In truth

August 30, 2012

I have spent some time gathering my thoughts about this post, which is the 3,000th* at this blog. I have a penchant of thinking too large when it comes to blog posts, anyway, but I allowed myself to be thrown off by the monumental faux landmark of a round number. Thus, I have spent hours staring at an empty page, waiting for some great truth to come to mind.


My sister-in-law is a fantastic young woman. Kind, accepting and focused on the needs of others. She is beautiful in all aspects of the word. When she was a child, however, she was a monster. As has been described to me, she was a hyper, dirty, aggressive little liar.

Then, one day out of the blue, she decided she would not lie any more. She would be an honest girl. She remembers the day fondly, as it was her first step toward becoming the gentle, honest soul she is today.

The only problem, of course, was that it took several months for anyone to believe anything she said, regardless of her new-found honesty. Her family had heard enough lies over the years to distrust her, and it took them a while to accept that she had truly changed her ways.


We are all liars in one way or another, whether they are little white lies with good intentions, to lying to ourselves, to telling massive whoppers in front of millions of people.

The Internet and social media has been a grand experiment in lying. Think of your own social media experience. Given the ability to craft our own realities, many of us present ourselves in the most glorious of lights. I know that I generally present myself as the person I aspire to be rather than the person I truly am.

Mind you, minor misrepresentations of oneself is generally harmless unless meant to deceive for nefarious reasons. But it seems to lead to a more complicated issue of lying to oneself. The best road toward personal growth depends on being honest to oneself, not covering up the uncomfortable areas with a facade.

A Nation of Liars.

The current election cycle has been a grand experiment in lying. While it is true that President Barack Obama can massage a fact with the best of them and will avoid certain truths, it is Mitt Romney who has created an entirely new paradigm for the definition of truth. Not only has Romney been caught in numerous outright lies, he - along with running mate Paul Ryan - have crafted their own life stories. While this can be harmless fun for someone with a Twitter account, it becomes surreal when two lifelong millionaires create life histories that showcase them as blue-collar folks who had to scrimp and struggle to get to where they are today.

Add to that a media so often loath to even challenge many lies politicians spout, and you create a nation with an extreme crisis of confidence. Who is to be trusted to be truthful? Who can even tell any longer.

The Truth.

The truth of the matter is that the United States has become a nation of beliefs and faiths. It is a nation of competing ideologies that has put aside the truth in order to garner victory big or small. The Personal Truth is far more important and satisfying than the true truth. This is not the sign of a healthy civilization.

When you have an elected official saying that women have a natural defense mechanism against rape, you are most assuredly on a dangerous path. When science is considered an enemy that must be belittled, or when nearly all facts become objective, a nation’s reality becomes hopelessly unrealistic.

Every American generation is coming into a nation where lying to get what they want is more and more acceptable. Evolution - a Truth - works with psyches as well as physical organisms. And the changes come much more quickly when they are changes in attitudes and ethics. As time goes on, even those that espouse the greatest truths will find themselves in my Sister-in-Law’s youthful position - distrusted due to a history of lies.

Much greater minds than I have delved into the subject of truth and have come away with wildly different interpretations. These words are not meant to define truth. They are not meant to call out the lies. If anything, they are a message to myself to have the courage to view myself and the world with honesty. Because the words of the Great Bard are as true now as when they were originally written:

“This above all: to thine own self be true, And it must follow, as the night the day, Thou canst not then be false to any man. ” — William Shakespeare.


*Actually, that’s a lie. This is post No. 3,001. I forgot about the round number and posted a dog picture. But what’s the harm of this little lie, I ask?

For Shame!!!

August 21, 2012

Dogshaming is just cracking me up. Take a look for yourself.



That is one big rabbit

August 8, 2012

And then the bunnies got big and the elephants got small and that was the beginning of the Apocalypse, son. Good night.

