Wolfrumisms: Santorum out, Romney gaffe in 3 … 2 … 1 …
April 10, 2012
Today, Rick Santorum dropped out of the GOP race for the Presidency. History has taught us that tomorrow will bring us an incredibly stupid gaffe on the part of Mitt Romney and/or his team of advisors.
–WKW
Wolfrum Theory: Can’t we all just get along and stay away from large groups of Black people?
April 7, 2012
Can’t we, as a united nation, all come together as one and avoid large congregations of Black people? Come on, people, we did it before.
–WKW
Sarah Palin’s Choice
April 2, 2012
Following the 2008 RNC Convention, a giant window opened for Sarah Palin. Had she chosen to go through that window and dedicate herself to becoming a better and more accomplished politician, the sky was truly the limit. But Sarah Palin chose to be ridiculous.
–WKW
The Conservative Male has a Google problem
April 2, 2012
While Rick Santorum’s problems with Google have been well documented, leaving us all feeling slimy, the fact is that the “Conservative Male” has trouble with Google. Heck, just Google “Conservative Male,” with or without quotation marks. My favorite is the fourth entry. Sort of brings it all together.
–WKW
Newt Gingrich explains why he won’t quit running for President
March 28, 2012
–WKW
Your average Right-Wing radio host
March 21, 2012
They talk tough and all, but …
–WKW
Rick Santorum declares War on the Wheel, fire & sliced bread
March 20, 2012
Coming off an impressive showing in Southern states, Rick Santorum is now looking to double-down on his conservative bona fides this week. After earlier stating that he would work to eliminate all pornography from America, Santorum has now come out and stated that such modern conveniences as the wheel, sliced-bread and fire all have to be banned, as well.
“During my travels, I meet many Americans who long for a simpler, more devout time,” said Santorum. “That’s why my Presidency will be about taking America back to the Year 2 or so and giving people true freedom.”
Santorum stated that such modern conveniences as the wheel, fire and sliced-bread have made Americans a weak, sweater-vest-wearing people who cannot do simple things like walk to work and eat raw food on unsliced bread.
Santorum said that a hungrier, colder America where everyone has to walk wherever they go while slicing their own bread will help the economy and put the U.S. Back on the path of Jesus – who reportedly hated wheels and fire, and would have been just appalled by sliced bread.
Santorum also showed he is willing to use his conservative outlook to help solve America’s health care crisis.
“I hear some good things about leeches,” said Santorum.
–WKW
City to use the homeless as public toilets, trash cans
March 13, 2012
While much attention goes to the United States’ huge national debt, few spend time understanding the debt some cities are dealing with and the steps needed to take to balance these smaller but vital coffers.
Newly homeless child Angela Angelson is unhappy she will be used as a toilet and trash can.
In cities like Needles, Calif. – which has a population of 15,000 and a debt of $450,000 – desperate times are calling for common-sense solutions. In it’s most controversial move, the City passed a law requiring the homeless to act as public toilets and trash cans to help defray costs.
“Let’s face it, these people are covered in trash and human waste almost constantly,” said Needles Mayor John Timmison. “Let’s finally give them the dignity they deserve by urinating on them and throwing trash at them.”
City Planner Rick Davidson said that the move will not only restore dignity to the homeless by letting them feel like they are a part of the community, it will also save the city substantial money.
“We’re looking at saving nearly $37,000 because of cuts in the city’s maintenance department,” said Davidson, who hinted that the homeless could be used for other duties such as speed bumps. “This is what happens when the government uses real-world corporate thinking. It’s really win-win.”
At least one homeless person seemed uneasy with the plan to restore dignity to the homeless via using them as restrooms and trash cans.
“It’s not fair!!” said 4-year-old Angela Angelson, who recently became homeless after her father lost a $37,000-a-year job with the city’s maintenance department.
–WKW
No one anticipates …
March 8, 2012
Saul Alinsky!
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – no way America can survive the radical teachings of a long-dead Jew.
–WKW
The Solar Flare is a Liberal Hoax
March 8, 2012
As if Obama’s citizenship, Climate Change, the shape of the Earth and the moon landing weren’t enough, now comes the latest liberal hoax – a giant solar flare.
Yes, apparently “the Sun” is undergoing a “solar storm” and sending “particles” at the “Earth.”
“It could give us a bit of a jolt,” said NASA solar physicist Alex Young.
