Republican Mark Foley resigns in disgrace: Odds of major terror warnings and/or Osama video in the next five days = 85 percent

September 30, 2006

Mark Foley’s resignation from the House of Representatives for being a huge perv and sending nasty-ass instant messages to 16-year-old male interns has taken the political world by storm.

More importantly, the question now becomes whether prominent Republicans hid their knowledge about Foley.

“The story of the apparent non-reaction of the GOP leadership upon learning of Mark Foley’s predatory interactions with Congressional pages is obviously going to grow rapidly and will dominate the news for the next several days at least,” wrote Glenn Greenwald.

Bloggers all over are on this situation, with it being labeled, probably not incorrectly as “The Perfect Blogstorm” by Pajamas Media.

What does it all mean to you, the average American, however? Well, what it more than likely means is that very soon the nation’s media will deluge you with information about a potential terrorist strike averted, or the threat of a terrorist strike being made. Or Osama bin Laden will die. Or be found alive. Or send out a tape promising to kill every baby in Montana.

Right now, I’d say there’s an 85 percent shot of this happening by Tuesday. And then civilian Mark Foley can disappear back into his demented little world of lusting after teenage boys, and the mighty Republicans can get back to the business of keeping this great nation safe from the evil Islamofascists that are hiding behind every tree.

Update: Well, that didn’t take long.


Yes! You can love your country without worshipping the state

September 29, 2006

Here in Brazil, the most popular colors for clothing are green and yellow. You see people wearing shirts emblazoned with “Brasil” all day long. Everyone owns their own replica of the national soccer team’s jersey.

People here adore Brazil.

The average Brazilian, however, believes that their government is a bunch of crooks, to be treated with suspicion, and with the knowledge that they will eventually screw the general population.

People here hate their government.

They are not considered “anti-Brazilian” for hating their government, however. I get the impression things are that way in most nations, actually, with at very least citizens remaining constantly wary of those that serve them.

Strange how that’s not at all the way things are in the United States, where if you don’t love the “State” then you must hate the country and all it stands for.



Trent Lott supports the Troops in Iraq: “Soldiers dying and being maimed? Why should we care?”

September 28, 2006

This is how Washington big shots “support the troops”

From CNN:

WASHINGTON (CNN) — President Bush barely mentioned the war in Iraq when he met with Republican senators behind closed doors in the Capitol Thursday morning and was not asked about the course of the war, Sen. Trent Lott, R-Mississippi, said.

“No, none of that,” Lott told reporters after the session when asked if the Iraq war was discussed. “You’re the only ones who obsess on that. We don’t and the real people out in the real world don’t for the most part.”

Don’t ever forget: Politicians don’t care. They don’t have to.


Just keep repeating: Terrorists are going to kill every last one of you

September 28, 2006

In keeping with the theory of “The only way to beat terrorists is to act completely terrified” the United States and the World paid little attention to U.S. Congressional hearings today that passed a new law that banishes habeas corpus, pisses on the Geneva Coventions, makes secret and coerced evidence permissable and destroys judicial review. But, only for “Enemy Combatants” of the U.S., which could be anyone from Osama bin Laden, to your neighbor Bob, all at the sole descretion of the President of the U.S.

What’s taken the World news by storm however is this important, breaking news:

Al Qaeda calls for kidnappings, attacks in Iraq!


Yes, the leader of Al Qaeda in Iraq, Abu Hamza al-Muhajir, called for fighters to come to Iraq and join the jihad, during the current Muslim month of Ramadan. He also announced plans to release his new single “Come Join the Jihad” from the album “Jihad up in Here” available on Death Row Records.

The announcement came as a shock to U.S. Intelligence forces, who had predicted al-Muhajir would call for “Hugs, tickle fights, and perhaps a wet willy or two” for the religous festival.

