William K. Wolfrum’s Morning – The Danger Zone

Tommy Maddox turns 39 today. He may not have been one of the better quarterbacks in Pittsburgh Steelers history, but he never raped anyone, and that’s a good thing.

Wolfrum’s Word

Say what you will about British Petroleum’s PR effort, but as it stands now, it’s been brilliant. Just get Obama to say all’s clear, swim somewhere vaguely near the Gulf of Mexico and all is forgiven. But all is not forgotten, and won’t be for a long, long time. See more at my latest post at Alan Colmes Presents Liberaland.

News/Politics

Hurricane Earl: North Carolina braces for its imminent arrival.

Discovery Drama: The Left will point to the Right and the Right will point to the Left, but the fact is, hostage-taker James Lee was just a very sick man.

Afghanistan: More dead.

Iraq: Gosh, now that it’s over, there are just so many people to thank. We’ll let the Iraqis get their thank yous in later.

Listen

There’s been a lot of commentary around here about people getting songs stuck in their head. I feel left out, so:

You won’t get that combo of music and video out of your heads for weeks. Take that.

Blogs

Sadly, No!: There will be no signs in the Muslim-Hate Room.

TPMDC: Oh the fun we’ll have when Republicans shut down the government.

His Vorpal Sword: Dear God, Ben Smith sucks.

Open Left: What the Elites are trying to steal from us and why.

–WKW

STFU about “Moneybombs”

I dream that the next candidate that holds a “MoneyBomb” fundraiser gets a staph infection caused purely by hubris.

I’m sorry, I hate to be the PC police here, but “MoneyBomb?” Really? I mean, this is a country in 29 different wars police actions? With about 20 percent of the population un- or under-employed? Yeah, yeah, it works. But so does flat-out prostitution and I haven’t seen anyone jump out with a “ProstitionBomb” donation scheme. Yet.

Listen, the politician you love so much is not a “warrior.” They are just some jagoff that wants elected office, for their own personal reasons. Enough with trying to make a politician begging for money sound like a brave commando.

If you like a candidate, give them money. But maybe afterward you can “VolunteerGrenade” at a homeless shelter or something.

–WKW

William K. Wolfrum’s Morning – Make Music, Not War

The power of music during World War II.

News/Politics

Operation Iraqi Freedom is Over: Ok, it wasn’t much of an operation and freedom seems a bit ambitious. But it was in Iraq, and for this we are grateful. See full text of President Obama’s speech here.

But the Costs Continue: The U.S. will be paying out the nose for Iraq for some time yet.

[Read more]

Let’s Blog around

I just noticed something – I forgot to promote any blogs in today’s Morning post. I have to blame my own narcissism on this (if you know me, you quickly learn I’m all me, all the time.)

So, anyway, let’s rectify this, shall we?

Blogs

Balloon Juice: E.D. Kain abandons Conservatism for all the right reasons.

Equalitopia: Being Gay on the set of the Power Rangers was not a pleasant experience.

LitBrit: Lit asks the big question: Do big cats like catnip?

Answer: Yes. Yes they do.

Petulant Rumblings: Some links from a Petulant perspective.

Gary Weiss: Apparently, the SEC is totally cool now with insider trading.

Podcasts

Skeptics Guide to the Universe: Phil Plait joins the rogues for some bad astronomy and more.

The Partially Examined Life: Should Spinoza be technically considered a pantheist or atheist? I’ll expect your reports in the morning.

–WKW

William K. Wolfrum’s Morning – Dance, Tucker! Dance!

Tucker Carlson’s greatest journalistic achievement.

News/Politics

La Barbie Caught: One of Mexico’s most notorious drug lords has been caught! Also, applications now being accepted for Notorious Mexican Drug Lord. Apply at the FBI.

Hurricane Earl: It’s coming. And it looks pissed.

Scotland Takes the Lead: Now that Scotland has come up with a wind turbine that can supply energy to 1,000 homes, maybe someone else will step up.

