Arizona’s Jan Brewer & Joe Arpaio get serious with the media
September 2, 2010
Much has been said about Arizona Governor Jan Brewer’s performance at a debate recently. Here is a quick look at how Brewer quickly went to pieces during her opening statement:
Immediately following Brewer was Superstar AZ Sheriff Joe Arpaio (right), who in supporting Brewer fared slightly better.
Brewer’s campaign team has now said that the “headless Bodies in Arizona” story is now dead in the water. More on this story as it develops …
–WKW
William K. Wolfrum’s Morning – Make Music, Not War
September 1, 2010
The power of music during World War II.
News/Politics
Operation Iraqi Freedom is Over: Ok, it wasn’t much of an operation and freedom seems a bit ambitious. But it was in Iraq, and for this we are grateful. See full text of President Obama’s speech here.
But the Costs Continue: The U.S. will be paying out the nose for Iraq for some time yet.
William K. Wolfrum’s Morning – A Pee-Wee Protest
August 23, 2010
You just aren’t American if you aren’t protesting something.
News/Politics
More Bad Eggs: Remember, if you’re going to make an omelet, you’re going to have to give a few thousand people salmonella.
CIA Interrogation Tapes: If you want to make sure torture tapes are eliminated, make sure you check under the desk.
They’ve Lost Rubio: When Marco Rubio starts backing away from the Tea Party, you know the end is near.
Doled: How messed up is the Republican Party? Standard-bearer Bob Dole is donating to Charlie Crist.
Mosque Madness: A group of white people protest things they don’t understand.
Drug Testing: The easiest way to test side-effects of drugs? Test them on poor kids in impoverished nations!
Sports
See ya, Lou: I still remember Lou Piniella as a dangerous hitter for a tough Yankees team when the Yanks and Dodgers seemed to meet yearly in the World Series. He’s calling it a career now, and the Hall of Fame should be calling on him in five years time.
American Values: Guy chickens out, allowing a foul ball to hit his girlfriend. Guy then threatens to release nude pictures of her. Girl beats him to the punch.
Blogs
The Pigeon Post: The Lowest Common Denominator.
Doctor Cleveland: Dear Right Wing: Is This War or Not?
Brad Blog: America’s voting machines – now with Pac-Man!
Down With Tyranny: One city’s brave stand against paying taxes – even though it could close the only hospital and turn the place into a ghost town.
Finally
Pee-Wee goes to Sturgis.
If you find yourself needing more Pee-Wee Herman, check him out on Twitter.
–WKW
William K. Wolfrum’s Morning – Nicolas Sarkozy on Line One
August 19, 2010
Sarah Palin talking with “Nicolas Sarkozy.” We must never forget.
News/Politics
V-Iraq Day: Combat troops are on their way out of Iraq. The war is over! Just ignore the 50,000 troops we left there.
Pakistan: A massive natural disaster may be just the ticket for the the Taliban.
France Says No: As previously reported, there’s no way in Hell France will give Haiti a dime. They stole that money fair and square.
A Muslim Obama: It seems 20 percent of Americans believe President Obama is a Muslim. Must be all those predator drone attacks.
Check Please: It seems like the federal government just can’t buy Alaska’s love.
Freedom of Shriek: Sarah Palin and Dr. Laura make the First Amendment mean whatever they want it to mean.
Afternoon Music Break with Mark Gormley
August 17, 2010
I always try and promote young new artists here at the Chronicles. Today, we look at singer Mark Gormley and a girl who looks REALLY uncomfortable:
Now go and behold the awesome power and glory of Mark Gormley!
–WKW
HT Michael
William K. Wolfrum’s Morning – Bat Guano Crazy
August 17, 2010
Bats. Why did they have to be bats?
News/Politics
Pakistan Floods: Capitalism not stepping up to the plate to help out Pakistanis stuck in a watery hell.
We Found the Oil!: How about that? It seems 80% of the oil spewed into the Gulf of Mexico is still there. Could this mean British Petroleum … gasp … lied to us?
Iraq Violence: 50 killed by a suicide bomber, as the “victory” in Iraq gets increasingly bloody.
Karzai Kicking: Afghan President Hamid Karzai orders all private security contractors out of the country within four months. In other news, U.S. begins drawing up “Time to Go, Hamid” assassination plans.