“Wow, we totally missed the mark on this one,” said one unidentified official, who said the new plan for U.S. citizens throughout the world is now “Hide, pee yourself, avoid non-Hollywood or sporting current events, and buy duct tape. And for God’s sakes, don’t dissent.”


NIE: Leftist Internet users = Future terrorists

September 27, 2006

The NIE says that leftist internet users are a major threat to national security

From the National Intelligence Estimate, called “bleak” by CNN, among others:

Anti-US and anti-globalization sentiment is on the rise and fueling other radical ideologies. This could prompt some leftist, nationalist, or separatist groups to adopt terrorist methods to attack US interests. The radicalization process is occurring more quickly, more widely, and more anonymously in the Internet age, raising the likelihood of surprise attacks by unknown groups whose members and supporters may be difficult to pinpoint.

As the commentator Syspog put so well on Glenn Greenwold’s blog:

That paragraph of the NIE is an amalgam equating leftists, nationalists, anti-globalization activists, etc., with fundamentalist Islamic terrorism.

“If the suspension of habeas corpus, the spread of state terror through the use of torture, and the labelling of U.S. citizens as “combatants” isn’t enough, this quote should remind us of how the government is thinking of handling those who criticize the Decider’s dictates.”

And as Greenwold wrote at

Prior to 9/11, the worst terrorist attack on U.S. soil was in Oklahoma City, where Timothy McVeigh blew up a federal building in pursuit of his right-wing, anti-federal-government agenda. But there is nothing in the NIE findings about right-wing or anti-government groups. Instead, there is a rather stark warning about the danger of “leftist” groups using the Internet to engage in terrorist attacks against the United States. Is there any basis at all for that warning?

There have been scattered reports over the last several years that the Bush administration’s anti-terrorism programs have targeted domestic political groups solely because such groups espouse views contrary to the administration’s. That this claim about “leftist” terrorist groups made it into the NIE summary is particularly significant in light of the torture and detention bill that is likely soon to be enacted into law. That bill defines “enemy combatant” very broadly (and the definition may be even broader by the time it is enacted) and could easily encompass domestic groups perceived by the administration to be supporting a “terrorist agenda.”

Remember, they hate us for our freedom.


Does a shorter shorter mean a blogging device has jumped the shark?

September 27, 2006

Sisyphus Shrugged has an intelligent play on the “shorter” technique, with a “Shorter John McCain” showing how far he was willing to bend his moral principles (Hint: REALLY far).

In lieu of that, however, I think it’s time for the “shorter” device to slowly make it’s way out. It was clever enough, but now it’s time to move on. Maybe we could start working on a new “longer” device. I’ll get you started.

Longer Dick Cheney

Rarrrr! Rarrrrrr! Rarrrrrr!


The Politics of idiocy

September 25, 2006

One of the great things I’ve learned being in a South American country is this - the liberal, or more socialist political party always has the advantage. The more poor the country, the more true this seems to be.

In Brazil, Lula will run away with his second term as president by pandering to the poor. The same is true in regards to Hugo Chavez, Evo Morales and the other leftist leaders down these parts.

Now, in these countries, the general populace is extremely poor. So really, whenever a politician does something for them, they will gladly give them their vote. In the U.S., people aren’t as poor, but I truly believe democrats have a natural advantage as people always want something for nothing. The margin of error is closer, however, therefore, if the more conservative party can come up with a solid schtick, they can even the odds.

In the U.S., that schtick is obviously fear. That it works so well is truly amazing. How many of us know people that are educated and erudite, yet seem to have a deep belief that we are in a great “War of Civilizations” and that if we do not go on a constant attack, give up civil rights and our national soul, then everyone in the U.S. will be forced to bow to Mecca and speak Arabic?

That it makes no sense whatsoever is of no concern to them. They truly believe that some nation-less groups, without armies, and for the most part with divergent goals, are going to come to the U.S., defeat the country and take over.

