Archive for the 'Life and Such' Category

Corporations grieve for Milton Friedman; most others wished WalMart would provide health care

Thursday, November 16th, 2006

Milton Friedman, the Nobel Prize winning economist that helped put 16 percent of the nation’s wealth into 1 percent of the pockets of the U.S., died today at the age of 94.

Friedman leaves behind many large corporations, including Exxon Mobil, WalMart, Chevron and General Motors.

“He was like a father to us,” said Exxon Mobil, wiping it’s eyes with krugerrands.

While many large corporations feel a sense of gratitude toward Friedman, the majority of the U.S. could give a shit and just wish they had health care.

homeless american


Some recent blogs

Wednesday, November 15th, 2006

A bit of what I’ve been doing at

If O.J. Simpson can get iffy, so can a golf blogger
In a career full of glorious achievements, including gaining 2,003 yards rushing in 1973, the Naked Gun movies, the murders of his wife and her friend, and the O.J. Simpson Trial, O.J. Simpson is preparing for his next blockbuster smash - his new book “If I Did It, Here’s How It Happened.” Read more

De La Hoya-Mayweather bout will highlight how age matters more in boxing than golf
Having recently signed up a mega fight that will occur in May 2007, the Mayweather-De La Hoya bout will be a perfect example of how age is different in boxing than in any other sport. De La Hoya goes into the fight with edges in experience, quality of opposition and weight. He’ll leave the fight bloody, battered and stopped. Read More

An important tip for all golfers: Beware of rugby players
Up to 14 teams and 428 players can compete on the field at the same time during a rugby match. Read more

John Daly, Britney Spears get divorced: A new power couple awaits
On a day when election coverage should be the only news that matters, two massive events have shaken the United States, leaving the elections in the dust. Both John Daly and Britney Spears are getting divorced.
Read More


A Craigslist Curmudgeon does the snarky work so writers don’t have to

Tuesday, November 7th, 2006

Being a big-shot professional writer is everything I ever dreamed it could be and more. I get paid truly insane amounts of money to sit on my ass all day and write things that change how people think and act.

Like, who can ever forget the brilliant blog I recently wrote entitled: “Rev. Ted Haggard loves the cock”? Now there was a groundbreaking piece of work which truly captured the essence of the story - a hypocritical pastor loving cock.

But, there’s so much more to me than writing about cocks and pastors and pastors that love cock. And golf. I am a well-rounded writer always looking for bigger and better challenges. Plus, I care about the little people. Little people like you. Yes, you. People who can’t write well enough to carry my jock. Sure, deep in my heart I feel the same way about you as the average Republican feels about black men, but I feign that I care, because I was once like you - hungry, young and an awful writer.

Many a day I spent at Web sites like Craigslist, finding a few work assignments, but finding even more disappointment. Now, thanks to the magical tubes of the Internet, there’s someone out there who will find those disappointments for you, and slather them with some good, old-fashioned snark.

He’s the Craigslist Curmudgeon, and he is doing the work that needs to be done. He goes the extra mile to find the best of the worst on Craigslist, and then expose them for being the foolish ignoramuses they really are. Take this post about a recent Craigslist ad for someone looking for “minor tragedies of 9/11.” You know, like losing stuff on your computer when the WTC fell:

I rewrote this post at least six times. I’m at a loss, yet have plenty to say, yet can’t quite say it. As a New Yorker who witnessed 9/11, I’m wondering if I should be offended at how someone is choosing to make light of and profit from some of the day’s events. Am I supposed to read this clever little anthology and feel sorry for the driver of the pimped out car or the person who didn’t get to start his job on September 12th? You nailed it on the head. The loss IS petty and thousands of people did die. To look for the ironic and bizarre out of all of this is so incredibly ass, I have to wonder what type of person is looking to capitalize on all of this.

You get ‘em, CC. Head on over to Craigslist Curmudgeon today for more. There’s some funny stuff over there, and the comments are a hoot as well. Plus, it’s good to see someone flip off the jokers who are always looking to use naive, supple, young writers for nothing or next to it.

Now, excuse me as I head back to my dream job as a professional writer who seems much too giggly about sneaking the word “cock” into headlines on his own Web site.


Rev. Ted Haggard loves the cock

Sunday, November 5th, 2006

Don’t you just love it when a headline just writes itself? He loves the junk too, while we’re at it.