Unemployment Lies: Five myths about unemployment.
Interesting
Batsanity: At least 500 people have been bitten by rabid vampire bats in Peru. Rabid Peruvian Vampire Bats. There can be nothing more terriofying, in my book.
Forget Her Not: Michelle Philpot’s accident left her mind stuck in 1994. Meaning that at very least, she missed the entire Bush presidency.
Blogs
Rude Pundit: The families and loved ones of 9/11 victims don’t really have a say in what happens next in NYC.
Media Matters: The further adventures of Maureen Dowd.
Glenn Greenwald: Journalistic integrity is not applicable when dealing with OMG MUSLIMS!
Talking Points Memo: Tea Partiers oppose Net Neutrality like good little GOP soldiers.
Crooks & Liars: Pam Gellar led the anti-Mosque charge. Has the U.S. media gone completely insane?
Warning
Don’t Drunk Dial Freedomworks. Just don’t.
–WKW
William K. Wolfrum’s Morning – Kill All Babies Edition
August 13, 2010
Don’t say you weren’t warned about blood-thirsty terror babies.
News/Politics
Terror Babies: Texas State Rep. Debbie Riddle believes there is a plot involving pregnant women from other countries traveling to America as tourists to give birth, and then raising the babies as terrorists. These are the death throes of a Republic.
The GOP’s Economy: David Stockman, President Ronald Reagan’s director of the Office of Management and Budget, says the GOP has destroyed the U.S. economy.
Protect the Border: President Obama to approve $600 million for border security. I guess that border fence didn’t really work out.
Net Neutrality: What the rest of the world is saying about Google and Verizon’s plan to change the Internet.
Red Alert
Bearded terrorist monkeys have been found in South America!
Blogs
EZ Kool: White supremacists are Glenn Beck’s favorite.
Right Wing Watch: Will the Right give up on California and focus on taking away the rights of others in other states?
Care2: Of course a Republican came up with a plan to put illegal immigrants into camps.
Raw Story: Google denies it’s selling out Net Neutrality.
How Slinky
So now, we can all stop wondering when someone will build a better Slinky.
–WKW
William K. Wolfrum’s Morning – Mad As Hell, Not Taking It Anymore Edition
August 11, 2010
Video of Steven Slater quitting his job at JetBlue. Yes, Faye Dunaway was there.
News/Politics
Google: The data will explode. And the Mayans will be correct. Also, Google goes to the dark side.
Alaska Plane Crash: Ted Stevens among the dead following plane crash in Alaska. Having lived in Alaska, I can tell you this – it’s a state with a lot of ways to kill you.
Gibbs Gabs: Having a press secretary showcase that the pressure is getting to him may not be the best face the Obama Administration wants to put forward.
Primaries: There were several primaries held last night throughout the U.S., with every outcome benefiting John McCain somehow.
Sports
Brazil Spanks U.S.: four years after he was fired, Bob Bradley has led the U.S. right back to where they were as 2-0 loss to Brazilian youngsters shows.
LeBron Tweets: Remember, if you said one bad thing about LeBron James, he’ll kick your ass. Or tweet something mean about you.
Blogs
Wallet Pop: The worst places in the world to live make you understand why LeBron left.
Radar Online: Former JetBlue Flight Attendant Steve Slater is the world’s greatest hero.
Equalitopia: Matty and Bobby will try and break the record for the world’s longest kiss. And they’re doing it for equality. To celebrate:
–WKW
John McCain to offer jobs to “Kathy the Teacher” and “Steven the Flight Attendant”
August 10, 2010
ARIZONA – In his latest Mavericky campaign maneuver, U.S. Senator John McCain has offered Alaska teacher Kathy Gustafson and former Jet Blue Flight attendant Steven Slater jobs within his campaign.
“Anyone who will stand up to vested Washington interests like Sarah Palin is a valuable asset,” said McCain. “Karen the Teacher could teach us all something.”
Many have questioned the McCain camp for reaching out to Gustafson, stating that Palin has endorsed McCain and that Gustafson obviously holds liberal values. Even more questions were asked when McCain reached out to Slater, who made national headlines for quitting his job via the Emergency slide. But while McCain insiders have admitted to not understanding how Gustafson and Slater will be used in the campaign, they are confident it will work out well.
