William K. Wolfrum

Today, I spent some time on a farm in Brazil and even enjoyed some horseback riding. It was truly enjoyable. While a group of us rode our horses, the farmer siddle up by me and made some conversation. I’m not the best conversationalist in Portuguese, but we did ok.

“You’re from the United States?”

“Yeah, California.”

“Is that as big as Texas?”

“They are both pretty big.”

“A lot of nice beaches in California, right.”

“Yep, lots.”

“Do you like Bush?”

When you’re American “Do you like Bush?” means this: “Do I like you?”

–wkw

Sometimes you just put up with things. Certain things become a part of your life, and before you know it, you just can’t get rid of them. It’s almost as if destiny has decreed that you need to put up with it, and you find yourself unable, and sometimes even unwilling to act.

Some things just become a part of your life, whether you want it or not

Like Afonso.

Thanks for a great year, little guy. You’ve become a comfortable, secure, playful and happy dog, and you’ve been the perfect complement to our other dogs and to our life. We are just crazy about you, you little mutt.

P.S.: I just noticed I made it through a blog post without preaching. Let me rectify that: If you’re in the market for a dog, cat or other pet, go adopt and rescue one. You’ll be really glad you did.

P.S. II - P.S. Harder: Also, give some love to Dogs Deserve Better, Tammy Grimes’ great site where she fights against leaving dogs chained.

Now let’s leave Afonso alone in the sun for a while.

–WKW

First, an apology to my doting reader(s). The last couple months have been appallingly hit and miss here, and I feel bad about that. It honestly is strange how committed I feel to this blog, and how I feel bad abandoning it for any amount of time. As I was with my parents to help out and visit while my Mother fights Leukemia, I don’t feel too bad about it, really, but I do feel bad about not posting enough.

So I anticipate this week to be posting with more regularity. One place I should be posting a lot is at my WorldGolf.com blog, where I will be taking several different looks at the upcoming Masters tournament. There is a long history of racism and sexism at Augusta National in Georgia where the Masters is played, and I intend to cover those subjects as best I can. I got it started today by wondering who are the people gambling on golf and how do they do it.

Mainly, if you’re reading this, I just wanted to say thanks for being a reader. It’s something I truly appreciate and care about.

Bill

My Mom woke up the other night at 3 a.m. Which meant my Dad was awoken by her at 3:15 a.m. She was worried about the upcoming bone marrow drive. Would we have enough seats? Were we prepared? Was everything going to run smoothly?

My Dad asked her why she was worrying about it when the only responsibility she was given for the drive was to be there. She was just worried, she said, and ended up falling back to sleep at around 4 a.m.

So it’s good to see my Mom is really back to her old self. Because that’s what she does. She worries. To say she was a control freak would be just a slight understatement. But such is her way, and that she’s looking for things to control means she must be feeling well.

The Bone Marrow Donor Drive is tomorrow, and is sponsored by the National Marrow Donor Program. It’s been a moderate amount of work to put together at worst. It really hasn’t been a chore, especially because it was easy to get a place to host it - that place being the California Route 66 Museum.

We’re hoping to get a lot of people registered, but we’re being realistic. Whatever happens happens and won’t be due to a lack of effort. We got the word out for this event.

But I’ll be spending the rest of my life getting the word out that people need to get on the Bone Marrow Donor Registry.

Yesterday I spoke with Emru Townsend, who suffers from the same type of leukemia as my Mom but with a couple bonus ailments, and he said something that really hit home.

“Were you like me when you found out about this?” he asked. “Were you just wondering why everybody hasn’t signed up to be a donor?”

And it’s true. It requires very little. While there is a normal fee of $52 for tissue typing, that fee can usually be worked around. By working with the National Marrow Donor Program, I got our fee knocked down to $20. Plus minorities are free. Plus if you don’t have $20 to spare, you can still sign up.

To get on the registry requires just a painless swab from the inner cheek. To be a donor requires a minor procedure that is akin to getting a cavity filled. Assuming the cavity was located in your lower back, of course. There are potential complications. But there are potential complications in crossing the street, and lots of people seem willing to do that every day.