And for those that think that way, the fact that many of us know that this is a ludicrous thought does not mean we want to lay down all arms and warmly allow crazed religous types to come take over. Not everything is black and white, you see. But the fact is, Israel, surrounded by nations that despise it and would love to see them removed from the Earth, still stands. They are vigilant, but they are not insane.

Yet, an ocean removed, many in the U.S. have gone insane. Because a political party has made them that way.

In the end, that’s all it is. We have given our basic common sense over to politicians, and they have run with it. And here’s the thing:

Politicians don’t care about you. Not even a little bit. They just want to remain in, or achieve power. If that means giving you some meal vouchers, fine. If it means terrifying you with boogie men and sending your sons to their deaths in meaningless wars, fine. Whatever it takes. Left and right meet in the middle when it comes to achieving and/or maintaing power.

A country is made up of its people. A nation is not its government and the people that run it. And until people start demanding their government work for them, then they will continue to be abused by politicans and others whose only concerns is their own power.

There are no politicans out there to save us. That is our job.


Great Moments in Bringing Democracy to the World: Turkey and the U.S. slaughter some Kurds

September 25, 2006

Hello everyone, and welcome to “Great Moments in Bringing Democracy to the World” the blog that asks the question: “Hey, why do you morons hate us, anyway?”

In today’s episode, we look back on “Turkey’s war on the Kurds.” Here, we look back to the year 1999. Ricky Martin’s “Livin’ La Vida Loca” had everyone wishing they were Latin, while the U.S. helped bring Democracy to Turkey, one dead and/or homeless Kurd at a time.

From Bulletin of the Atomic Scientists:

Since 1980 the United States has sold or given Turkey-a NATO ally-$15 billion worth of weapons. In the last decade the Turkish army has leveled, burned, or forcibly evacuated more than 3,000 Kurdish villages. That is roughly three-quarters the number of Kurdish settlements destroyed in Iraq in the 1980s during Saddam Hussein’s infamous “Anfal” campaign, when the West was arming Iraq and turning a blind eye to widespread human rights violations.

Turkish justice

The administration conceded that the Turkish policy had forced more than two million Kurds from their homes. Some of the villages were evacuated and burned, bombed, or shelled by government forces to deprive the PKK of a “logistical base of operations,” according to the State Department report, while others were targeted because their inhabitants refused to join the “village guards,” a brutal military tactic-patterned on the Vietnam-era “model villages” program-that requires civilian Kurds to fight Kurdish guerrillas.

Human Rights Watch, the New York-based watchdog group, said the State Department had issued only “half conclusions” in its report, so as to avoid offending the Turkish government. Human Rights Watch, which has also criticized the PKK rebels for serious rights violations, said the U.S.-supplied Turkish army was “responsible for the majority of forced evacuation and destruction of villages.”

In a 1998 interview, John Shattuck, the assistant secretary of state for human rights, defended U.S. arms deliveries to Turkey. Shattuck, a one-time professor at Harvard and a former member of the advisory board at Amnesty International, said that although abuses against Kurds were “a matter of grave concern” to the United States, Turkey’s human rights record was improving. And in any case, he added, “I don’t think the United States is responsible for Turkey’s internal policies.”

Join us next week on “Great Moments in Bringing Democracy to the World” as we head to Nicaragua to enjoy some Oxtail stew, served from the skulls of dead, Democratically-enhanced Nicaraguans.


Democrats fearfully sit by as U.S. prepares to become officially pro-torture

September 22, 2006

After Senators John McCain and Lindsey Graham and John W. Warner opened up the door to the Democratic party to go headlong into the battle against any interrogation bill, the entire Democrat party chose to sit back and let the Republicans sort it out, and a “compromised agreement” is ready to roll through Congress.

From CNN:

President Bush hailed the agreement, saying it will preserve the “most potent tool we have” in the war against terror — the ability of the CIA to interrogate detainees and “get their secrets.”

