Only Brock Lesnar can lead Republican Party back to glory

July 22, 2009 by  

Hey Republicans, quit your whining and listen up. You keep bitching about every thing going against you guys and then who do elect to run your party? Michael Steele? As incompetent and milquetoast a person rarely walks the planet. Well, it’s time to grow a pair. There is just one man alive who can bring the Republican Party back to the power it once commanded.

Brock Lesner.

In human history, no nation has ever had access to a human so close to being pure Terminator. The UFC Heavyweight champion, Brock Lesnar is a ruthless 6-3, 270-pound killing machine. His mammoth skull contains a brain disinterested in anything but violence. And his German/Yeti heritage means he’s as pure a white man as you’ll find this side of Brian Kilmeade.

Yes, Brock Lesnar is the only one who can lead the Republican Party now. Sure, his political knowledge is non-existent, but if he can at least name who the current President is, he’ll be more or less on par with Steele.

As an added plus, he’s Brock Freakin’ Lesnar. No more worries about creating sophisticated political ads. Just put the camera on Lesnar and let his flat-out threaten people to stop supporting health care reform and the like. Dissent within the party would be over. Problems would be solved.

Seriously, imagine Mark Stanford trying to pull that crap about his soulmate in Argentina if Lesnar was RNC Chairman. He’d have beaten the crap out of the sniveling South Carolina governor. If you want a new woman, you get with the new woman and flip everyone else off. Newt Gingrich would be Lesnar’s biggest supporter.

Brock Lesnar is every Conservatives ultimate fantasy human. Lesnar is Joe the Plumber with more steroids and less intellect. Lesnar is Sarah Palin with a better rack and ability to finish what he starts. Lesnar is everything conservatives ever wanted, and even whiter than they could have ever hoped.

So, Republicans, I ask you this: Do you really want to be an ineffectual party only interested in blocking legislation, or do you want to kick ass? Elect Brock Lesnar as your new National Committee Chairman. He is a huge, mindless, narcissistic wrecking machine with a bad attitude. Brock Lensnar is everything the GOP as all about.



8 Responses to “Only Brock Lesnar can lead Republican Party back to glory”

  1. Michael on July 22nd, 2009 8:32 am

    I’m not familiar with UFC in general or Brock Lesnar specifically, but is it fair to assume he’s “mindless” or “less intelligent” simply because he beats people for a living? I won’t disagree that many of the bulkier athletes in the world are lacking in smarty-pants-ness, but still. Brian Kilmeade is a little guy and he’s dumb as hell.

    Lesnar could be like Andre the Giant. That guy was wicked smart, and totally deserved an academy award for his role in “The Princess Bride.”

  2. William K. Wolfrum on July 22nd, 2009 8:49 am

    I’ve seen quite a bit about Lesnar and know some people who know him, as well. He’s pretty much as advertised.

  3. hugh.c.mcbride on July 22nd, 2009 9:46 am

    He is a huge, mindless, narcissistic wrecking machine with a bad attitude.

    Sounds like Rush, Newt & W finally have the person to round out their foursome.

  4. Michael on July 22nd, 2009 10:20 am

    WKW- “He’s pretty much as advertised.”

    Fair enough. I know nothing of any professional athlete since the retirement of Terry “Hulk” Hogan. I defer to your superior connections.

  5. William K. Wolfrum on July 22nd, 2009 10:26 am

    \I’m pretty sure he has no political thoughts. He seems to like the warrior style and does little more than work out, fight, and be pissed.

  6. William K. Wolfrum on July 22nd, 2009 10:27 am

    So, you know, for his field, he’s pretty damn good.

  7. Brock Lesnar finally opens up about Universal Health Care : William K. Wolfrum Chronicles on January 21st, 2010 12:36 pm

    [...] is speaking out on your behalf. And while it seems that Republicans will be foolish enough to ignore my call to make Lesnar their leader, it will be interesting to see if Lesnar follows Scott Brown’s lead and runs for Congress. [...]

  8. Chris O. on February 14th, 2010 10:58 am

    This is sad William that you just attack the Republican Party for no reason when Lesnar isn’t even considering politics AFAIK. Just because he is a hard working farm boy and German doesn’t mean he’s a redneck and a dumb racist being who can do nothing but beat people up. I’d say your quite jealous of all his astonishing accomplishments. Then again, I am putting this in the kindest way! I get your a write and you got to express your flamboyant and nearly anal attitude feelings you have, but have some kind words and don’t further separate political parties and be a prick about it my kind sir.

    ~Chris Okyen

Feel free to leave a comment...
and oh, if you want a pic to show with your comment, go get a gravatar!

Enter 300x250 Banner Code Here
  • Details: Love never dies. Ok, everything dies. But this is still sweet.

WordPress SEO fine-tune by Meta SEO Pack from Poradnik Webmastera