Readables …

Yeah, but check these posts out …

Osborne Ink: What the heck was going on in Qincy, Il.? Not what right-wingers think.

Alternet: Surprising Facts About ‘Our Enemy’ Iran Remind Us That We Don’t Know Squat.

Angry Black Bitch: Spill, Baby, Spill.

Think Progress: Even Marco Rubio is rethinking off-shore drilling.

Focal Point: Study: Canadians Live Longer, Healthier Lives Than Yanks.

Crooks & Liars: Tens of thousands march In Major Cities for Immigration Reform.

Jesus’ General: Celebrating freedom with drunken gun play.

–WKW

Andrew Breitbart accuses me of sexual harassment

I truly enjoy Twitter. I find it a great place to locate new readers, a place to meet a wide variety of people, and a place to be creative.

Honestly, for a person like me who considers the Internet his own personal comedy routine, Twitter is just perfect. I tend not to deal much with writers’ block, anyway, and Twitter lets me just hurl things against the wall and see what sticks.

Which brings me to my story: On Tuesday, out of boredom, I Tweeted this “challenge” to Jake Tapper and Andrew Breitbart:

“I want to engage in an MMA-style fight for charity against @jaketapper and/or @AndrewBreitbart. I think Tapper’d be tougher.”

Tapper (who I’ve mocked in the past but has been quite pleasant to me lately) initially was somewhat confused, but then went along with the joke:

“You know who’s tough? Rahm (Emanuel). Short but wiry and tenacious.”

Kudos to Jake. That, plus his reportedly decent job on “World News” essentially means you won’t see any more random attacks on him around here anymore. He’ll have to earn his attacks like everyone else.

Breitbart decided to take it a whole new direction, however:

“are you aware you typed your homoerotic fantasy for all to see?”

I was a little surprised by this line of attack, as I consider MMA to be a decidedly non-sexual type of combat. But fun was being had, so I responded:

“You couldn’t handle my homoerotic fantasies.”

Which is when Breitbart went off the rails, responding:

“technically, my response was to your vulgar dreamworld sado-masochistic sex harassment – and was not a judgment on your sexuality.”

And that was how it came about that journalist Andrew Breitbart accused me of sexually harassing him. Per my lawyers, that’s about all I can say on this matter.

Though I will say this: It is a libel with real-world repercussions. One can only hope the media will sternly investigate Breitbart’s outrageous claims.

–WKW

On the road again

I’ll be traveling the next couple days and will resume posting on Monday. While I’m away, here’s a couple things you can do to keep you busy as you impatiently await my return:

• Listen to the Driftglass and Blue Gal Podcast I hear they mention me at least once).
• Take a look at my latest post at Alan Colmes’ Liberaland, entitled “SEC Takes On Goldman Sachs – A Sea Change Or A Big Fish To Calm Waters?” (And maybe take some time to praise Alan on his decision to add me as a contributor).
• Ask acanuck at Dagblog about his new toaster

And finally, if it gets to much for you, just look at the photo below and remember that the fun and frivolity will be back shortly.

See ya soon,

Bill

I sea Tea-d People

I have traveled far across the United States of America, but, as I prepare to leave this great nation, I had never before seen a grand display by the Tea Party. Luckily, here in Apple Valley, about 450,000 30 of them congregated near a Wallgreens to show their hatred of dictators, taxes, and non-motorized wheelchair devices:

Look out, Washington. The White Man shall rise again. Most likely to go pick up their meds at the Wallgreens, but still.

–WKW

Good bye, Jon Swift

Blogger Jon Swift died on Feb. 27. His mother left this comment on his blog:

I don’t know how else to tell you all who love this blog. I am Jon Swift’s Mom and I guess I’m going to OUT him. He was Al Weisel, my beloved son. Al was on his way to his father’s funeral in VA when he suffered 2 aortic aneurysms, a leaky aortic valve and an aortic artery dissection from his heart to his pelvis. He had 3 major surgeries within 24 hours and sometime during those surgeries also suffered a severe stroke. We, his 2 sisters, his brother, his partner and his best friend since he was 9 years old were with him as he took his last breath. We have all lost a shining start who warmed our hearts, tormented us and made us laugh as he giggled at our pulling something over on us. He passed away on February 27, 2010. My beloved child will live on in so many hearts. I miss him more than I can say. If you are on Facebook, go to organizations and join “Friends of Al Weisel, Unite!” It will give you just a taste of how special he was. Farewell, Jon (Al)

Jon/Al was the best political satirist on the Internet, bar none. His wit and intelligence made his blog a must-read for so many of us. I was fortunate enough to at least share several e-mails with him, and he was always nothing but friendly, kind and supportive. If I needed a favor from him, he came through. If I needed advice, he came through. That’s what he did. He came through. For me and many, many others, both in life and on the blogosphere.