It breaks down like this:

1) The U.S. will now be pro-torture.
2) Republicans get to look good making the U.S. pro-torture.
3) Democrats are impotent lap dogs.

Democrat leader Harry Reid scoffed at Republicans and it’s “Do-nothing Senate,” all the while showing his plan was to do nothing. After six years now of doing nothing, it is apparent that democrats are either in cahoots with the Republican party, or at very least are equally soul-less and without morals or dignity. Sadly, these are your only options as voters.

Digby’s Hullabaaloo has a good take on it, as does Marty Lederman. “U.S. to be First Nation to Authorize Violations of Geneva,” he writes.

Remember when we were a two-party system? Those were the days, eh? So now, what is worse, the party that acts immorally at all times, or the other party that quietly and sweetly allows them to do so?

Just remember, in the end, all citizens get to share in it. Because when this passes - and it will, as there’s no chance Democrats will do anything but meekly whine before it sails through along party lines - it will be official: All Americans will be pro-torture.


President Bush visits Tampa Bay Bucs - team loses all Republican support

September 21, 2006

Eager to further distance themselves from President George W. Bush, Republican lawmakers quickly worked to oppose the NFL’s Tampa Bay Buccaneers after the President visited the team’s practice facilities.

The Bucs are 0-2 thus far in the season, having been outscored 41-3, overall. Bush told reporters he told the team to “never give up” in a closed-door meeting.

“Some people say Tampa Bay is playing bad football,” said Bush. “I say, they are exploring alternative football practices. They would be foolish to change starting quarterback Chris Simms, or any other player for that matter. Defeat after defeat after defeat after defeat after defeat after defeat builds character.”

Many prominent Republicans were quick to voice their anger over the Tampa Bay visit, trying to show they are not in step with everything the President wants.

“I say go Steelers,” said Pennsylvania Senator Rick Santorum. “Sure, I’ve voted for everything this President has ever presented. Sure, I’ve walked his dogs. Yeah, I’ve rubbed his tummy when he didn’t feel good. And, of course, I’ve sworn a blood oath to Dick Cheney. But let’s remember the important things. Go Steelers. NFL champions.

For his part, Bucs coach Jon Gruden told reporters he’d sell his left leg if he had the 28 percent or so support that Bush currently enjoys.

How to get ahead in English law enforcement: Murder Brazilians

September 16, 2006

Learning about different cultures is an interesting experience. Just today I was telling my wife how I found salgados - the tasty treats Brazilians snack on in the hours before and after their big lunches - to be terrific and something that the U.S. didn’t really have.

And then there’s England. It seems if you’re in the law enforcement profession in England, a great way to move up the ladder is to go Mossad on innocent Brazilians and put seven bullets in their brain.

From Reuters, with a heads up from The Sideshow:

A police officer involved in the fatal shooting of an innocent Brazilian man in London last year has been selected for promotion to one of the most senior policing jobs in the city.

Cressida Dick was in charge of the operation that led to Jean Charles de Menezes, 27, being shot seven times in the head on the underground after he was mistaken for a suspected suicide bomber.

Campaigners representing the family of de Menezes have previously said they wanted officers involved in the case, along with London’s police chief Ian Blair, to face action.

Blair himself was part of the five-strong panel that decided to promote Dick.

I’m not sure if Dick would have gotten the promotion had de Menzes been an actual terrorist, or if the promotion was given due to the possibility that it was payback for Brazil’s thwarting of England in the 2002 World Cup. Different cultures, you know?

Still, it would be strongly advised for any and all Brazilians in the London area to avoid any law enforcement types showing any signs of ambition.


High-ranking Republicans stand together and deliver against an Administration gone haywire

September 16, 2006

As Democrats stand shattered like deer in the headlights immobilized whenever the silly line “soft on terrorism” is bandied about, some old-school conservatives have started to make their case - George W. Bush and his neo-con dream team are not one of them.