“Joe the Plumber was just a fluke,” said an anonymous McCain campaign staff member. “Kathy the Teacher and Steven the Flight Attendant will rejuvenate our battle to be re-elected as Senator of the great state of Arizona, even if we don’t know anything about them.
“What could possibly go wrong,” the source added.
Gustafson and Slater could not be reached for comment. Joe the Plumber was denied the opportunity to comment.
–WKW
William K. Wolfrum’s Morning – It’ll blow your face off
August 10, 2010
Why blogging is better than spitting fire: My face almost never bursts into flames.
Census Bureau Returns Cash: Counting people isn’t as expensive as first anticipated.
Pentagon Cuts: Robert Gates wants some heavy cuts to the Pentagon budget. This could be war.
Alaska Crash: A plane goes down in Alaska, leaving 8 dead and friends worried that Ted Stevens was on the plane.
Damned Hippy Bloggers!: White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs says the “Professional Left” won’t be happy until the Obama Administration institutes “Canadian healthcare” and “eliminated the Pentagon.” When asked, Gibbs can’t name anyone actually involved in the “Professional Left.”
People
Levi Johnston: The wacky neighbor of the Palin Show sitcom will be running for mayor of Wasilla in his new reality show. I don’t see the big deal. They’ve had worse candidates.
Dick Cheney: The Man Without a Pulse is now freely roaming the streets, hungrily devouring brains.
Blogs
Broadsheet: Jodie Fisher made soft-core porn more than a decade before accusing HP ex-boss Mark Hurd of sexual harassment. Let the slut-shaming begin.
Glenn Greenwald: Marriage and the role of the State.
NewsHoggers: Steven Slater says take this job and slide it.
Today’s Drum: 50 Cent joins the bone marrow donor list and is encouraging other African-Americans to follow in his steps.
Joy!
I went to an “Eco Resort” in Manaus a while back, and we got to see a sloth that had been taken in by a poor family that used him as a way to make money from tourists. They are almost too sweet and cute for their own good.
–WKW
Holy Spirit quits Holy Trinity to embark on solo career
August 9, 2010
Holy Spirit announced today that he has left the Holy Trinity in order to pursue a solo career.
“For too long, I have been an overlooked member of this Supergroup, relegated to such things as telling girls when God impregnated them,” said Spirit, his mother sitting beside him for the duration of the interview. “Finally, people will get to see what my work is all about.”
Long considered the “Ringo” of the Holy Trinity to God and Son’s Lennon and McCartney, Spirit has long spoke of a potential move. While the sheer number of true followers Spirit will take with him are staggering, the fact that no one really understands the concept of the Holy Spirit will likely make a solo career tougher for him.
Spirit (Real Name: Tim Johnson) is the incomprehensible “essence of God,” but that will likely be a tough sale says industry analyst Jens Beckerhenmen.
William K. Wolfrum’s Morning – Solve me with your God Number
August 9, 2010
Erik Akkersdijk once solved a Rubik’s Cube in 7.08 seconds. Today, that record doesn’t mean jack, thanks to God’s number.
News/Politics
A Congress Divided: The House of Representatives wonder what their Senate counterparts are waiting on.
Trial for Youngest Gitmo Detainee: And it seems like yesterday he just started talking.
Wealth Give Away: Bill Gates and Warren Buffet are getting other billionaires to donate big chunks of their estates to charity. This creates a special new job, by the way – killing billionaires. You know, for charity.
Geeking Out
Quality on Twitter: On Twitter, it’s not how many follow you, but how awesome your followers are, or something.
Fast Company: Digg, WikiLeaks, and Censorship, American Style.
Quick Movie Review
Sex and the City 2: By the end, I hated sex and the city. I hated the characters and their clothes. I hated marriage and children. And I was pro-Sharia Law. Rating: D- (On the plus side, the boom never fell into the screen).
People
Mia Farrow: Now Mia Farrow says Naomi Campbell is telling a lie of the witness stand. The Liberia case at The Hague may become the first major trial of a warlord covered by Perez Hilton.
Patricia Neal: The Oscar-winning actress dies at age 84.
Stephen Hawking: Ok, we get it, humanity is doomed.
Blogs
Alternet: Seems someone on the Right discovered Digg.
