William K. Wolfrum Chronicles

In December, BBC World Affairs Correspondent Paul Reynolds wrote an article detailing the life and death of the Project for the New American Century, as well as the death of the neo-conservative movement.

The ambitions proclaimed when the neo-cons’ mission statement “The Project for the New American Century” was declared in 1997 have turned into disappointment and recriminations as the crisis in Iraq has grown.

“The Project for the New American Century” has been reduced to a voice-mail box and a ghostly website. A single employee has been left to wrap things up.

The idea of the “Project” was to project American power and influence around the world.

You pull two thoughts out of the article. Either the PNAC crowd - Cheney, Rumsfeld, Wolfowitz, Abrams, Libby, Podheretz, Gaffney and others - are naive to the point of literally being mentally stunted, or that they are despicably evil. And one would be hard pressed to call Cheney naive on any issue.

Because, from what Reynolds wrote, it’s truly impossible to believe that a group of adults could convey that they truly believed this:

They predicted the development of democratic values in a region lacking in them and, in that way, the removal of any threat to the United States just as the democratisation of Germany and Japan after World War II had transformed Europe and the Pacific.

So you have two choices: They were all a bunch of cockeyed optimists, or they are, in fact, just being more upfront about following the normal course of action - complete U.S. world domination. And while neo-cons like Gary Schmitt will say that the U.S. was turning “neo-isolationist” or whatever rhetoric, nothing backs that up. The real problem was that the U.S. likely just wasn’t being imperialistic enough, especially as far as the Middle East was concerned.

Because with a staggering 737 military bases across the globe, and with a $592 million, mega-embassy going up in Iraq, leaders of the United States have been very clear in their actions for decades now - keep your markets open, let us put a facility in your nation and every thing will be cool, if not expect military action. The PNAC crowd just had the hubris to publish it all on a Web site.

And regardless of whether the “pundits” and “policymakers” admit to their wrong doings, or just lie about whether they wanted war, like Michael Ledeen, the fact is, they still believe in what they preached leading up to invading Iraq, and they still believe they’re winning.

And they’re right. No matter what public sentiment is, and no matter how fringe and reckless the neo-cons appear now, their road map is still being followed.

“The (American Enterprise Institute), which has become the natural home for refugees from the American Project, is promoting an article entitled: ‘Choosing Victory: A Plan for Success in Iraq’,” wrote Reynolds in December 2006. “The article calls not for a withdrawal of US troops but for an increase. President Bush’s decision is expected in early January.”

And guess who got their way? The warmongers, as they almost always do in the United States at least since World War II. Because it is never about U.S. security, and it’s never been about defending the nation. It has been about imperialism and, over the last four decades, it’s been about authoritarianism, as well.

Perhaps the hubris the PNACians showed will eventually be the true end of them, but for now, they are still thriving, and still calling the shots. As always.

–WKW

I spent a good chunk of my twenties as a commercial fisherman in Alaska. It’s one of those things that appears fantastic in hindsight - steaming out of Dutch Harbor, wind blowing through my hair, muscles rippling, etc.

In reality, of course, it was a hellish collection of freezing 18-hour work days, surrounded by fish. Overall, an interesting thing to have in your past. At the time, though, it more or less sucked.

One thing those days taught me is that when scientists claim that the world could be out of fish in 40 years, they aren’t just hysterical eco-bedwetters. Even then, more than a decade ago, one was told about the decline of fish in the Bering Sea. And one could see how man abused the sea.

I particularly remember my first trip. Three months on a trawler, which was three months too many. We’d send a huge net down deep in the ocean and scoop up everything available. We fished mainly for mackerel, but the seasons were limited. On the day that mackerel season closed, we went in search of Pacific Ocean Perch (POP).

POP is a red fish, very easy to differentiate from mackerel. The first time we dropped the net for the start of POP season, we pulled up a full net of fish. Full of mackerel. As mackerel season had been closed, we weren’t allowed to keep any of them.

It took us just two hours to process the net of fish that day, as we sent 20,000 pounds of dead mackerel back into the ocean. The boat was filled with depressed young fishermen, wondering what the hell they were doing out there. It was an extremely sad day.

I was thinking about those days recently, more to the point, thinking of the Japanese guys I worked with out there on longliners (after my trawler experience, I worked the rest of my time out there on longliners, which are much less wasteful). You see, a Japanese company owned 49 percent (the most allowed) of our company, and always had several workers on board.