HT Matt Osborne


Washington Post’s Photo of gold medalist Gabby Douglas

August 2, 2012

Following the controversy of not including Olympian Gabby Douglas in the photo or the story of the U.S. women gymnastics team winning gold, the Washington Post already has released its photo to commemorate Douglas winning the all-around gold today:

Congratulations to Douglas and the entire U.S. Women’s Gymnastics Team for an amazing performance in London.


Know your hyperbole

August 2, 2012

When Republican Rep. Mike Kelly stood in front of the world and stated that the birth-control mandate was comparable to Sept.11 and the Pearl Harbor attacks, it got people’s attention. This was a true game-changing statement in many ways. Mostly, it changed how we Americans should now compare things.

Luckily for all of you, I am here with a handy chart of what comparisons can now be used for various issues. Here are some of the hot-button issues of today and what they can now be compared to:

Saving the Post Office: Two American Civil Wars and raining of frogs.

Social Security: Four Great Depressions, a heart attack and the Rwanda Genocide.

Medicaid and Medicare: The Albanian Genocide, the film “Ishtar,” and a knuckle sandwich.

Defense Cuts: The Jamestown tragedy, three World War IIs and a back waxing.

Universal Health Care: The 100-Years War (twice), the extinction of the dinosaurs and a nasty cold sore.

Abortion: The Black Death, 127 Holocausts, a punch in the ear and an untreated toothache.

Tax Hikes: 727  Holocausts, the War of 1812 and a leg cramp.

Gay Marriage: Six Apocalypses,  a kick to the groin, micro-penisism and falling down stairs.


Use these wisely, my friends. Reckless and offensive hyperbole should always be the last resort. But once you go there, go all the way, as our Republican friends have shown us.


I got your culture right here, with a side order of French fries

August 2, 2012

Being an incredible success in life is something I’ve come to grips with lo these many years. And while I’d like to say that hard work and discipline have taken me to my current staggering heights, we all know that’s a load of nonsense. There is but one reason why I am the successful man I am:

I’m cultured like a son of a bitch.

Yes, my friends, I got the culture like I got the clap - lots of it and it itches like crazy. This culture has helped me easily navigate life’s problems and has made me rich beyond your wildest dreams.

Growing up in culture-rich West Covina, California - where fast-food franchises are literally stacked on top of other fast-food franchises - I was taught American culture early on. I learned that the key to America’s success was it’s culture of cheap food-like stuffs, available around every corner. This, my friends, is the culture that America has brought to the planet. This is the culture that makes America great.

Think I’m joking? Well, I currently reside in Brazil. As many of you know, Brazil is currently showcasing economic muscle like never before. Why is that? It’s because there are more and more fast-food franchises around. You see, when I first visited Brazil, there were very few fast-food joints. Brazilians were busy eating fresh foods served at small restaurants. And the economy suffered for it. Now, with Brazilians shoving Big Macs, Whoppers and other crap into their mouths, the economy is booming. Brazil is getting cultured.

Mind you, fast food is still rather new to Brazil, which explains why 99.9% of the nation is not as successful as I, someone who has been shoveling fast food into his gullet for decades. I got culture literally pouring out of me, often several times a day. Nonetheless, the culture is now here in Brazil, and Brazilians are already benefiting greatly.

So, friends, remember - your success has little to do with rugged individuality or your own hard work. It has to do with culture. And in America, culture means bad faux food at low prices. Brazil is figuring that out. Now, if we can only get a Chick-fil-A franchise down here. They share a common culture with Brazil, after all.


The difference between birth-control pills, 9/11 and Pearl Harbor

August 1, 2012

Two House Republicans have compared the new rule allowing women easier access to birth control to Sept.11 and the Pearl Harbor attack. See if you can spot the difference:

Sept. 11

Attack on Pearl Harbor.


Birth-control pills

If you are unable to tell the difference between these three photos, please ask someone who lost loved ones on 9/11 or at Pearl Harbor. They can tell you the difference right quick.


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