So hopefully tomorrow will be a glorious day where hundreds of people register and my Mom’s perfect match will be found. But even if not, the word is getting out a little more and there will be a few more people on the registry.

There are thousands of people looking for the perfect match so they can receive a bone marrow transplant to live. My Mom is just one of those people, as is Emru Townsend. But there are thousands out there, and your bone marrow may be what they need to live.

So please, wherever you are, join the bone marrow donor registry. You may give someone the gift of life. And pass the word along. Thanks.

Bill

A couple days ago, my Mom learned what models have being saying for years now, normally to deaf ears: Being a model isn’t easy.

But my Mom is a natural and her beauty stole the show as she and our upcoming donor drive was featured on a front-page story by the Victorville Daily Press. You can click here or click the photo to see the story, which was well-written by Beatriz E. Valenzuela. Reneh Agha was the photographer and he made my Mom feel at ease during the shoot, which was held at the California Route 66 Museum, where our donor drive will be held on March 29.

As well as capturing the spirit of our drive, Valenzuela did a very good job of pointing out how important it is for people of all ethnicities to get on the bone marrow registry. Being a different race does not preclude one from being a match from someone of another race, but the percentages favor someone of the same race being the perfect match.

For better information on that, and a great deal of information on Bone Marrow transplants and the need for donors in general, head over to Emru Townsend’s site. Townsend is of African-Caribbean descent, and he’s quite well aware of how ethnicity plays a part in the donation process and the need for ethnic donors. Like my Mom, Emru needs a bone marrow transplant to live.

I’d like to thank the Victorville Daily Press (where I once worked many moons back) for helping my Mom and helping us tell people about the drive and the need for bone marrow donors. I’d really appreciate if you took a visit to their site to see the story (which includes a couple controversial and colorful quotes from yours truly) and give them some of the love they showed my Mom, as well as everyone searching for that perfect match.

–WKW

Just 10 more days. I really miss you. I’m just the luckiest man.

I love you,

Bill

Yesterday I got my ass handed to me by my Mom in Scrabble. 345-313. She clinched it about half-way through when she put down all her letters for “Derange.” When we figured it out to be 81 points she said, very sweetly with just a hint of patronizing, “Well, that’s not so much for a seven-letter word.”

“No Mom, it’s actually pretty good,” said I, in a 100-point plus hole that I could never climb out of, as my Mom silently reveled in her triumph. She is sweet, but highly competitive, which is probably why all of us feel she will win her battle with Acute Myeloid Leukemia.

So my Mom is home now again. She had to spend an extra 10 days in the hospital after getting a bad stomach infection due to having a nearly non-existent immune system after her latest round of chemo. Two days ago was the first day she could eat real food again after living two weeks eating only broth and Jello and dropping to about 105 pounds. Yesterday she made her old favorite, homemade chicken noodle soup, and my Mom, Dad and I ate til we dropped. Damn it was good. Then my Mom planted her little body on the couch. “Monk” was on, you know.

It’s great to see my parents together in their little routine; my Mom making sure everything is clean and in its place, my Dad either looking for something he misplaced or telling my Mom which pill she should take and when. Then marking it down. And checking it off. Occasionally my Dad will give his political views which are, well, a little too Little Green Footballs for my taste. But I politely turn the other cheek when he explains how nuking Iran would really settle down everything in the Middle East. Many of us have learned that talking politics with your parents is not always the best idea, and now, with larger issues on the table, for us, political differences are quite irrelevant.

So luckily my Dad’s power to run the country are somewhat limited, and the stuff he does have power over he does well and is as nice a guy as you’ll ever meet in person. One thing I will always give him credit for is this: He owned a trucking company for years, and if all businesses or corporations handled things the way he did, it would be a better country indeed. He didn’t need anyone telling him what the minimum wage is because he always paid more (except to me, when as a pre-teen and teen he’d hire me to unload trucks and pull weeds.)