I was thinking of Nakasuka, in particular. He was a hardworking guy, who was as old then as I am now, about 40. While not a big fan of Americans in particular, Nakasuka (Suka, for short) would take a liking to anyone, provided they worked hard enough. We worked together for the better part of three years, and got along well, despite not understanding each other’s language.

What struck me as I thought about Suka was this - he’s out there. Right now. Because that’s what he is - a fisherman.

It was part of the reason the Japanese we worked with tended to dislike Americans. Because while the trite phrase of “They hate us for our freedoms” is a load of crap when discussing terrorists, it was partly true on a fishing boat. The Americans there were destined to leave the boat to try other things. The Japanese were fisherman for life.

The translator on board (we had a total crew of less than 40, and the translator also was a worker) told me once that for these Japanese men, being a fisherman was honorable. The culture itself was one that mainly cared about money - the only way for you to be successful was to make a lot of it. But fisherman were respected, even though they weren’t rich. They brought home the food.

But they were definitely jealous. We could come and go as we pleased, but their lives were mapped out, and had been for a long time.

Even then I knew I eventually wanted to be a writer or a journalist at some point, and I sit here now with those things as my job description. While Nakasuka is floating on the Bering Sea, still.

Because Americans are free. In our culture, we still make our own paths, rather than having them built for us, as Suka had. Since then, however, Japanese culture has changed somewhat dramatically. The young have more choices and opportunity. Suka missed out on that, but his children likely haven’t.

Because cultures change. Sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse. What’s important for Americans, however, is to hold on to the one thing that we always hearken to - freedom. But as U.S. culture changes, and freedom becomes more and more attached to wealth, and freedoms become under appreciated, we need to fight to keep our rights as free men.

Was my time as a fisherman a wasted time of a wasted youth? To a point. But it was my choice, my decision, my experience. The pain and the cold and the wet have slowly left my mind, but the memories and lessons remain.

The main lesson was that I’ve been free to do whatever I’ve wanted, just about anywhere I wanted. That was the blessing, and I can only hope that future U.S. generations have the same freedom to have interesting experiences, or even make outlandish mistakes. Because cultures change. And not always for the better.

–WKW

I want to be that naive third-grader again. The one that proudly stood up in class and recited the Pledge of Allegiance with everyone. The one who couldn’t get enough of hearing that the United States was the greatest nation on Earth.

I want to be agog again at George Washington’s masterful moves in the Revolutionary War. I want to continue to think of the U.S. Constitution as the greatest document in the world, rather than hear so-called “patriots” moronically slam it as a “suicide pact” while trying to destroy it.

I want to continue to think I was from a nation that made the world better, rather than a nation that only cared about staying on top. I want to come from the Greatest nation on Earth, not just the strongest.

I want to be from a nation run by real men with vision, knowledge and thoughtfulness, rather than by businessmen willing to sell out everything to make themselves more wealthy.

I want the blood of millions off my hands. I want to be naive again.

–WKW

In 1983, Karen Carpenter taught many a young girl a lesson. The talented singer, who had battled anorexia for years, died at the age of 33 from a weakened heart.

Many were touched by Carpenters’ death, with many seeing the dangers of anorexia first hand. These days, the lesson of Carpenter has been forgotten, as stars like Nicole Richie opt for a skeletal look that can only be achieved by abusing oneself.

Actresses like Richie, Lindsay Lohan, Mary-Kate Olsen and countless others have obviously made a conscious decision - in order to be taken seriously, you can’t have body fat. And that includes having breasts or an ass.

The anorexic look gets very little scrutiny in today’s press. The most you’ll get is attempts to get stars to admit they have an eating disorder, which they deny. Of course, they all have some type of disorder, whether eating or otherwise. Because hunger is not something that should be celebrated, but fought.

So I propose that is time for a modern celebrity to take Carpenter’s place. We need a Richie or Olsen, or Lohan or one of their disturbed ilk to die of starvation. Literally die. This is their only real chance of adding something to humanity - by becoming a cautionary tale.

Because of these celebrities, the world has a huge population of females who have no idea what it means to be healthy. For young girls, fitting in is what matters, and when they see shoulder blades protruding from their favorite female stars, they think that’s what beauty is.

This is not beauty. It’s sickness. And celebrities throughout the world are fighting to promote this sickness. So with young girls fighting for their lives and their health, it’s time for these disturbingly thin celebrities to do the right thing. Something that will help show their fans the true face of anorexia.