Think that may be a little harsh? Why not wait for the truth to come out? Nope, not a chance. Screw him. Screw his ilk. He and those like him cast their stones long ago. So now, but one thing is clear:

Ted Haggard is cock-loving meth freak who, according to his demented beliefs in the supernatural, will spend eternity burning in hell.

Not that he cares much, it seems. From Vanity Fair’s James Wolcott:

Haggard, however, might have returned from shooting a round of golf, he was so matter-of-fact. There he was, sitting in the driveway outside his house, seatbelt fastened, admitting to purchasing meth (not a trifling matter for an evangelical leader) and arranging a massage as if shooting the breeze with a neighbor. The genial lack of affect was fascinating. And I presume the woman sitting in the passenger’s seat was his wife-what did she make of all this? Five children, a prominent place in the community, and her husband is copping to buying meth out of curiosity. Once you’re arranging drug buys and massages with male prostitutes, I think we’ve moved beyond the curiosity stage. Today one of the cable news outfits ran an interview with one of Haggard’s closest friends and associates, and if it’s possible to be so gay you don’t even know you’re gay, he would have been people’s exhibit #1. He said Jesus’s name as if it were the most delicious lozenge imaginable.

So remember folks, weird fundamentalist cultists like Haggard, James Dobson, Jerry Falwell, etc., are, more than likely, just a group of cock-loving meth freaks waiting patiently to turn your young children on to cock and dope.

And George W. Bush is funneling them money by the boatload to do it.

Update: Not that you would know that Bush and his “Faith-Based” initiatives are still in operation. Oddly enough, the Faith-Based and Community Initiative pages on the White House Web site can’t be found just now.


GOP’s “Nov. Surprise” not so surprising: Islamofascistnazikillers want to murder you and your babies!!!!

Saturday, November 4th, 2006

So you say you got a problem, bub? Can’t stop your lawmakers from chasing after suple, 16-year-old boy pages? Can’t get your spiritual leaders to stop with the speed and gay sex? Can’t stop your congressmen from getting tossed in the can for being thieves? Can’t legislate to save your ass? Think War is a giant game of Risk? And you suck at Risk?

Well, have I got a solution for you.


Wall-to-wall, endless Fear!!

Yes, the November surprise appears to be the same surprise U.S. citizens have had to swallow for more than five years now. “Don’t want to vote Republican because we’re destroying every last thing you believe in? Well, that’s fine, but remember one thing:”

Muslims want to kill all of you

-Brought to you by Fox.

Yes, Fox News, in keeping with its stated objective: “If the GOP goes up for war crimes, we’ll be right there with them” has decided to air — FIVE TIMES — between now and the election, an anti-Muslim, propaganda film called “Obsession: The Threat of Radical Islam”. The film spends its time detailing how Muslims are much worse than Nazis and will do anything to enslave the U.S. under sharia law.

Glenn Greenwald summed it up nicely:

This is the poison that the Bush movement has been feeding to this country for five years now, and like all toxins, it has had a devestatingly corrosive effect. Fear (and the desire for destruction which naturally accompanies it) is the only substance that fuels their movement, which is why the likes of Fox News, following in the footsteps of the Leaders whom they serve, have devoted themselves to the only goal they know — flooding the country with as much fear as possible in the hopes that it will save their dying movement from full-scale political collapse. ]

Some day, this film will be an exhibit in a museum, powerfully illustrating what the Bush movement was and how its followers attempted to justify its conduct and keep it in power.

Just a thought, but you know, for Conservatives, the whole “Ohmygawd, terrorists are coming!!” frightfest really nullifies the whole tough talk on every other issue that they do.

But realize that just because Donald Rumsfeld and George W. Bush couldn’t protect you on 9/11, doesn’t mean the world is going to end and we’re in ungodly peril. The U.S. survived Timothy McVeigh and Eric Rudolph. We’ll survive the Islamofascistnazimurders, as well.

So suck it up and stop acting like pansies.

-WKW A fitting tribute to a pill-popping, divorcing, sex tourist radio entertainer

Thursday, November 2nd, 2006

Sometimes, a Web site captures everything worthwhile about a man. Take Rush Limbaugh, for example. A new site dedicated to him, really encapsulates everything worthwhile about the man. So please enjoy:


Perverts rejoice! Scientists take step toward invisibility

Thursday, November 2nd, 2006

For so many long and lonely years, the idea of being invisible was but a pipe dream to the majority of perverts. To a small handful, it was a reality, but those were the crazy perverts, and they don’t really count.