Emptywheel: Obama does little to defend progressive nominees.
Mother Jones: A conservative that wasn’t conservative enough talks Tea Party.
Frank Rich: And in rides George W. Bush to the Democrats rescue.
HolyTaco: You too can write a Black Eyed Peas song.
Cube20.org: The God Number has been found. Rubik’s Cube has been solved. Nothing much to do now but wait around to die.
And Finally
It’s Monday, but at least you aren’t her:
–WKW
John Edwards to run for President in 2012 as ‘Newt Nullifier’
August 5, 2010
WASHINGTON – Humiliated former U.S. Senator John Edwards has announced to friends that he will likely campaign for the Presidency of the United States in 2012 as an Independent. Edwards will run under a singular campaign platform “What About Newt Gingrich’s Affairs?”
Those close to the Obama Administration said the Obama campaign reached out to Edwards recently. Edwards – originally thinking the call was to offer him a cabinet position – eagerly agreed to anything the President offered. What the President wanted was a fall guy, and few have fallen further than Edwards.
“John Edwards needs to pay penance to the Democratic Party,” said a White House Source. “Here’s how he pays us back.
The plan – leaked earlier today by Twikilings, Tucker Carlson’s new Web site – will call for Edwards to run only if Newt Gingrich runs for the GOP nomination for President. If that’s the case, Edwards will “take one for the team” and run on a purely “Hey, Newt did it more than me” platform,” financing his campaign personally.
“John is ready to do whatever it takes to show his supporters he’s back,” said a source close to the Edwards family. “John McCain survived an affair and horrible campaigning issues and he survived, so will John Edwards.
“And remember, Newt did it, too,” added the source.
–WKW
William K. Wolfrum’s Morning – August 4, 2010
August 4, 2010
If Bill Cosby would just remember that he made “Leonard Part 6,” maybe he’d rethink his stance on living.
News/Dinosaurs
Iran: Many an Iranian will look back to this day as the day someone almost killed Ahmadinehad.
Oil Spill: Static Kill appears to be working, says BP. No one sure any longer what any of this means. We’ll have to wait for Operation Slapping Translator. Until then, just assume everything is just fine.
Triceratops: No, there was no Triceratops. Deal with it.
William K. Wolfrum’s Morning – August 3, 2010
August 3, 2010
Despite early failures such as the one above, Jake Tapper has still managed to achieve lofty status in the D.C. media world.
News
BP Oil Disaster Wins!: I knew if we all worked separately, clinging to diverse agendas, we could make this happen. By the way, why didn’t Time convert the 4.9 million barrels into gallons? Who has a calculator?
Violence in Pakistan: We might be leaving a federal deficit for our children, but we’re also leaving them a war in Pakistan. More instability in a country that is both friend and foe.
People
Kanye West: The King of Turning Nothing into Something follows one dude on Twitter. Dude could live without it.
Mel Gibson: The one true sign that it’s over for Mel – Leonardo DiCaprio just dumped him.
Today’s Red Dawn Fetishist
Crazy bastard Paul Craig Roberts takes a look at a dark future. Six years from now:
“The first clans organized around local police forces. The conservatives’ war on crime during the late 20th century and the Bush/Obama war on terror during the first decade of the 21st century had resulted in the police becoming militarized and unaccountable.
As society broke down, the police became warlords. The state police broke apart, and the officers were subsumed into the local forces of their communities. The newly formed tribes expanded to encompass the relatives and friends of the police.The dollar had collapsed as world reserve currency in 2012 when the worsening economic depression made it clear to Washington’s creditors that the federal budget deficit was too large to be financed except by the printing of money.”
Infowars is so insane, it is almost awesome.
Blogs
Crooks & Liars: The Iraq Troop withdrawal is “on schedule,” says Obama.
Paul Krugman: The economist sees a “new definition of prosperity” coming to the U.S.
Newshounds: If the media stopped reporting the dumb things she says and does, more people would like Sarah Palin.
Gay Rights: Gay couple saves life of homophobe. No word on homophobe’s current opinion of gay marriage.
Bob Cesca’s Awesome Blog! Go!: Don’t be afraid to give George H.W. Bush a bit of credit for Clinton’s budget surplus. Also, Cesca put this video up, and he thinks it’s wicked cool. That’s enough for me:
–WKW