Just die already.

–WKW

It has become the great weapon of the right, the Neo-con, and the generally unintelligent, that every time someone strikes back at their attack on human decency, they claim intolerance. The idea being that if they are intolerant on almost all issues, the opposition should be tolerant of all issues.

Fuck them. Doesn’t work that way.

Accuse me of being intolerant all you like, it makes no difference to me. The warmongers and curmudgeons have no fear of me creating laws to shut them up. That’s their domain. But I have no tolerance for them on an intellectual basis, and feel they deserve to be ignored. And many others feel the same. We don’t need laws or bands of thugs to shut them up.

Our lack of lenience over their lack of humanity will do the job. Let them strive to take the world back to the Middle Ages. In the end, our intolerance and evolution won’t be denied.

–WKW

An attack on Iran, whether only an air assault or full-on attack, has long been certain. Aside from the endless evidence that appears, one need only look further than George W. Bush’s love of Jesus.

Bush supports Intelligent Design. Simply put, this means the President of the United States believes the Earth was created 6,000 years ago by God. The Christian God.

Our President believes that. It helped him stop being a drunk. For getting him sober, he now will slay all of his God’s enemies.

And this means that war on Iran is certain. War on Syria is likely. And war on anyone who hasn’t accepted Jesus Christ as their personal savior is a possibility.

George Bush doesn’t need Congress to start a war. He doesn’t need public support. He doesn’t need anything. Bush answers only to Jesus, and to people like that, any other belief is a “battle of existence.” Bush has Jesus in his heart. Which means a hell of a lot more Middle Eastern civilians should be dying by the end of 2007.

–WKW

Someone is heralding the finding of the movie “Pirates of Silicon Valley” on YouTube.com at Digg, and the conversation worked it’s way to file-sharing, as it’s prone to:

DannyChico:

Amazing. 50+ posts and only one person has the guts to point out that posting or watching this movie online is illegal.

The response, about an hour after:

DDoSAttack:

Just because it is “illegal” today doesn’t mean it will be tomorrow. Not all laws are good laws. Remember not to long ago it was illegal for women and black people to vote. It was also illegal to create, posses and/or consume alcohol. Oh and being accused of being a “witch” was an offense that required burning at the stake… just to make sure that you were not in fact a witch.

If we as a community have anything to say about it, media such as this won’t be “illegal” to watch on sites such as YouTube for long

This is why I feel confident that the Internet will be sticking around for some time and that technology will continue to thrive. The Geeks and their supporters are much too spastic, over-the-top, overdramatic and downright insane in their shrill attempts to stave of the opposition. They are willing to go as far as need be to save their toys. I mean, think about it:

Illegal for women and black people to vote = Watching Pirates of Silicon Valley on YouTube

Mark this down: Hyperbolic geeks will be America’s next Neocons. This type of dedication and ridiculousness tells me one thing: The geek shall inherit the Earth.

–WKW

I suppose it’s easy to get the idea that you are in some grand, history-shaping battle between good and evil when your leaders spend such a great deal of their public time fervently shrieking that you are involved in a grand, history-shaping battle between good and evil.

Here’s the thing, however - you’re not.

You see, just like people who believe that they were great warriors or historic figures in past lives are deluded, so are the “Epic Battle of Civilizations” or “Epic Battle for Civilization” folks. It is a great mind game doled out and eagerly consumed by those that feel impotent, in order to give their lives some meaning and direction.

Basically, the “Epic Battle of Civilizations” has become a new religion.

If you’re reading this and shocked at the naivety of the author, try doing this: crack open a history book. Go to any year, from the dawn of mankind. Whether you think man began 40,000 or 6,000 years ago is of no concern. Now, quick - point to a year, month, day, or moment, where peace reigned supreme around the globe. You can’t.

Whether Christians, communists, fascists, Nazis, Muslims, etc., there has always been an evil in the world that - if somehow unchecked - will either slay or enslave us all, according to the masses. For Muslim nations now, the U.S. is that great evil. Because their masses are as deluded as ours and also have visions of immense self-importance. Like many in the West, they feel they are embroiled in a history-altering moment in time.

They’re not. Neither are you. The “Epic Battle of Civilizations” can be defined in one word: narcissism.