From the New York Times:

Senators John McCain and Lindsey Graham cornered their partner, Senator John W. Warner, on the Senate floor late Wednesday afternoon.

Mr. Warner, the courtly Virginian who is chairman of the Armed Services Committee, had been trying for weeks to quietly work out the three Republicans’ differences with the Bush administration’s proposal to bring terrorism suspects to trial. But Senators McCain, of Arizona, and Graham, of South Carolina, who are on the committee with Mr. Warner, convinced him that the time for negotiation was over.

The three senators, all military veterans, marched off to an impromptu news conference to lay out their deep objections to the Bush legislation. Mr. Warner then personally broke the news to Senator Bill Frist of Tennessee, the majority leader, and the next day the Armed Services Committee voted to approve a firm legislative rebuke to the president’s plan to reinterpret the Geneva Conventions.

It was a stinging defeat for the White House, not least because the views of Mr. Warner, a former Navy secretary, carry particular weight.

This is great news for the many Americans worried that Bush would ram through two bills — Bush’s plan to reinterpret the Geneva Convention and Arlen Specter’s FISA bill — that would both give him unprecedented power, as well as further diminish the U.S.’s reputation both home and abroad.

“There are three branches of government, not one,” said Graham.

Earlier in the day, Joe Scarborough jumped into the fray, and, no matter how much it obviously pained him, came to the realization that a House divided is most likely what is necessary for the U.S. Congress, as spending under the current Republican regime has made Bill Clinton look like George Costanza.

Scarborough penned a column, “And we thought Clinton had no self-control” for Washington Monthly:

When The Washington Monthly reached me at my office recently, a voice on the other side of the line meekly asked if I would ever consider writing an article supporting the radical proposition that Republicans should get their brains beaten in this fall.

“Count me in!” was my chipper response. I also seem to remember muttering something about preferring an assortment of Bourbon Street hookers running the Southern Baptist Convention to having this lot of Republicans controlling America’s checkbook for the next two years.

Democrats should well take a lesson from these two separate items: when you believe in something and/or were voted in for those beliefs, then have the balls to stand up for them. Listen to the will of the people.


Cheney, tell ‘em, baby: I Think Georgie’s Gone Crazy

September 15, 2006

Georgie’s Gone Crazy

(To the tune of Eminem’s “My Dad’s Gone Crazy”)

[Tuning TV]
[Bush Snortin Crack]

[TV Presenter:]
Hello boys and girls
Today we’re gonna talk about President and media relationships
Do you have a Georgie?
I’ll bet you do

[Door opens]
who’s your Georgie?

Georgie, what’re you doing?

[Beat starts]


[Georgie & Cheney:]
Ok then! everybody, listen up!

I’m goin to hell, who’s comin’ with me?

Somebody, please help him!


i think Georgie’s gone crazy!

[Verse #1:]

There’s no mountain i can’t climb
There’s no power too high,
No law I won’t learn how to defy
What do i gotta do to get through to you, to show you
There’s no Islamofascist I won’t take this chainsaw to

[Rove Makes Chainsaw Sound]

Fuckin’ U.S. brawn got Saddam’s balls
I cut ‘em off, i got ‘em pickled and bronzed in Reagan’s jelly bean jar
Inside of a hall, with my framed autographed,
Sunglasses with John Kerry’s name, on my drag wall
I’m out the closet, i been lying my ass off
All this time, me and Osama been fucking with hats off

Suck it Georgie


So tell the David Gregory and the rest to back off
Before i push this motherfucking button and blast off
And launch one of these newculears, and that’s all

[Rove Makes Explosion Sound]

Blow every fucking thing, except afghanistan on the map, off
When will it stop? When will I knock the crap off?