Afghanistan Update: Death!

An Independent Iraq: Iraq has announced it is now independent. This means all hell should break loose any minute.

ObamaCare Already Paying Off: Paying off or scammers, at least. It was nice of the media to help everyone get informed on the subject, eh?

Investigating America: Remember when Republicans spent two solid years wasting time and money on investigating every last move Clinton made? And then the U.S. was attacked by al Qaeda and they blame Clinton for being investigated so much? Yeah, we’re going to try that again.

Random Thought

Being as the rest of the U.S. mainstream media refuses to call out Fox News for their false reporting and demagoguery, from here on out, I say we just lump them all in together. Example: Led by Glenn Beck, the Mainstream Media recently held a big rally about Jesus.

Entertainment

Dance, I Say!: The new stars for Dancing with the Stars have been announced. They include: Bristol Palin, Grover from Sesame Street, Mandrake the Magician, Jean Harlow, Erik Estrada, Emo Phillips, Lindsay Lohan and veteran porn star Christy Canyon. Oh, ok, for the real stars click here.

Paris Chews GREAT Gum: Paris Hilton was busted for cocaine possession. Her excuse – she thought it was gum. Cocaine-gum, just another thing that makes the rich better than you.

Palin-Land Defined

In a perfect world, Sarah Palin would be Queen and surrounded by a bunch of gun-toting Jesus Babies.

–WKW

William K. Wolfrum’s Morning – Tipping the Cow

Alan Simpson’s opinion of Social Security and those that accept it.

News/Politics

Pakistan Floods: The watery nightmare continues unabated.

NYC Cabbie Stabbed: Make no mistake, this was a text book hate crime. But what set Michael Enright off?

Help Wanted: Need nine people fluent in Ebonics. Apply at DEA.

Blagojevich Retrial: Boxing trainer Gil Clancy enjoyed telling a story about being in the dressing room with a fighter who’d just lost. “Get me him again,”the fighter said. “You just had him,” answered Clancy. The same goes with Blago. They had him, lost him, and now it’s time to move on.

Glenn Beck’s “Dream”: Be afraid. Be very afraid.

Ken Mehlman’s Outage: No surprise, of course, but maybe some of these RNC types could come out while they still have political power.

Tea Party Power: As expected, the Tea Party will be the best thing Dems have going for them this November.

Sports

Tiger Woods’ Ex speaks: Elin Nordegren speaks out for the first time, and comes off as the only likable, real character in the whole mess.

More Football: The NFL wants an 18-game season? I’m ok with that.

Blogs

Crooks & Liars: A new design and some new bloggers for the venerable (by Web standards) blog.

Emptywheel: New Wikileak: CIA Admits US Exports Terror.

The NonProfit Quarterly: Wikileaks is all about exposure. Except when it comes to its own finances.

Swampland: Even Joe Klein is wondering about the truth of “Dems being depressed with Obama.”

Paul Krugman: Every day and in every way, we’ll learn that Krugman has been right all along.

And Finally

Seth MacFarlane is an interesting case. He’ll try and break every rule in the book on his TV shows, but becomes a babbling, uncertain fool when discussing real-world events. Also of interest, the ADL complained about MacFarlane using the term “Nazi.” Five-thousand politicians have compared Obama to Hitler, but MacFarlane gets chastised? Weird.

–WKW

Neo-Elite Ugliness – Sarah & Todd Palin Edition

Via Palingates:

Sarah Palin likes public appearances – provided everything is under control, questions are pre-screened and no potentially critical soul is in sight. Spontaneous, unscripted encounters which are being taped are not her thing, which became painfully obvious when Shannyn Moore recently published “Sarah Palin’s Homer moment”. In Homer, Sarah, Todd and Willow Palin confronted the Alaska teacher Kathleen Gustafson, who put up a huge sign saying “Worst Governor Ever” – and this encounter was taped with a cell phone. This unplanned meeting with Kathleen Gustafson turned out to be a PR-disaster.