What the world’s population is involved in now is what the world’s population has always been involved in. Like always, we are riding the interests of our leaders, nothing more. And the leaders on both sides are simultaneously good and evil.

So just keep that in mind if you start believing you are in an “Epic Battle.” You’re not. In the history of civilization, you are not even a comma. Deal with it. The “epic battle” will proceed in the minds of many until this planet shakes us all off of it. Think about it - every last generation has had its own “epic battle” thrust on it by, or due to the world’s leaders. Shouldn’t that tell you something?

An “Epic Battle of Civilizations?” Please. Stop thinking so highly of yourself.

–WKW

As an American, I’m used to having the right to shout into the void. And as many other Americans have found out, I’m used to being ignored, heckled and marginalized for expressing myself, as well. It’s the new American way - you have the right to free speech, but your speech better be status quo, or you’re an easily-ignoredand despised, fringe whacko.

So it was with quite a bit of interest I read a recent comment to my blog from someone who likely looks at freedom of speech differently than I — a 15-year-old Saudi Arabian girl.

“First of all, I want to thank you for you’re courageous writing, I truly admire that courage in you, it’s been really nice reading what you’ve wrote,” wrote Maram, who went on to give her opinions on how she views U.S. President George W. Bush as well as how she feels those in her country view him.

Maram’s comment showed to me that all of us out here shouting away need to keep doing it. When you’re used to having the right to speak, it is not courageous to say what you think - but it shows courage to continue to speak your mind when you know the words will often be met so often with contempt, or more likely ennui.

More importantly, however, when a teen-age Saudi girl is joining the conversation and showing what courage really is, it shows us that we need to continue shouting into the void. Because the void is listening.

–WKW

This essay is conforming dementia, a logical true slice of realism, an inner swell of righteousness on how the oppressors will continue on their merry way.

We will hear rumors of our ultra-masculine sons being sodomized in our schools, sporting arenas, churches and truck stops, where men should be in a safe heterosexual environment. We will cast blame where it belongs - on everyone and everything other than our sons. They will be recast in our image. They will fear you and destroy you.

Our women will re-learn their place in this great country. They will be satisfied by our minutes of love and our disinterest in their non-masculine thoughts. Only we can please a woman in this way. We will give them children and they will raise them after we leave. Only we understand the real needs of a woman, and we will commit our undying, singular love to as many as we are able.

All homosexuals will be systematically destroyed because this is God’s will. We will change the laws all the way to the constitution to make you irrelevant. We will hold a multitude of meetings amongst thousands of our most prominent, creating laws that the righteous must live by and destroy your well-thought-out agenda.

All heterosexuals will continue standing together, united in our righteousness. We will triumph only when we have destroyed those whose perversions are allowed out of their bedrooms.

We will call you faggot, fairy, queer, and dehumanize you, as is our right under the watchful eye of Jesus Christ.

We shall boycott and mock your artistic endeavors. We will watch your lackluster television shows and cinematic creations and burst into morality-inspired violence. And then we will watch them again. We will build statues of leaders such as George W. Bush, Ronald Reagan and Jesse Helms, and you will cower beneath their innate manliness.

We will look at your efforts to validate your perverted lifestyle with disdain. Your depictions of your choice of lifestyle will be mocked and held against you. We will chuckle at your wit when seen from afar. When it stares us in the face we will explode in irrational violence.

We will send those of you stupid enough to flaunt your choice of perversion back into your secure closets. We will accuse any who accept you as human as one of you. We will joke openly about you. You will be taken out of our ranks via legislation and hatred. Our beds will be cleansed.

There will be no compromises. You are middle-class weaklings. Our scientists will show that you are a mistake. The word of our God claims you to be an abomination, and we will grasp tightly any finding to show the truth of his word. You will flee our natural heterosexuality.

Your armies will implode in nit-picking and emotional turmoil, as is your way. You will band together and hide in a non-existent homeland. Your immorality and perversions will sit you next to Satan along with the Jews, Muslims and all who defy the rightful God of this great nation.

The family unit will continue unabated. Our divorce rates will continue to soar because our natural, righteous outlook cannot support the love of just one human and the responsibility it entails. Your attempts to create your own family unit encased in perverted love will be outlawed, as is God’s will.

Our churches will thrive because God lives in them. Your minions who have infiltrated God’s house will be ignored, and their victims paid off. Your efforts to defile our God will never see the light of day.

