This and thats

Some thoughts …

• Maybe Barack Obama is figuring this legislation thing out. After slamming Republicans as obstructionist and calling for bipartisanship, Obama smartly called his second stimulus package a “Jobs Bill” and got it through the Senate with Republican help. Like the legislation or not, it was good politicking from the President.
• No one could have anticipated that a Massachusetts guy like Scott Brown would not care about Tea Party beliefs.
• Anyone think that being spied on by the FBI is reason enough to ditch your cell phone? I didn’t think so.
• Well, Hamid Karzai is working out well so far in Afghanistan, eh?
• A perfect capitalist concept – now calling 911 will cost you in Tracy, Calif.
• Seth McFarlane being a douche does not in any way make Sarah Palin astute.

–WKW

Fox News helps GOP by casting Ron Paul as a nutjob

This clip shows you all you need to know about Fox News. First, we get some elimination rhetoric from Glenn Beck. Next, you get Bill O’Reilly and Brit Hume trivialize Ron Paul as a wacko after Paul won the CPAC straw poll as top choice for President. Paul, after all, is not GOP-y enough for Fox News.

Hume and O’Reilly then talk about Obama being a socialist and the Tea Party’s incredible strength, and Hume bravely speaks out for Christianity as he judges Tiger Woods.

It could really only get more obvious over there if Rush Limbaugh and Newt Gingrich were standing behind O’Reilly and Hume and feeding them lines.

--WKW

Republicans want to save oppressed Iranians – or kill them; Whatever works

As Iran is in the midst of severe domestic turmoil and an uprising of its populace, Senate Republicans are prepared to do whatever it takes to save the brave American populace from the clutches of evil dictator President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, and his boss, the Iranian Supreme leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei. Because for them, the situation in Iran has aways been about democracy.

A new bill brought forward by Republican Senator John McCain and Neo-Conservative Senator Joe Lieberman looks to target Iranians involved in rights abuses with sanctions like asset freezes or a ban on U.S travel. The bill also calls for President Barack Obama to create a public list of rights abusers and/or their enablers, according to McCain’s office.

“Bomb bomb bomb, bomb bomb Iran,” said McCain, in a show of support to the democracy-hungry Iranian citizens. Lieberman was equally enthusiastic.

“The Iranian government, by its actions, has all but declared war on us and our allies in the Middle East,” said Lieberman.

A different bill from Republican Senators John Cornyn and Sam Brownback would offer non-military aid to Iranian democratic opposition groups and humanitarian aid to “victims of the current regime,” their offices said.

“The F-22 program is important to our national security because we’re not just fighting wars in Afghanistan and Iraq,” said Cornyn. “We have graver threats and greater threats than that: From a rising India, with increased exercise of their military power; Russia; Iran, that’s threatening to build a nuclear weapon; with North Korea, shooting intercontinental ballistic missiles, capable of hitting American soil.”

Brownback agreed.

“In the global war on the cancer of terrorism, our next strategic, surgical focus needs to be Iran,” Brownback said.

It remains to be seen if either of these bills will gain traction in Washington. Just know that Republicans care about the Iranian people. They care enough to help. Or to kill them. Whatever it takes.

–WKW

Should the Filibuster do away with Congress?

Senate Republicans and Democrats have done an admirable job showing that now may be the time for the filibuster to do away with Congress once and for all. As the nation shakily tries to regain its footing on precarious economic recovery – one that is very likely to turn back into an economic crisis at any minute – it may be time for both parties to use the filibuster non-stop until Congress itself is permanently shelved.

While the Republicans are the ones using a threat of a filibusters (actual filibusters almost never occur, a party need only threaten to use it for it to stop the legislative process in its tracks) on nearly everything that comes before them, the Democrats mealy-mouthed inability to do anything about it deserves at least a minority share of the blame.

Ryan Grimm of The Huffington Post recently reported on how the filibuster has more or less shut down of the nation’s three equal powers:

Senate Republicans made a persuasive case for abolishing or reforming the filibuster on Tuesday night when they blocked a routine nomination to the National Labor Relations Board that had been held up since April.

The GOP was joined by Democrats Ben Nelson of Nebraska and Blanche Lincoln of Arkansas in defeating President Obama’s nominee, Craig Becker, by a vote of 52-33. The 52 votes were in favor of Becker, while the 33 were in opposition. In today’s Senate, that’s enough to block a nominee.

“I’m in my thirty-sixth year. I’ve never seen anything like it,” said Judiciary Committee Chairman Pat Leahy (D-Vt.), noting that no previous Republican Senate leader would have allowed his party to filibuster such a routine nomination.

Leahy said that the overuse of filibusters by the GOP was leading Democrats to consider ways to modify it.

Sen. Carl Levin (D-Mich.), another long-serving member, said that abuse of the filibuster is unsustainable. “I think it will either fall of its own weight — it should fall of its own weight — or it will fall after some massive conflict on the floor, which has happened in the past where there have been rulings from the chair that have led to reform,” Levin told the Huffington Post, adding that the filibuster should be restricted to major issues.

While Democrats may make noises about fixing or eliminating the filibuster, the fact is that they won’t. It would constitute an aggressive type of governance, which Democrats have proved time and time again they are unwilling to do. It’s an election year, after all. And the Democrats are very likely much happier being filibustered than governing.