Today, we get another unscripted and unfiltered view of Sarah and Todd Palin.

Mean-spirited bullies will always thrive in the U.S. Still, mocking a small business owner and trying to intimidate him is probably a new thing to Valdez. Welcome to big-time politics, Valdez, where the smiles are for TV cameras, not normal citizens.

HT The Political Carnival

–WKW

William K. Wolfrum’s Morning – A Pee-Wee Protest

You just aren’t American if you aren’t protesting something.

News/Politics

More Bad Eggs: Remember, if you’re going to make an omelet, you’re going to have to give a few thousand people salmonella.

CIA Interrogation Tapes: If you want to make sure torture tapes are eliminated, make sure you check under the desk.

They’ve Lost Rubio: When Marco Rubio starts backing away from the Tea Party, you know the end is near.

Doled: How messed up is the Republican Party? Standard-bearer Bob Dole is donating to Charlie Crist.

Mosque Madness: A group of white people protest things they don’t understand.

Drug Testing: The easiest way to test side-effects of drugs? Test them on poor kids in impoverished nations!

Sports

See ya, Lou: I still remember Lou Piniella as a dangerous hitter for a tough Yankees team when the Yanks and Dodgers seemed to meet yearly in the World Series. He’s calling it a career now, and the Hall of Fame should be calling on him in five years time.

American Values: Guy chickens out, allowing a foul ball to hit his girlfriend. Guy then threatens to release nude pictures of her. Girl beats him to the punch.

Blogs

The Pigeon Post: The Lowest Common Denominator.

Doctor Cleveland: Dear Right Wing: Is This War or Not?

Brad Blog: America’s voting machines – now with Pac-Man!

Down With Tyranny: One city’s brave stand against paying taxes – even though it could close the only hospital and turn the place into a ghost town.

Finally

Pee-Wee goes to Sturgis.

If you find yourself needing more Pee-Wee Herman, check him out on Twitter.

–WKW

Anti-Muslim conservatives protest Liberal woman living in Hell’s Kitchen

NEW YORK – Ann Thomson, an 83-year-old widow, was awoken last last night to screams of protests by angry conservatives at her her home on 39th Street, in an area known as Hell’s Kitchen.

The protesters were angry that Thompson, a long-time liberal, had told a friend that she didn’t mind the Islamic Center being built two blocks away from Ground Zero.

Opponents chanted “No mosque, no way!” and carried signs reading, “9-11-01: Never Forget,” as Bruce Springsteen’s “Born in the USA” blared over loudspeakers.

Thomson, who has lived in the same apartment for 34 years, said she wasn’t sure what the fuss was all about.

“I read the papers and watch TV. I know that the center is for Sufi Muslims, and they are no friend to al Qaeda,” said Thomson.”

Still, the protesters, led by professional Muslim hater Pam Atlas, said having a liberal live so close to America’s Hallowed Ground was a slap in the face to all freedom loving people.

“I have records that show Thomson voted for Obama,” said Atlas, arms and legs akimbo. “If we are going to allow liberals to live within 50 blocks of the most hallowed ground in America, then we may as well just accept Sharia Law.”

For her part, Thomson seemed unperturbed by the protest.

“I just turned down my hearing aid and went to bed,” said Thomson. I had my gun ready, just in case. Because, you know, liberals are allowed to have guns, too.”

The crowd left Thomson’s building early in the morning, and went to scream at an Italian guy who was selling falafels in a cart near Broadway.

“The food of Satan,” screamed Atlas, hair akimbo.

–WKW

Read the Lyrics! Bruce Springsteen didn’t write “Born in the U.S.A.” to protest Islamic centers

Over at Alan Colmes Liberaland, I was reading about protests near the Islamic Center two blocks away from Ground Zero, when this struck me:

Opponents chanted “No mosque, no way!” and carried signs reading, “9-11-01: Never Forget,” as Bruce Springsteen’s “Born in the USA” blared over loudspeakers.