First off, a “Solar physicist?” Give me a break. What the hell does that even mean? Last I checked, the sun is really far away. What a bunch of elitist nonsense.
Take it from me, a guy who spent two full years going to a college in Alaska, where I studied bears and snow, there is no solar flare. This is yet another diversion by the liberal media to take the attention away from Obama’s bungling of the economy and war on Israel.
Stop believing the nonsense of rich “scientists” who are blowing your hard-earned money on nonsense research about things that are far away like the sun and have no effect on us Americans. Your instincts are more than enough to let you know that there are no particles hitting Earth. Do you see any particles hitting Earth? I don’t.
I am not some ill-informed person, however. I will be spending the entire day staring at the “sun” looking for this “solar storm” and the “flare.” I invite all reading this post to do the same.
So let’s spend today staring at the sun. We’ll see the truth then. That’ll show those liberal “scientists.”
–WKW
No one anticipates ….
March 7, 2012
Studs Terkel!!
For more on how a rag-tag group of Terkel, Barack Obama, Saul Alinsky and Derrick Bell planned on turning America into a dank, gray, totalitarian nightmare, click here.
–WKW
Studs Terkel!!!!!!
Mitt Romney asks Gingrich and Santorum a simple question
March 7, 2012
–WKW
Mitt Romney is Wealthy – and that’s all there is to him
March 6, 2012
Yesterday, Ann Romney went on Fox News and said that she didn’t really consider herself wealthy. Which is funny, because that’s all America sees when they see her husband. Wealth.
By no means should wealth be a disqualifying factor in whether someone should be qualified for higher office. One can even see some validity to the argument that those successful in the capitalism game may have something to offer the rest of the public. But for Mitt Romney, the problem isn’t so much that he’s wealthy. It’s that his wealth so completely defines him.
Flashback four years ago and you have John McCain in the position Romney is now in. No one can doubt the incredible wealth of McCain, and it did on occasion lead to some issues for McCain. But whether or not you like McCain, the fact is, his wealth in no way defines him. He came into the GOP convention with an enviable record of serving his country. Mind you, he ran a terrible campaign, but it wasn’t his wealth that brought him down.
This, in a nutshell, is one of Mitt Romney’s biggest problems regarding his wealth – it is all he brings to the table. His wealth defines him. When Americans saw McCain, they saw a war hero or a long-time senator. When Americans see Romney, they see a rich guy. Because that’s what he is. That’s all he is.
Mitt Romnney is wealthy. It is who he is and will be his only lasting legacy. His wife’s considerations be damned.
–WKW
I Am A Slut!
March 3, 2012
BTW:
–WKW
Dead people talking politics
March 1, 2012
While they were busy writing endless columns on such things as Obama’s manliness, whether or not Americans should wear jeans or whether or not Monica Lewinsky would bring down the nation, America’s famed band of “conservative and moderate intellectuals” failed to notice that the GOP was going insane.
They’re noticing now.
All across the nation, there are mainstream Republicans lamenting how the party has grown more and more insular, more and more rigid. This year, they have an excellent chance to defeat President Obama, yet the wingers have trashed the party’s reputation by swinging from one embarrassing and unelectable option to the next: Bachmann, Trump, Cain, Perry, Gingrich, Santorum.
“Newt Gingrich said the American people have a right to demand two dollar and fifty cent gas prices. They have a right to demand lobsters grow on trees. This is economic nonsense.”
Once elected, those presidents curbed the id with the ego, common sense and reason. But now the G.O.P.’s id is unbridled. The horse has thrown the rider; the dark forces are bubbling. Moderates, women, gays, Hispanics and blacks — even the president — are being hunted in this most dangerous game.
But the remark also illustrates the Tea Party’s disconnect from reality. Except in the rarest cases, to work with one’s hands in modern America is to face a lifetime of very low-wage work. (And the exceptions do things that I suspect Tea Party activists would dislike almost as much as they dislike college: artisanal cheese-making, restoration of antiques, high-end floral arrangement, etc.—and anyway people who do those things typically have at least some higher education and often quite a lot.)
Yes, while the so-called moderate Republican columnists were sleeping, their party left them. More than that, their party is blaming them for their woes. So while people like Brooks, Dowd, Will & Frum will continue to spout what they consider conservative intellectualism, the simple fact is that they no longer have an audience. And their shrill criticism of the GOP is coming far too late for it to have any effect on political discourse.
–WKW
