Child, 9, murders more than 100,000 in video game

May 6, 2013 by  

DULUTH – In a scene of overwhelming carnage, Bobby Jenkins, 9, brutally murdered more than 100,000 people, zombies, and other entities yesterday.

The slaughter began at 3:30 p.m. yesterday, when Sally Jenkins, mother of Bobby, allowed her son to play the video game “Slaughter Everything.” After doing some bills, Sally Jenkins stumbled across the murder scene and immediately sent young Bobby to his room.

“It was really unsettling,” said Sally Jenkins. “He was just going crazy, slaughtering everybody.”

While his mother was upset at the murder rampage, her son seemed to have no remorse for his actions.

“That was AWESOME,” said Bobby.

There is currently no investigation into the mass murder, and families of the deceased have been urged to continue playing their roles in the video game. Sally Jenkins said that there was a positive side to the scene of what many are calling genocide.

“At least his 2-year-old sister is still alive,” said Sally Jenkins. “And so are our neighbors and his schoolmates. Maybe I should just make sure he plays video games compatible for someone his age.”

–WKW

Comments

4 Responses to “Child, 9, murders more than 100,000 in video game”

  1. RockE on May 9th, 2013 4:38 am

    ..meanwhile, Bobby;s twin sister, Yasmin, oblivious to the carnage, (and adorned in the provocative lingerie mom bought her for the Miss pre-Puberty Beauty pageant circuit) sexts pictures of herself to the 50 year old pedophile masquerading as Bobby’s fellow infantryman from her closet.

  2. dgun on May 19th, 2013 8:25 pm

    In my day video games cost 25 cents and were completely unrealistic and only mildly addictive:

    waka-waka-waka-waka-waka-waka-waka-waka-waka-waka-waka-waka-waka-waka-waka-waka-waka-waka-waka-waka-waka-waka-waka-waka-waka-waka-waka-waka-waka-waka-waka-waka-

    true story, I bought one of those little hand held throwback games you plug into the TV and my nephew, who spends most of his waking hours playing video games, was completely befuddled by a joystick. I tell you, I’m worried about this generation coming up.

  3. William K. Wolfrum on May 20th, 2013 3:15 am

    My wife was just asking about you. Asked if I knew where you were. I mentionedt hat I haven’t exactly been writing that much lately

  4. dgun on May 20th, 2013 6:31 pm

    Hello Bill’s wife!

    My internet free time is not what it use to be but I still keep an eye on the WKW blog.

    Thought I might mention we have a dog now. A weenie dog mix. tiny little puppy and she is feisty and sweet at the same time. She chases the kids around and pulls at their pants legs.

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