But he treated his workers with respect, paid them well, gave them health insurance and even matched donations into their retirement plans up to a certain amount. Keystone Trucking Service is gone now, but it was a business he was proud of and rightly so. As an old-school Republican, he talked the talk, but he also walked the walk, and a lot of drivers made some very good money in the three decades or so he had his company.

My parents have now pretty much accepted that a bone marrow transplant is their best and really only option. My Mom is in remission now, but that can only last for so long, possibly not even a year. She will soon undergo more chemo in preparation for the transplant, though no donor has been found as of yet.

We’re having a Marrow Donor Drive on March 29, and if you’re anywhere near the High Desert, California area, let me know and I’ll tell you all about it. I can also send anyone interested a flyer, and if anyone knows how to turn a Microsoft Word document into a Jpeg, let me know, it would be most helpful. And, like I wrote before, if you have any questions or would like to help in any way, please e-mail me at wkwolfrum(at)gmail(dot)com or check out marrow.org to learn more about the incredible need for bone marrow donors this country faces.

So that’s where we’re at. Living life one day at a time as best as possible. It’s wonderful to see my Mom feeling so good and enjoying her life again without any problems. She’s just this happy little control freak who does the “warsh” as a form of relaxation. Like most from Pittsburgh, she’s an interesting one, my Mom.

I just want her to stay around longer. At 67, she is sharp and happy and beautiful. Even if it means losing at Scrabble again and again, I don’t want my Mom to go yet.

–WKW

In the legendary debate between Gilligan’s Island stars Ginger and Mary Ann, it is now official who the winner is: Mary Ann thoroughly smokes Ginger:

This undated photo, supplied by the Teton County Sheriff’s Department, shows Dawn Wells, the actress who played ‘Mary Ann’ on Gilligan’s Island, who was sentenced Feb. 29, 2008, to five days in jail, fined $410.50 and placed on probation in Idaho after pleading guilty to one count of reckless driving. The guilty plea came as part of an agreement with prosecutors in which three misdemeanor counts — driving under the influence, possession of drug paraphernalia and possession of a controlled substance stemming from an Oct. 18, traffic stop — were dropped. (AP Photo/Teton County Sheriff’s Department)

Party on, Dawn.

–WKW

Hey everyone, just wanted to let you know that WilliamKWolfrum.com now features the state-of-the-art blog accessory of allowing comments! This is really exciting for all of us here, and we promise to now blog more at this site.

So comment away. I just may comment back. After all, you know you seek my approval and love. And if you comment, you may just get it. Probably not, but you won’t know unless you try!

Regards,

Bill.

P.S. Thanks, Gene.

Last week I learned that my Mom may not live to see 2009.

Previously I had written about my Mom, an ovarian cancer survivor who was diagnosed with Acute Myeloid Leukemia on December 6, 2007. She underwent chemotherapy almost immediately after and left the hospital after 31 days there with the doctor saying her Leukemia was in remission. It wasn’t.

As I write this now, my Mom is finishing another round of chemotherapy, and hopefully will be back home by Wednesday. She’s currently feeling the effects of this round of chemo, with the nausea, vomiting, diarrhea and other side effects that go along with it.

My wife and I have spent the last 10 days or so here in Southern California with my parents, spending time with my Mom at the hospital and learning as much as we can about the disease. Last week, along with my sister, we met with the doctor that has been directing the effort to get a bone marrow transplant set up for her.

The doctor’s name is Peter Falk, which is good for a laugh at a time when laughter can be a bit forced. We all sat as he outlined my mother’s situation and asked him questions about what can be expected.

With just chemotherapy, there is a chance she will live a year or less. With a bone marrow transplant, a possibility of a cure exists, but the procedure is brutal with myriad potential complications. It is by no means she would survive that cure, especially at the age of 67. There are currently 24 potential donors, and we will find out soon whether any of them are a close enough match for my Mom.

Being a news junkie, I see and write about the death of others more often than I’d like. And no life is more important than another. But this is my Mom. And I love her more than I could ever express in a blog post. And the world would not be lessened if she wasn’t part of it for as long as possible.

