William K. Wolfrum

HELL — Despite a commitment to “Faith-Based” programs, a new report from St. John’s University shows that there are more Americans going to hell than ever before. In a retroactive study, the report shows that new U.S. entries into Hell have shot up more than 2,000 percent over the past seven years alone.

“This is just fucking awesome,” said Satan in a telephone interview.

The report breaks down the reasons for those being spent to Hades, with Pride and Greed ranking as the top two. The report also takes a look at personality types who have been sent straight to Hell over the past seven years, with “Dittoheads” and “Torture Apologists” being the most popular new members. Satan said it’s been a boom time in Hades.

“We’ve been growing by leaps and bounds,” said Satan, taking a brief respite from gorging on the entrails of Milton Friedman. “We’ve been expanding like never before.”

Satan went on to add that Halliburton has received the majority of the expansion contracts, most coming through a no-bid process.

“They really know what their doing and are the only company I can see that has the ability to make the changes we need,” said Satan.

Many believed that the emergence of “Faith-Based” programs, as instituted by U.S. President George W. Bush, would eventually slow entrances to Hell to a crawl. Instead, it’s been a virtual stampede. Some experts have claimed, however, that such a result was easy to predict.

“Let’s see, No Child Left Behind leaves behind children, the $6-billion Reading First program has left more children unable to read, abstinence-only programs have led to higher teen pregnancy rates, etc., etc.,” said a despondent Jesus Christ from a bar in Sacramento, Calif. “I’m pretty sure if the Bush Administration started a ‘Nipple Protection’ program, the U.S. would be a nipple-less society inside of six months.”

Still, while more and more Americans face up to an eternity of Hellfire, there have been some positive results. Notably, shares of Infernus Industries have risen more than 300 percent over the past quarter alone.

“Seriously, this has just been fucking fantastic,” said Satan.

–WKW

Truth and right-wing talking points generally go together like oil and water. Especially when the talking points are actually about oil. Because like most other right-wing talking points, the most common ones simply are not true.

Americans are getting gouged by high gas prices.

False.

From CNNMoney:

Relatively low taxes have kept pump prices far below most other developed nations, which some say is precisely why the current runup is so painful.
Despite daily headlines bemoaning record gas prices, the U.S. is actually one of the cheaper places to fill up in the world.

Out of 155 countries surveyed, U.S. gas prices were the 45th cheapest, according to a recent study from AIRINC, a research firm that tracks cost of living data.

The difference is staggering. As of late March, U.S. gas prices averaged $3.45 a gallon. That compares to over $8 a gallon across much of Europe.

So why does a price rise at the pump hurt Americans? Because we use more.

On a per capita basis, Americans use three times more oil than Europeans, he said. That means Americans are more exposed to rising gas prices than their counterparts across the Atlantic.

“There has not been a single new refinery built in America since 1976.”

(more…)

This is just pathetic.

“McCain blames Minnesota bridge collapse on earmarks”

ALLENTOWN, Pa. - Republican John McCain said Wednesday that the bridge collapse in Minnesota that killed 13 people last year would not have happened if Congress had not wasted so much money on pork-barrel spending.

Federal investigators cite undersize steel plates as the “critical factor” in the collapse of the bridge. Heavy loads of construction materials on the bridge also contributed to the disaster that injured 145 people on Aug. 1, according to preliminary findings by the National Transportation Safety Board.

“The bridge in Minneapolis didn’t collapse because there wasn’t enough money,” McCain told reporters while campaigning in Pennsylvania. “The bridge in Minneapolis collapsed because so much money was spent on wasteful, unnecessary pork-barrel projects.”

Something tells me the lunatic right-wing “conservatives” in the U.S. are going to start liking McCain more and more. Using the death of 13, the misery of their families and the 145 people that were injured in the bridge collapse in order to push his pandering, unrealistic and stupid “Earmarks, never again” platform? He’s proven his point. He’s as sick and demented as the rest of the “conservatives” that never met a death they wouldn’t exploit.

–WKW

From the year 2015, an excerpt from the Wikipedia biography of President John W. McCain:

“When McCain won the U.S. Presidency (controversially winning nine states by one vote each), the United States had reached lows it had not seen since the Great Depression era. With the nation at war on four fronts as he took office (Afghanistan, Iraq, Iran, Alabama), McCain quickly responded by taking an 87-day holiday and changing his middle initial to “Dubya.”

