God signs new 4-year deal with Democrats: “I can finally get my Mom a new house”

September 5, 2012 by  

HEAVEN - God, the controversial creator of everything everywhere, has signed a new deal with the Democratic Party that will keep him in their fold for the next four years.

God celebrates the DNC folding over a non-issue.

“This is just a thrill,” said God, 42. “There so much uncertainty in this game, but now I feel as though I’ve finally made it.”

The Democratic Party had considered releasing God outright in its current platform, but - under pressure from the Republican Party - decided at the last minute to offer the All-Powerful Deity the new deal. Details of the contract have yet to be released, but it is thought God will receive a generous package that includes having a say in all future Democratic decisions.

“Really, this is awesome. Now, I can finally get my Mom that new house she’s always wanted,” said God, an Aquarius. “Now it’s all about suiting up and sticking my hands into everything I can.”

The Democratic Party also announced today that Reality-Based Progressive Thinking has been placed on irrevocable waivers to make roster space for God. Also, Jerusalem as the Capital of Israel has been placed on the Practice Squad.



One Response to “God signs new 4-year deal with Democrats: “I can finally get my Mom a new house””

  1. Fact-Checking William K. Wolfrum: The Fact-Checkening « Media « William K. Wolfrum Chronicles on September 6th, 2012 5:08 am

    [...] Let us begin. Claim: God “Bought His Mom A House” after signing a 4-year contract with Democrats. [...]

Feel free to leave a comment...
and oh, if you want a pic to show with your comment, go get a gravatar!

Enter 300x250 Banner Code Here
  • Details: Love never dies. Ok, everything dies. But this is still sweet.

WordPress SEO fine-tune by Meta SEO Pack from Poradnik Webmastera