Patriots! Enter the hot, new music contest for Militia Members and Get Rocked!
October 19, 2009
If you answered “yes” to those questions, then we want you to “Get Rocked!” in the Third Annual “Militia Members Get Rocked Music contest!” Why join? With a grand prize of $50,000 and a record deal from Fox News Music, you and your band will be on your way to greatness!
But there’s more! The “Militia Members Get Rocked” music contest is looking for all patriotic militia members that sing, write songs or even just enjoy music. This is the contest for everyone who believes only a full overthrow of the U.S. government will get things back to the way our Founders intended! And prizes will range from recording gear and equipment to hundreds of cash prizes!
Why are we doing it? Because we know patriotic, god-fearing Militia Members love their music and have the chance to break through. Edgy lyrics and chaotic beats are the wave of the future, and we want to catch that wave with you. Mostly though, we firmly believe that armed militias in the U.S. don’t get the attention they deserve. We know there’s a lot of you out there and we want you to Get Rocked!
Entering is easy. Just send a letter to contest headquarters, including a tape of your band, why you love music and telling us what you’ve done personally to overthrow the nation. The crazier the better! Just make sure to sign the letter. Send it to:
Militia Members Get Rocked! Music contest
J. Edgar Hoover Building
935 Pennsylvania Avenue,
NW Washington, D.C. 20535-0001
Patriots, this is your chance. We know you aren’t all about trying to cause racial wars and violent overthrow of the government with your well-armed militia. You are also about the music. So enter the contest and Get Rocked!
–WKW
Thanks to Angelos for official “Militia Members Get Rocked Poster”
Children molested by Michael Jackson: “He Molested Us and Ruined Our Lives, But Thriller was Freakin’ Awesome”
June 29, 2009
NEVERLAND – Several children that had been molested by recently deceased pop star Michael Jackson have come forward to express their thoughts on his death. While none of Jackson’s victims would use their real names out of fear of retaliation from Jackson’s fans, most marveled at the “King of Pop’s” legendary musical careers.
“He was such an amazing talent,” said Bob Jones, now 23 and living in a box underneath the Santa Monica Freeway. “Sure, I still have terrible nightmares, but he really revolutionized pop music.”
Another of Jackson’s former victims came forward to state that Jackson’s legacy should be all about the music.
“I’ve been drunk for the last 14 years, but from what I’ve heard, I haven’t missed much from him,” said Joe Smith, now 24 and living in a San Jose halfway house. “But seriously, his early work was magnificent.”
At least one other of Jackson’s victims praised his dancing ability.
“I mean, the guy created the Moonwalk,” said Ted Lyons, now 26 and residing in San Quentin Prison for a variety of crimes. “It’s pretty much impossible for me to have a relationship due to the horrifying trust issues I’ve had to deal with since I knew Michael, but if I ever had a child, I’d teach him some of MJ’s dance moves.”
In other news, more of Jackson’s surviving victims – several long ago committed suicide and were unavailable for comment – are getting together to write a tribute book to Jackson entitled “Michael Jackson: He Molested Us and Ruined Our Lives, But Thriller was Freakin’ Awesome.”
–WKW
Hey you with the pretty face, welcome to the human race
April 2, 2009
Decades later, I can still listen to this ELO classic on a continuous loop. Mr. Blue Sky is living here today.
–WKW
