South Dakota gets longest male masturbation waiting period

April 5, 2011 by  

PIERRE, S.D. — South Dakota governor Dennis Daugaard signed a bill into law on Tuesday that requires a man to wait 72 hours after his first doctor’s appointment to be allowed to masturbate, the longest waiting list in the nation.

Male Masturbation rights groups have already said they plan to file a lawsuit challenging the measure, which also requires men to undergo counseling at Catholic Churches that discourage masturbation.

Daugaard, who gave no interviews after signing the bill, said in a written statement that he has conferred with state attorneys who will defend the law in court and a sponsor who has pledged private money to finance the state’s legal costs.

“I think everyone agrees with the goal of reducing masturbation by encouraging consideration of other alternatives,” the Republican governor said the statement. “I hope that men who are considering masturbating will use this three-day period to make good choices.”

Opponents say the law forces men to go to Churches that harass them, rather than providing sound advice. They also say the waiting period and the counseling are an undue burden for men who have a constitutional right to masturbate.

The law, which takes effect July 1, says masturbation can only be scheduled by a doctor who has personally met with a man and determined he is voluntarily seeking to masturbate and is not being coerced into it. The act can’t be done until at least 72 hours after that first consultation.



4 Responses to “South Dakota gets longest male masturbation waiting period”

  1. no name on April 5th, 2011 10:31 am

    so let me undertsand this: you are trying to be funny a law that requires a woman to think twice before maing a decision of life and death. hmmm… i guess i expected a sincere introspection into how many times you did something in a hurry - under stress or under various influences - and then regretted it since.
    oh, well… maybe next time…

  2. dgun on April 7th, 2011 6:46 pm

    no name, if that is indeed your real name, I think what Bill is doing here is making fun of asshole men who are making laws to govern women’s bodies, based on their fundamentalist, moralistic perspective, whilst they themselves happily wack away on a daily basis, something that is also clearly immoral by their own alleged standards, and in the opinion of such as the Catholic Church, the same as abortion.

  3. Whybird on April 8th, 2011 4:29 am

    NoName is right. Making snap decisions on abortion is a real problem. One time my partner was pregnant, and we’d planned to carry the baby to term. But then as we were walking through our local chemist store, we got hit with the hard-sell by an abortion salesman. We just didn’t have time to think! With all the special offers that they tack on, these cunning shop-floor types can make it seem like you’re getting a really good bargain and pressure you into a decision. Before we knew it we’d bought abortions not only for the baby she was carrying, but for me myself to have one ‘just in case’, plus one for our three-year-old child. I’m still regretting making that snap decision to this day: as communist liberals, the Obama administration was going to beat everybody who loves America up, take their money, and pay it to us in childcare. We lost a packet on that deal.

  4. Nikita on April 13th, 2011 12:10 pm

    OMG, Whybird and dgun…. I couldn’t have said it better myself. Hi-LARious!! (PS, do either of you have a blog?)

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