I’m well aware that the more patriotic someone is, the more they’re able to overlook the fact that Springsteen’s hit is not in fact a patriotic homage to America, but instead a song dedicated to the lower middle-class being used as fodder for war and their experiences upon returning.

But it’s really, really silly. Here are the lyrics, and you tell me if Springsteen’s aim was to tell Muslims they couldn’t build a mosque:

Bruce Springsteen – Born in the U.S.A.

Born down in a dead man’s town
The first kick I took was when I hit the ground
You end up like a dog that’s been beat too much
‘Til you spend half your life just covering up

[chorus:]
Born in the U.S.A.
Born in the U.S.A.
Born in the U.S.A.
Born in the U.S.A.

I got in a little hometown jam
And so they put a rifle in my hands
Sent me off to Vietnam
To go and kill the yellow man

[chorus]

Come back home to the refinery
Hiring man says “Son if it was up to me”
I go down to see the V.A. man
He said “Son don’t you understand”

[chorus]

I had a buddy at Khe Sahn
Fighting off the Viet Cong
They’re still there, he’s all gone
He had a little girl in Saigon
I got a picture of him in her arms

Down in the shadow of the penitentiary
Out by the gas fires of the refinery
I’m ten years down the road
Nowhere to run, ain’t got nowhere to go

I’m a long gone Daddy in the U.S.A.
Born in the U.S.A.
I’m a cool rocking Daddy in the U.S.A.
Born in the U.S.A.

Seriously, people, I’m sure some country singer has penned a song that glorifies all things America. But Springsteen didn’t. And you just look like idiots when you try and pretend otherwise.

–WKW

Obama Must Attend Westboro Baptist Church

America faces few problems worse than where and when Barack Obama goes to church. Sure, there are environmental catastrophes to worry about, an economy that shows no interest in bouncing back, wars on God knows how many fronts and unemployment high enough to make Herbert Hoover cringe.

But this is America. And Christ matters.

With 20 percent of Americans believing that Obama is actually a Muslim, it’s time for Obama to turn that tide. He and his family must join the whitest, most conservative Christian Church as possible.

This is why I believe Obama needs to start attending Westboro Baptist Church. Because if there’s one thing you can say about Fred Phelps’ group, it’s that they certainly aren’t Muslim. Crazed, hateful theocrats? Sure. But not Muslims.

Of course, Phelps and his followers have little respect for Obama, being convinced he’s the anti-Christ, and all, but a weekly excursion to Topeka, Kansas should change that. Obama is exceedingly personable and can tithe like few others. He will quickly become a popular figure.

And while some may blanch at Westboro’s “God Hates Fags” motto, Obama should be able to fit right in, not with words but with actions. Obama still believes gays and lesbians should not be allowed to serve in the military, and he also believes that Gays & Lesbians should be able to be fired for the offense of being Gay or Lesbian. At this stage of the game, Obama fits right in with Phelps’ Phreaks.

Mostly, though, church will be a place for Obama to go think. In an impromptu poll taken by the Chronicles, we’ve discovered that 80 percent of churchgoers don’t pay a lick of attention during a mass. By attending Westboro Baptist, Obama can have at least an hour of private time where he can contemplate the nation’s ills, how LeBron James will fit with the Miami Heat, and other important issues.

By attending Westboro Baptist Church, Obama will convince those 20 percent that he is not a Muslim. Sure, he’ll lose the other 80 percent entirely, but he can worry about that later. What matters now is that he just go to a Christian church. Any Christian church. Because only then can he get Politico, NPR, CNN, and other media sources off his back.

Because only by going to a Christian church regularly can Barack Obama include himself in the vast majority of Americans who go to a Christian church because they think they’re supposed to and spend the mass thinking about football.

Because, at the very least, thinking about football in a Christian church is much more politically important than debating whether Obama is Muslim or not.

–WKW

William K. Wolfrum’s Morning – Raptor Jesus Edition

Nowhere in the bible does it say that Jesus isn’t a raptor.