Upon returning to office, McCain continued to do little but show old movies of himself to people visiting the White House. It was under these circumstances that the U.S. reached full recovery.

It was Sept. 2009 when the “American Miracle,” as many have taken to calling it, began. First, the dollar strengthened based on absolutely nothing. Job creation also skyrocketed, as business owners around the nation decided that hiring people could be a way for their companies to stop hemorrhaging money. Acting on this news, oil prices plummeted to $42 a barrel, and the price of gas at U.S. pumps averaged $1.28 a gallon.

Health insurance rates plummeted based on the “well, everyone else is doing it,” economic theory. Wealth inequality closed dramatically as the poor were not anywhere near as poor and the rich were just slightly less rich. All U.S. infrastructure simultaneously strengthened in 2010, based on what McCain called the “successful privatization of the U.S. infrastructure.” Critics pointed out that no private companies had done anything, and that it had all just sort of “happened.”

Not long after the American Economic Miracle came the American Military Miracle. Basically, based on the news of the strengthened dollar, radical Islamicists all spontaneously gave up and supported a democratic system with a Freidman-inspired economy in Iraq, Iran, and Syria and promised never to do terrorism again. Alabama chose to continue to its Civil War battle, however, albeit it peacefully.

McCain never admitted to knowing how it all occurred, instead lavishing praise on the Conservative Ideology. “I’m a Conservative, so I knew along everything would come together,” said McCain in 2014. McCain also pointed to conservatism for the victory in the drug war, as everyone stopped doing any type of non-legal drug, all stating that they were too high on life to get high on anything else.

Former President George W. Bush was quick to take credit for most everything, however.

“I always knew my legacy would show my greatness. Now, as I live my legacy, I only look forward to an even better legacy in the years to come,” Bush told the New York Times in 2014 from his compound in Paraguay. Still, Bush was unable to exactly explain how the “American Miracle” took place. “First off, I think by sheer force of personality, I created a better world. Secondly, God.”

The McCain Presidency has been called the “Second Camelot” by many, as the public enjoyed peace and prosperity. McCain’s vibrant personality and jovial personality gave Americans a standard bearer for how to react during bad times. And by just thinking more positively as a nation, as some government officials stated, everything just magically got better.

Whether a critic or a fan, few can doubt that John McCain was the greatest U.S. President of the 21st century. Without having a plan, without actually doing anything, McCain saved the United States of America.”

–WKW

Today, I spent some time on a farm in Brazil and even enjoyed some horseback riding. It was truly enjoyable. While a group of us rode our horses, the farmer siddle up by me and made some conversation. I’m not the best conversationalist in Portuguese, but we did ok.

“You’re from the United States?”

“Yeah, California.”

“Is that as big as Texas?”

“They are both pretty big.”

“A lot of nice beaches in California, right.”

“Yep, lots.”

“Do you like Bush?”

When you’re American “Do you like Bush?” means this: “Do I like you?”

–wkw

“Do not despair. The misery that is now upon is but the passing of greed, the bitterness of men who fear the way of progress.”

Today is the birthday of Charlie Chaplin, who was born April 16, 1889. His courage and humanity came shining through in The Great Dictator, and his final speech resonates today as much as it did in 1940. He was an imperfect man, but his willingness to stand up to oppression on the world’s biggest stage set a standard that is rarely matched by those with the greatest reach.

–WKW

The time is nearing for China’s Olympics. The Olympics, combined with the World Expo in 2010 have long been pointed to as landmark events for China in its build up to superpower status both militarily and economically.

With the battles in Tibet, however, China’s human rights record is once again showing itself to be a major problem for the nation that promotes its “One nation, two systems” paradigm. Thus far, Chinese officials have shown no interest in doing much regarding its horrific record on human rights and its squelching of personal freedoms, and few other countries seem to have the fortitude or strength of character to force the issue.

There is a solution for China, however, that would reverberate around the world and show at least a minuscule effort at improving global human rights. With U.S. President George W. Bush ho-humming about China’s abuses and committing to be in China for the opening ceremonies, Chinese officials have an opening of their own.