Now, however, the impossible may be possible as scientists led by a team at Duke University in North Carolina have demonstrated a technology that could lead them to invisibility. Perverts, dying to walk unnoticed in women’s locker rooms and bathrooms are literally wetting themselves with glee.

From the New York Times:

The system, a set of concentric copper circles on fiberglass board, deflects electromagnetic waves of a specific frequency that strike it, without much of the scattering and absorption that make reflections and shadows.

The result is that the microwaves slide around the structure like water flowing around a smooth rock in a stream, said David Smith, a professor of electrical and computer engineering at Duke and an author of the paper published Friday in the journal Science.

The exact structure of the circles was described in an earlier paper by John Pendry of Imperial College in London, who worked with the Duke group to see his theory etched into a working model by means of the process used to print circuit boards. In the recent paper, researchers said they had successfully cloaked a copper cylinder.

The findings were first revealed in The Sun, a British tabloid. “Boffin Invents Invisibility Cloak,” a headline stated, using the British slang for a research scientist.

Enthusiasts have already suggested that the technology may someday be useful for the military to create objects that are invisible to radar, or to shield objects from cell phone signals. There has even been talk of a real-life version of the invisibility device.

Put your clothes back on for now, however:

But Smith warned against getting ahead of the announcement Friday and envisioning cloaking devices like the ones used by Romulan warbirds of “Star Trek” being on the horizon.

The work “is really a scientific explanation,” he said, adding, “Whether it’s useful is always a question.”

So there you have it. Scientists may have taken a step to make the life of lonely and shy perverts light years better. Sadly, such technology, should it ever reach maturity, will likely only be used to slaughter massive amounts of people.

But the dream remains alive.


All you need to know about Brazilians

Wednesday, November 1st, 2006

In a story about a work slowdown by air traffic controllers in Brazil, the Associated Press found an example which shows more about Brazilians then you ever knew.

From the AP:

Most passengers were taking the delays in stride, some of them sleeping in airport lounges as they waited for flights to depart, while others arrived tired at their destinations.

“At least we made it. Things could be worse,” said Maria Aparecida after arriving in Rio de Janeiro from Brasilia with a three-hour delay.


More remains at Ground Zero: “Why is this not front-page news?”

Thursday, October 26th, 2006

Let me get this straight: If you don’t support the war on Iraq, you have forgotten 9/11.

So what does it mean when you leave victims’ remains laying at Ground Zero for five years?

From Reuters

NEW YORK - More than 200 pieces of human remains have been found at the World Trade Center site since the discovery of bones by workers clearing rubble from manholes sparked a new search a week ago, an official said on Thursday.

The Twin Towers in New York City were hit by hijacked passenger jets and collapsed on September 11, 2001, killing 2,749 people. Some 1,150 of the victims have either not been identified or not recovered.

A spokeswoman for New York’s Chief Medical Examiner’s Office said that on Thursday an additional nine pieces of bone were found, bringing the total for the week to 202 pieces, ranging from 1 inch to 12 inches in length.

New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg has defended the clean-up of the site, although he said he was at a loss to explain why the bones had not been discovered sooner.

The manholes where the bones were first discovered last Thursday had been covered by a temporary road built after the attacks to allow in cranes to start removing debris.

“Who is going to be held responsible for the emotional, mental and physical damage this has done to the families?” said Adele Milanowycz on, a Web site posting updates for families on the searches.

“Why is this not front-page news? We read about bodies being found in Iraq in mass graves and we are horrified. How is this not horrifying the world?” wrote Milanowycz, who lost her son Greg in the attacks.

Bloomberg has said the city would not shut down construction while searches continued on the western edge of the site where commemoration ceremonies for the families of victims are held on each anniversary of the attacks.

The discovery is the latest setback for the rebuilding effort at the World Trade Center site. Construction of a new Freedom Tower began in April after bickering over financing, security and design delayed plans.

Why indeed is this not front-page news?

Read more about this story at Put it Above Ground.


Two lessons learned in the United States

Thursday, October 26th, 2006

Having spent the last three weeks wandering about the West Coast, playing golf and visiting family, two things currently jump out at me:

1. There are very few actual Americans any longer. There are Republicans, and Democrats, and never the twixt shall meet. A two-party system has divided the United States 300 million different ways.

2. Republicans will still run things after Nov. 7, regardless of what polls say now.