Our society will continue unabated. Power will be held by the select few of us whom God decrees. Indulgence and art will be destroyed. You, like shellfish, are an abomination of the lord. All males who defy God and the natural order of his 6,000-year universe will be destroyed. Only then will we begin feeding on ourselves, abolishing those who have the temerity to have unclean thoughts.

You will be written out of history, because you have made no advances toward the civilization God has requested. The films of Geffen and others of your despicable ilk will be shelved. Navratilova and any so-called athlete will have their records stripped from them. The music of The Who will be burned. The entire fashion industry will be eliminated along with male figure skating. You have offered us nothing, and that is where you will live.

We will be victorious because that is God’s will. You will be oppressed continually until you are no longer. We have learned hard lessons from the plight of the black man and of women. We will no longer allow a foothold to the unclean or undeserving. This is God’s war, not only ours. Our public servants understand God’s laws, and those that don’t will be arrested and murdered. We will hate you because you are not like us and we fear you. We hate you much more than the Muslims or Hitlers of this world. We will never admit it, but they have the right ideas. Any revolution will end with us victorious.

Tremble, faggots, when we rip your masks off, eliminate you and bathe in God’s glory.

–WKW
(With a thank you to Michael Swift and the Gay Community News)

If ever there was one moment that changed the direction of a nation, it was George Allen’s macaca moment. It was a moment that encapsulated everything that was wrong with the GOP. And while no one can say if that cost him the election or cost the GOP the Senate, one thing is clear to me - it cost Allen the election and cost the GOP the Senate.

Yes, there he was, George Allen, one-time chosen one, at a rally staring down at a young Indian-American, and as casually as could be, as if no one would either know or deny him this right, Allen started calling him a monkey and started humiliating him publicly. It was shameful and hard to watch.

“Welcome to America and the real world of Virginia,” Allen told the dark-skinned student filming the event for the eventual winner of the Senate race, Jim Webb.

But make no mistake about it, that’s what the GOP had become. From George W. Bush poking Matt Lauer in the chest or waving his arms angrily whenever anyone asked him a tough question; to Rush Limbaugh openly mocking a much-loved and Parkinson’s stricken actor in Michael J. Fox; to Ann Coulter mocking 9/11 victims; to Dick Cheney and Don Rumsfeld snarling at anyone who would not accept their endless lies; to the Jack Abramoff situation; to a Congress held hostage and sharply veering toward a dictatorial attitude and so much more — what Allen did was make it impossible to overlook — these were bad people that flown off the edge of normal, American discourse.

Some will get what’s coming to them. Bush and much of his team should expect to spend the next two years being investigated on a score of issues, and rightly so. Time will tell if the Democratic party can handle the job that’s been put in front of them. Will they maturely work toward resurrecting a system that has become corrupted beyond rational belief? Or will they go hell-bent for revenge and only exacerbate the problems of the U.S. government?

Time will tell. Only one thing is certain - the world now can look at the U.S. again and not see Americans as completely out-of-touch, narcissistic enemies of the planet. They can see that Americans are not all reckless cowboys, intent on enriching corporations and going on imperialistic sprees. Americans can still do what’s right.

And we have a racist ex-Senator from Virginia who couldn’t hide his true self to thank for it.

–WKW

Welcome to the latest installment of “Things I love”

I love the fact that the PNAC party was ushered into power on generalizatiins, half-truths, rumors and innuendos, and now they are aghast that they may be getting sent out the very same way.

Because there’s a chance terrorist islamofascists will come take over the U.S. and enslave you.

And there’s a chance Mark Foley and other Republicans have been banging your children like they were $2 whores.

Now choose.

–WKW

Here in Brazil, the most popular colors for clothing are green and yellow. You see people wearing shirts emblazoned with “Brasil” all day long. Everyone owns their own replica of the national soccer team’s jersey.

People here adore Brazil.

The average Brazilian, however, believes that their government is a bunch of crooks, to be treated with suspicion, and with the knowledge that they will eventually screw the general population.

People here hate their government.

They are not considered “anti-Brazilian” for hating their government, however. I get the impression things are that way in most nations, actually, with at very least citizens remaining constantly wary of those that serve them.

Strange how that’s not at all the way things are in the United States, where if you don’t love the “State” then you must hate the country and all it stands for.

Strange.

–WKW

One of the great things I’ve learned being in a South American country is this - the liberal, or more socialist political party always has the advantage. The more poor the country, the more true this seems to be.