My Mom is a 4-foot-11, 120-pound powerhouse. She handled a brutal chemo treatment and two surgeries to defeat ovarian cancer. She cares about others far more than she cares about herself, and even now from her hospital bed her main concerns are how everyone is is doing.

My Mom is as intelligent a woman as I have ever known, and my wife has wistfully imagined what she could have accomplished if her life was one that led her to college and career. She would have been brilliant in any field, but as any son is selfish of his mother, I’m glad she saved her brilliance for raising me and my sisters.

My Mom is as competitive a person as you will meet, and will thrash just about anyone - myself included - in Scrabble. But whether it’s cards, board games, bingo or anything else, you can always see a small look of pain the few times she loses.

My Mom loves Jeff Gordon and the Pittsburgh Steelers. And if you want to find deals shopping, my Mom will find them.

My Mom is always one of the first to respond when anyone has any problem, health or otherwise. She is quick to donate her time to worthy causes.

My Mom has loved and been married to my Dad for nearly 50 years.

My Mom is a spectacular, wonderful woman, and I want her to stay around to enjoy her grandchildren and her great-grandchild.

We’ve had a lot of questions about how people can help, and I’d like to point you in a couple of directions. One, should my Mom undergo the bone marrow transplant, she will need blood and platelets. This is something the nation always needs actually, and we advise contacting your local American Red Cross, which you can find by clicking here. It is an easy to navigate Web site, but if you need to talk to someone in person, call them at 800-RED-CROSS.

As for donating bone marrow, here is a great place where you can learn nearly everything you need to know about being a donor and the how the transplant works. It’s the National Marrow Donor Program and can be found at Marrow.org. You can contact their Donor Advocacy Program here: 1 (800) 654-1247 and they will get back to you promptly and answer any questions you may have.

Here is an easy way to find out about where to find a donor drive near you. Go to this page and look on the right-hand side of the page. You will see a ‘Find a Donor Drive’ box, where you can enter your zip code and find the closest place to get on the registry. It does not involve drawing blood, and usually just a swab from your inner cheek will give them the DNA they need.

To get on the registry will cost $52 to get the work done on your sample. So if you are someone who doesn’t qualify as a donor, giving money to this program is also very valuable, as it can defray costs for others. Also, we are hoping in the future to have a drive in my mother’s name both here in the High Desert of California, and possibly in Pittsburgh, as well. I will keep you posted.

There’s a long road ahead for my Mom and Dad and for everyone that loves them, and we truly appreciate your thoughts, prayers and kind words. For those that have asked what they can do and said that they wish they could do more, I’d strongly advise going to Marrow.org and Leukemia.org and reading everything they have. Being educated on the subject of leukemia and on bone marrow transplants will truly help you feel more connected to my Mom during this journey.

But basically, this post is a plea for help. Any type of help you can give would be wonderful. If you’re interested in starting a donor drive in your area, contact Pat Conlee at the National Marrow Donor Program at (714) 800-1630. She has been a wonderful, caring resource for me during this time, and I plan to work with her now and in the future to help those that need marrow transplants, and to help find ways to get people on their registry without having to pay the $52 fee.

Also, my Mom has a Web site up where people can share their words with her. If you send me an e-mail at wkwolfrum(at)gmail(dot)com, I’ll give you the information for that site. But whether it’s money, blood, bone marrow, kind words or prayers, anything you can offer during this time will be gladly accepted and appreciated. And for those of you with Web sites, if you could link to this post that would be wonderful.

There are still many decisions yet to be made and many forks in the road that will need to be navigated, but writing this from my Mom’s home, I can truly say we have an abundance of hope, love and optimism. And every kind word, thought or prayer adds to that.

My Mom is amazingly strong and facing this illness with a bravery I could never imagine having. And she will beat this. But even with her amazing strength and bravery, she needs help to do it from doctors, nurses, family, friends, and well-meaning strangers.

Thank you again, and should you have any questions, please feel free to send me an e-mail - wkwolfrum(at)gmail(dot)com.

Bill