I’m at a loss. And so is everyone who took in his brilliance. My deepest condolences go out to his family, friends and loved ones. We all grieve with you. We all lost someone incredibly special.

Thank you, Jon Swift.

Thank you, Al Weisel.

–WKW

Samba Bill & the Road to Carnival – the complete series

Last year I was luck enough to perform during Carnival in Brazil at Rio de Janeiro’s famed Sambódromo as part of the Imperatriz Leopoldinense Samba School. Below is the five-part series I wrote about the journey.
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I’m huge in Germany

Thus far in 2010, the German media has been much more interested in me than the U.S. Media. To whit, via Frankenpost:

Naila – Seit einigen Jahren betreibt Hans Wolfrum in seiner Freizeit mit Begeisterung Ahnenforschung. So ist es ihm schon gelungen, zahlreiche Kontakte zwischen ehemaligen Nailaer Bürgern, die in den 20er-Jahren ausgewandert sind und heute in den USA leben, und ihren hier lebenden Angehörigen zu knüpfen.

Auch in diesem Jahr ist es Wolfrum, Studiendirektor am Jean-Paul-Gymnasium in Hof, gelungen, zwei Amerikaner auf die Spuren ihrer Familie zu führen. William Wolfrum Senior und Sohn aus Pittsburgh/ Pennsylvania unterbrachen extra ihren Urlaub in Italien, um einen zweitägigen Abstecher nach Naila zu machen. Sie besuchten ihren Cousin Werner Bischoff von der Nailaer Spedition Geis.

I’m “und sohn.” My Hasselhoffian journey is under way.

–WKW

Billy and the Bat-Dog

Billy was afraid of Bats. “Run away!” he’d shreik when he saw one. “It’s a flying Rat!”

But one day Billy stumbled into a Cave, optimistic like a knave. When his wee little eyes adjusted, his mind nearly busted.

“There are Bats everywhere here! I’ve got to get in the clear!”

But as Billy started to flee, his eyes couldn’t believe what they started to see! Right in the middle of those bats so gruesome, was a puppy dog so handsome!

And so Billy took the dog from it’s scary cave and brought him back to his home enclave. And he met Max and Afonso and Duchess and Jack. And the puppy was so happy he knew he’d never go back.

And Billy was happy and named his new Bat-Dog José Aparecido, just to mess with you. But please meet this little dog from the street – if you’re not sure what to say, just call him Zé.

–WKW

Chronicles: The Kindness of German Strangers

Note: This is the first effort in what I will be calling the “Chronicles” which will be essays that will hopefully create a running theme over time. There is no order for these and I have a lot of different subjects to write about, and will be delving more into myself personally, as well. This series will continue, once or twice per week, here at William K. Wolfrum Chronicles.

Chronicles: The Kindness of German Strangers

1.

My Father and I arrived in Germany 85 years after my grandfather had left. Stuck in a depressed, post-WWI Germany, my great-grandfather had left for the United State three years earlier and brought them over in 1924. After years of dallying with a related amount of dillying, my Father and I finally made the trip to see Naila, Germany, the small town (less than 9,000 residents) where my grandfather played and lived as a child. They call Naila and the surrounding area the “Bavarian Siberia,” and it didn’t disappoint. Snow to your knees, a chill in the air. Sausages lining the streets. Yes, this was Germany. We had made it back to our ancestoral homelands, and we were going to meet some long-lost family members.