News/Politics

Pakistan: A slow-moving tsunami wrecks havoc, as help is slow to come.

John McCain – Winner: Say what you will about John McCain’s flip-flopping, but it will lead him to six more years in the Senate.

Bad Egg: As millions of eggs are recalled, maybe it’s time to do something about corporate scofflaw Jack DeCoster..

The Gulf is Clean!: Except for that 30-mile plume of oil underwater. But who counts that?

People

Roger Clemens indicted: Roger Clemens never took steroids. That’s his story and he’ll stay with it all the way to the slammer.

Wyclef Jean: No Presidency for you!

Blogs

The New Civil Rights Movement: Peter. LaBarbera. Homophobe.

Talking Points Memo: Sarah Palin would be appalled if a public figure used the N-word. But Dr. Laura’s cool.

Crooks & Liars: The markets have been playing as if everything is just fine with the economy. But it’s not, and they’re starting to notice.

Jesus’ General: Sept. 12 is Burn a Confederate flag day.

–WKW

I am a Conservative

This may come as a shock to many of my most loyal readers, but I am, in fact, a conservative.

Yes, my friends, I am well aware of my reputation as a liberal. But those days are now gone. Because I have had an ideological shift, and now embrace Conservatism. Here are my core beliefs:

• I believe in a woman’s right to choose.
• I believe Don’t Ask Don’t Tell and ENDA must be immediately overturned.
• I believe people with different sexual preferences than I should have all the rights I have.
• I believe in Keynesian economics and the progressive tax.
• I believe the death penalty should be abolished.
• I believe the First Amendment is about government restricting speech, not private people criticizing my ideas.
• I believe if Americans want to build something and they follow the rule of law, they should be allowed to build whatever they wish.
• I believe in amnesty for illegal immigrants currently in the U.S. and an easing of U.S. immigration laws.
• I believe Obama’s stimulus package should have been much bigger.
• I believe Barack Obama is a Blue-Dog Democrat, not a Marxist maniac.
• I believe Barack Obama is a Christian born in Hawaii.
• I believe America needs stronger unions to protect employees.
• I believe “Supply-side Economics” is a Ponzi Scheme.
• I believe in diplomacy
• I believe in a nation of 300 million, with many aging, a strong social safety net is of vital importance.
• I believe Corporations and big business need strong regulations.
• I believe in man-made Climate Change.

I believe all these things and more, and as a Conservative, I will ignore the cackle of rads who fight me. I will battle tooth and nail to be heard in the big tent of conservatism.

Whatever you may think of my beliefs is of no matter to me. I march to my own right-wing drummer. Because if Sarah Palin can say she’s a feminist, then I can proudly state that I’m a Conservative.

–WKW

William K. Wolfrum’s Morning – Nicolas Sarkozy on Line One

Sarah Palin talking with “Nicolas Sarkozy.” We must never forget.

News/Politics

V-Iraq Day: Combat troops are on their way out of Iraq. The war is over! Just ignore the 50,000 troops we left there.

Pakistan: A massive natural disaster may be just the ticket for the the Taliban.

France Says No: As previously reported, there’s no way in Hell France will give Haiti a dime. They stole that money fair and square.

A Muslim Obama: It seems 20 percent of Americans believe President Obama is a Muslim. Must be all those predator drone attacks.

Check Please: It seems like the federal government just can’t buy Alaska’s love.

Freedom of Shriek: Sarah Palin and Dr. Laura make the First Amendment mean whatever they want it to mean.

[Read more]

William K. Wolfrum’s Morning – Taxing Your Faith

When you have the money to paint your churches gold, you have enough money to pay income tax, says I.

Wolfrum’s Word

Freedom isn’t free. So why is freedom of religion tax-free? At my latest post at “Alan Colmes Presents Liberaland,” I take a look at whether it’s time to pull the non-profit rug from underneath Churches.

News/Politics

[Read more]

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