Cheney, tell ‘em baby

Georgie has lost it

There’s really nothin’ else to say, I… I can’t explain it

I think Georgie’s gone crazy

A little help from Dick Cheney, won’t you tell ‘em baby

I think Georgie’s gone crazy

There’s nothin’ you could do or say that could ever change me

I think Georgie’s gone crazy

There’s no one on earth that can save me, not even Cheney

I think Georgie’s gone crazy

It’s like the liberals always told me

[Georgie Impersonates Liberals]

Rana Rana Rana Rana Rana Rana Rana Rana Rana Rana,
and liberty and goddamit, you little motherfuckers
If you aint got nothin’ nice to say then don’t say nothin’

Uh, George

There’s really nothin’ else to say, I… I can’t explain it

I think Georgie’s gone crazy

A little help from Dick Cheney, won’t you tell ‘em baby

I think Georgie’s gone crazy

There’s nothin’ you could do or say that could ever change me

I think Georgie’s gone crazy

There’s no one on earth that can save me, not even Cheney

I think Georgie’s gone crazy

[Verse #3:]

My speeches can make you cry, take you by surprise
And at the same time, make scratch your head after the same lies
See what you’re seeing is Karl Rove at work
Which to him isn’t work, so it’s easy to misinterpret it at first,
Cuz when i speak, it’s to tell you it’s bleak
I’d yank my fuckin teeth before id ever bite my tongue
I’d raise taxes, and give gay’s rights twice at once
And die and come back as Al Gore’s son
And walk around the rest of my life spit on
And kicked and hit with shit, every time i spoke
And that’s pretty much the gist of it, liberals are pissed, but my base love

There’s really nothin’ else to say, I… I can’t explain it

I think Georgie’s gone crazy

A little help from Dick Cheney, won’t you tell ‘em baby

I think Georgie’s gone crazy

There’s nothin’ you could do or say that could ever change me

I think Georgie’s gone crazy

There’s no one on earth that can save me, not even Cheney

I think Georgie’s gone crazy

ha ha
You’re funny Georgie!


Violence and death in Iraq continue to plummet to record lows!

September 14, 2006

With car bombings no longer constituting murder or death, a car bomb going off in Iraq today that left two U.S. soldiers dead, is being pointed to by the administration as more proof that staying the course in Iraq is working.

“I think it just goes to show, that violence is in its final throes in Iraq,” said an unidentified U.S. spokesman.

Even better news came later in the day, when U.S. body counters decided that bullets to the head no longer constituted murder or violence, but would be marked down as “Internal Head Malfunction.”

“We truly believe math can prove anything, and that as long as we stay in Iraq, our need for better mathematicians will continue to grow,” said the spokesman. “And everyone knows that U.S. mathematicians are 123rd best in the world.”

Finally, GOP congressmen have been working around the clock after the UN nuclear watchdog protested over a U.S. report on Iran’s nuclear program, calling it “erroneous” and “misleading.”

Later today or early tomorrow, bill H.T. 1721 is likely to pass along party lines. The bill will permanently change the meanings of the words “erroneous” and “misleading” to “true” and “Islamofascism.”


America’s news media needs to be disbanded: Reason No. 1,367

September 13, 2006

Today at, these stories are running at the top of the page:

Death of Anna Nicole’s son ‘suspicious’

Whitney Houston ends tumultuous marriage (They sent out a “Breaking News” e-mail for this item, as well)

Former teacher: Sex with pupil ‘really bad choice’

Poisoned pigeons fall on city streets

Inmate decks lawyer, tries to escape courtroom

Film that shows Bush’s death coming to America

Jane Fonda says Lindsay Lohan needed scolding

While this story is buried down below, under the Politics section:
Senate GOP torpedoes proposed limits on wiretapping

If you work for CNN, quit. It’s your only hope at salvation.

Of course, at Fox News, which is highlighting:

Pedophile Double Standard?!
‘Factor’ Investigation — 8pm ET

Quiting isn’t enough. Suicide is truly the only honorable way out now. Sorry, it’s just how it is. If you really wanted to be a whore that desperately, you knew how to get to downtown.


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