Prior to our trip, we had been in contact with Hans Wolfrum, a teacher and amateur genealogist, who confirmed that many in the area were related to us one way or another. This was of particular interest to me, because in my 42 years, I’ve met very few relatives from the Wolfrum side of the family. And now here I was in Naila, the city my wife called the “Wolfrum Mecca.” Just walking down the street in Naila, I’d see Wolfrum Autohaus and Wolfrum Granite. After years of being the only Wolfrum around, I was finally surrounded by them.
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Re-Run: The Desire of the Dog

A lot of production value went into this, so I present once again, the epic short film, `Desire Out of Reach`.

–WKW

Where in the world is William K. Wolfrum’s Ipod?

Naila, Germany.

Which is kind of sad, as I am in Siena, Italy.

But that’s OK. Sometimes we like to vacation separately.

–WKW

Where in the world is William K. Wolfrum?

Zurich.

Because a guy’s gotta be somewhere.

–WKW

This one time, on a cruise ship …

[Author's Note: This was originally posted on this site on Jan. 8, 2008. But with my wife, Emilia, out of town and me deep in the throes of missing her (Don't let her know that, tho) I thought it would be a good time for a re-post]

I try not to mention my wife, Emilia, in my work because, well, I don’t know why. She sure as hell talks about me at her work. She has several bits down pat about the adventures of the silly American in a strange land.

Generally, however, I keep Emilia in the background. But I had mentioned a story in a blog post about her innocently (I’ll testify to that in court) about something we did on a cruise ship. I feel like this might be embarrassing for her, but I thought, “hey, If I just write a really sweet post about her first, I’d probably be ok on this one.” If there’s one thing they don’t teach you about marriage, it’s this – variables. Get to know them, and play them.

So anyway, this one time, on a cruise ship …

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Dear Fellow Traveler: I know the downward journey you’re on because I traveled it

Dear Fellow Traveler,

We’ve never met but I know you. Like you, I am an alcoholic. And with the difficult holiday season almost upon us, I thought I’d write to you. Because in a few months, I’ll celebrate my seventh year of sobriety. I have been on the journey to the bottom, and I am still and always will be on the journey back.

Calling you an alcoholic may be presumptuous and even rude on my part, but having been there, I am very aware that those who knew me were very much aware of my own alcoholism long before I was willing to own up to it. So friend, I say this with complete confidence – I feel your pain. I spent many years as a functional alcoholic, often waking up with that terrible hangover that’s accompanied by the guilt that comes with knowing you’ve done something shameful like making a fool of yourself in public or upsetting a loved one. And I know the feeling of what it’s like when the functional part leaves you, and all you’re left with is the alcoholic part.

I know what it’s like to have weekends disappear in a drunken haze. I know what it’s like to lie about why your work is suffering and why you take more sick days than anyone else. I know the feeling of waking up at 2 a.m. half-drunk and half-hungover and being unable to go back to sleep because every fiber in your body feels tensed and stressed and wrong. I know the downward journey that you are on, because I traveled it.

But I know that journey can be turned around and lead to a good place. Because with the help of a loving wife and family, I was able to stop. That was and continues to be a journey of its own, but more than five years into it, it is a journey of love and happiness. It is a journey that has given me restored confidence and a comfort in my own skin that I never had experienced prior.

Like you I have felt terrible humiliation and shame. But those feelings in me are gone now because I was finally honest with myself. Because I knew the journey I was on would end in tragedy. And because, more than anything, I wanted to be better, I wanted to stop drinking.

Now, I recognize my past but I feel no shame for it. And I cannot be shamed or embarrassed for it. Over the years I have taken full responsibility for my alcoholism. And the shame and fear has been replaced with pride and hope. And no one can take those feelings away from me or make me feel bad for traveling this road.

You are not a laughingstock, no matter how many try to make you one. And you are not alone. There are millions and millions of us on the same journey as you, on various stages of the path. And you have it in you to change direction.

Speaking as someone who turned around, let me tell you that it’s obviously not easy, but it is possible. You just have to honestly recognize which way you are heading and embrace it with every aching and tired fiber of your being. It can be done. And trust me when I tell you this – the road back is truly a journey worth taking. But regardless of where you are on your journey, just know that I’m your friend, and I think of you often.

Your friend and fellow traveler,

Bill

Brazilian baby rocking out to YMCA – enough said

My new friend Camilla simultaneously strengthens the stereotypes that all Brazilians can dance, and that no one can resist the Village People and YMCA.

–WKW

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