real American values like dancing and creationism.”

DeLay, who earned his spot on the popular show with insider dealings, said the show will once again put Republicans on top of the heap.

“I’m no dancer,” said DeLay, who announced he will be pushing for a complete redistricting of “Dancing with the Stars” regional voting strategies, and that he will use any and all power he has to “keep an eye” on opponents. “But what really matters is that people see me, the man. I am a Republican and I will win. Nothing else matters in the least to us.”

–WKW

Arnold Schwarzenegger – if you can’t govern, wave a big-ass knife around

Arnold Schwarzenegger – a big man, a big knife, and no ability to govern:

That’s just disturbing.

HT Gawker

–WKW

Random Thought on Random Thing: Miked

A 12-word review of the new Michael Ian Black / Michael Showalter show, Michael & Michael Have Issues: One of the least bad docudramas of the summer on Comedy Central.

–WKW

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