In Brazil, Lula will run away with his second term as president by pandering to the poor. The same is true in regards to Hugo Chavez, Evo Morales and the other leftist leaders down these parts.

Now, in these countries, the general populace is extremely poor. So really, whenever a politician does something for them, they will gladly give them their vote. In the U.S., people aren’t as poor, but I truly believe democrats have a natural advantage as people always want something for nothing. The margin of error is closer, however, therefore, if the more conservative party can come up with a solid schtick, they can even the odds.

In the U.S., that schtick is obviously fear. That it works so well is truly amazing. How many of us know people that are educated and erudite, yet seem to have a deep belief that we are in a great “War of Civilizations” and that if we do not go on a constant attack, give up civil rights and our national soul, then everyone in the U.S. will be forced to bow to Mecca and speak Arabic?

That it makes no sense whatsoever is of no concern to them. They truly believe that some nation-less groups, without armies, and for the most part with divergent goals, are going to come to the U.S., defeat the country and take over.

And for those that think that way, the fact that many of us know that this is a ludicrous thought does not mean we want to lay down all arms and warmly allow crazed religous types to come take over. Not everything is black and white, you see. But the fact is, Israel, surrounded by nations that despise it and would love to see them removed from the Earth, still stands. They are vigilant, but they are not insane.

Yet, an ocean removed, many in the U.S. have gone insane. Because a political party has made them that way.

In the end, that’s all it is. We have given our basic common sense over to politicians, and they have run with it. And here’s the thing:

Politicians don’t care about you. Not even a little bit. They just want to remain in, or achieve power. If that means giving you some meal vouchers, fine. If it means terrifying you with boogie men and sending your sons to their deaths in meaningless wars, fine. Whatever it takes. Left and right meet in the middle when it comes to achieving and/or maintaing power.

A country is made up of its people. A nation is not its government and the people that run it. And until people start demanding their government work for them, then they will continue to be abused by politicans and others whose only concerns is their own power.

There are no politicans out there to save us. That is our job.

–WKW

I’m not gay, but I’ve seen plenty of gay people on TV, and let me tell you, I like what I see.

So when I happened upon the site Nervous Breakdown (”Dictae of a New York City-ensconced worried gay”), I happily gulped down what he had to offer (It’s freeing to make gay innuendos). And let me tell you, the guy is a fun blogger who cheerfully spreads the snark thickly enough that you need a special snark-cleaning appliance to clean it off your screen.

I mean, where else would you find “Super Mario on Ice?”

Anyway, I followed NB to another site of his, which may in fact be the second-greatest site of all time, “The Blair Necessities.” It’s a blog that mocks what is obviously the greatest site of all time, LisaWhelchel.com.

Yes, the former Facts of Life bitchy bombshell has her own Web site, and lo and behold, she is Christian with an intensity that likely has Christ himself hinting at her to cool it. The site itself is mesmerizing, including information on her book “Taking Care of the Me in Mommy” (where’s the “confused yet delighted and horrified” emoticon when you need it?), among other things.

By far though, the best part of the site, and the part that the Blair Necessities focuses on, is the “Coffee Talk” section.

Here’s a little taste of what the complexly devout Whelchel has to say these days, filtered through “Blair Necessities, Coffee Talk Companion” of course:

Lisa Whelchel: What prompted me to write this was thinking about how each church denomination I’ve attended, five in all, have all had such a distinctly profound influence on my life and ministry. I can see God’s hand so evidently as He has used the different bodies of believers to shape me into who I am today.

Blair Necessities: We can see God’s hand, too, believe it or not. Right now it’s shoving itself down God’s throat. You know, this is the first time we’ve ever really felt bad for God. Like, really.

It’s truly fantastic stuff, the perfect thing for you when you feel your head is about to explode watching Team Bush plot to save the world by killing Iranians as well as Iraqians and anyone else lighter that Whelchel’s defiantly hyper-white husband.

The best part is, we can openly mock Whelchel, and the worst we’ll get from it is prayers from her. It’s totally win-win. I imagine she’s spent many an hour trying to pray the Snarky Gayness Demon off our friend at Nervous Breakdown, but it doesn’t appear to be taking. Which is truly a victory for us all.

Lisa Whelchel: Because without
Christ, she’d be doing soft-porn
lesbo scenes with Alyssa Milano.

–WKW