They can ban the U.S. from competing, and not allow Bush within their borders to show that they will no longer accept the human rights violations and international crimes of the U.S.

The United States is now a nation that admittedly tortures both foreign nationals and its own citizens. The U.S. is an aggressive, warring nation currently fighting wars on two fronts while saber rattling about starting a third. The U.S. spies on its own citizens, as well as citizens of other nations. The U.S. has consistently not only shown a lack of concern about the people’s of other nations, but have actively helped murder millions whether through war, sanctions or covert actions. Those in power of the U.S. jail political opponents. When the Gulf Coast of the U.S. was decimated by Hurricane Katrina, the U.S. government watched as the deaths piled up, then offered its citizens poisoned trailers to inhabit.

The U.S. has defied the International Court of Justice Advisory Opinion, the Anti-Ballistic Missile Treaty, the Non Proliferation Treaty, the Geneva Conventions Protocol, the UN Charter, as well as its own constitution.

Antoine Bernard, executive director of the International Federation of Human Rights, has said, “The key to peace and democracy building world-wide is accountability for international crimes.”

By banning the U.S. and George Bush from the Olympic Games, China will shine a bright light on the myriad human rights violations and international crimes of the U.S. under the Bush Administration.

While this would undoubtedly be viewed (and rightly so) as an incredibly hypocritical move by China, it would be another step in its ultimate goal of becoming the world’s next superpower.

After all, the U.S. has created the blueprint for how superpowers are allowed to act in regard to human rights abuses and international crimes. And that blueprint simply states “Do as we say, not as we do.”

–WKW

Head on over to WorldGolf.com to see the continuation of my conversation with Martha Burk, this time in feature story form: “Martha Burk’s fight against Augusta National’s all-male policy gaining momentum, she says”

The story takes a look at Burk and the “Women on Wall Street Project,” as well as her opinion on the “Curves vs. Augusta National” debate (”It’s a silly comparison,” said Burk), and more.

And, if you haven’t seen it, check out the blog post I did on Burk and the Masters golf tournament, as well, which you can find by clicking here. I’d love to hear your thoughts on both of them.

–WKW

Getting off the phone earlier this morning with Martha Burk, I was struck by one thing more than any other - her focus. For a woman who five years ago put herself on the front lines for feminism in the most visible of ways, she is still more focused than ever. And still on the front lines.

Because while the golf establishment decided that Burk was a non-factor, the rest of the nation took notice. The fact that Augusta National is a sexist organization became blindingly clear to many due to Burk’s 2003 protest at the Masters. And the fact that it remains that way due to a member list that consists primarily of CEOs, politicians and the like is also equally obvious.

I wrote a blog post about Burk and her experiences before and after the 2003 Masters at WorldGolf.com. You can read that post by clicking here. I am also working on a feature story for WorldGolf.com that will take the story even further.

When I told Burk that the blog post I wrote would likely be met with by anger from the golfing community, she could not contain her laugh.

“Tell me about it,” she said.

I hope you go read the post. Because it was truly a pleasure to speak with the indomitable Martha Burk.

–WKW

Simply put, John McCain has all but stood up and said “I will give you the exact same thing that Bush has given you,” during his topsy-turvy road to being the GOP nomination for President. Plus, he has proven that things like stopping torture and global warming - two issues he has taken very firm stands on in the past - are things he will vote against and then go on saying he’s a supporter.

Basically, John McCain is an older, more war-worshiping version of George W. Bush, and has made it clear that he believes the U.S. is headed in the right direction.

So if you like the major headlines of today, April 8, 2008, vote for John McCain:

- Petraeus calls for halt to Iraq troop pull out

- Al-Sadr Threatens to End Cease-Fire

- Pending home sales index falls 1.9% in February

- Fed concerned about prolonged and severe economic downturn

- Medical Errors Costing US Billions

- Defiant Iran expands nuclear operation

- Israel holds emergency drill amid attack worries

- Five U.S. troops killed in Iraq

The 2008 U.S. Presidential election comes down to one simple thing - if you read the above stories and think the last eight years have made the U.S. a better place, then vote for John McCain. It’s just that simple.

–WKW