And the Republicans will go to their media blitz center and declare any action against the filibuster to be communist-inspired, fascist baby-killing. And then, they will filibuster every last bill that comes down the aisle. Basically, Barack Obama’s Presidency is going to be defined by Congressional gridlock, whether he serves four or eight years.

There will be no bi-partisanship. When one party unanimously says “No” to every last proposal the majority party, it shouldn’t be hard to figure that out, and everyone but Obama seems to be aware of that fact. There will only be filibusters. And at this rate, maybe it’s just best for both parties to filibuster everything, so that we can turn CSPAN into a place to record audio books. At least then we’d be getting something of value from our Congress.

–WKW

Louie Psihoyos: Oscar for ‘The Cove’ could save lives of dolphins

Louie Psihoyos wants to win an Academy Award. For the Director of the Oscar-nominated documentary “The Cove,” being nominated is great, but when the envelope is opened, he wants to hear his film called out. Mind you, Psihoyos doesn’t much care about the award itself (“I’d probably give it to the crew,” he said.), but he wants what he sees as the biggest benefit an Oscar offers – a massive audience.

“A billion people will see the Academy Awards,” said Psihoyos in a telephone interview. “That’s why I’d like to win. Because for 45 seconds you can talk directly to all the key people who are involved in these policies.”

What Psihoyos wants to talk about is the subject of his highly praised documentary – the wholesale slaughter of Dolphins in Taiji, Japan. But should “The Cove” not win the Oscar for Best Documentary, Psihoyos has already gotten the word out to millions about the formerly secret slaughter. And just this week, it was announced that the film will now be in front of people he knows can make the biggest difference – the people of Japan.

On Feb. 8, The Works International announced that “The Cove” had been acquired by Japanese distributor Medallion Media which is planning a tentative release date of April 2010 in Japan. Carl Clifton, Managing Director of The Works International, applauded Medallion for taking the film directly to the people of Japan.

“Many distributors screened the film and most decided it was simply too hot to handle even if they all felt it must be seen by the Japanese people,” said Clifton in a press release. “Medallion Media has shown real courage in acquiring ‘The Cove’ for Japan and we look forward to working with them on it.”

“The Cove” – which currently has an almost-unheard of 8.5 rating at The Internet Movie Database – highlights the annual, six-month slaughter of dolphins in Taiji. The dolphins are rounded up by fisherman, who use sonar and bang on long poles to frighten and herd the dolphins into a cove. After highly sought-after “show dolphins” – dolphins which will be taken captive and trained at Ocean parks like Sea World – are selected, the dolphins are then herded into a once-secret cove, where they are slaughtered. Each year, more than 20,000 dolphins are killed.

The actual cove where the dolphins are being slaughtered was a long-held secret by the Taiji and Japanese governments. But Psihoyos (“I probably watched too many James Bond movies as a kid,” he laughs”) put together his own “Ocean’s 11″ squad of filmmakers, divers and activists to penetrate the cove under the cover of darkness, hiding cameras and sound equipment throughout the area. The end result was video that is at once educating and blood-curdling.

But despite the video and the film, the killing continues.

“At the beginning of the year they stopped killing bottle-nose dolphins, but they have started the killing again,” said Psihoyos, who started the non-profit Oceanic Preservation Society in 2005.

The film follows former dolphin trainer Ric O’Barry, who trained the dolphins in the hit 1960s TV show “Flipper.” O’Barry has long felt a responsibility for the popularity of performing dolphins that took off following the TV Show, and sees his own fingerprints on the slaughter. Now the most prominent and tireless defender of dolphins, “The Cove” highlights his fight to free and save the intelligent mammals.

Aside from being a documentation of atrocities against dolphins, O’Barry’s fight for redemption, and the cloak-and-dagger operation, “The Cove” also showcases a problem for mankind – the massive elevation of mercury in the systems of sea mammals like dolphins and whales. The problem is showcased in Taiji, where the dolphins have been used as a food source, and where authorities attempted to get dolphin meat into schools across the nation.

“The whole town was mandated for being tested for mercury because of this movie,” said Psihoyos, 52. “They found that the males had 20 times more mercury in their blood and the women 10 times more than other Japanese people.”

Psihoyos said that thus far, even with the film, the Japanese government has been of no help to either the dolphins, or their own people.

“They are still in denial. They are still trying to hide behind the old tired excuses that it’s a tradition,” said Psihoyos, who resides in Boulder, Colo. “Well, this ‘tradition’ started in the 1930s. And their tradition is poisoning their own people.”

Which is why getting the movie in front of Japanese audiences is such a coup for the filmmaker. In a time when their government is experiencing the same economic crisis as the rest of the planet, the Japanese government is actually using tax payer money to keep the needless killing of dolphins going.

“If they just enforced their own laws, this problem would end,” said Psihoyos. “The Japanese people need to know they are subsidizing these people.”

Having already scaled the heights with his first film, Psihoyos is now working on what he calls a companion piece for “The Cove,” which will look at the degradation of the world’s ocean by humankind.

“To me we’re it’s like we’re living in a science-fiction nightmare we’re only beginning to understand,” said Psihoyos. “The oceans are getting increasingly acidic, and by the end of this century it will be impossible for coral reefs to even exist.”

But despite the harrowing subject matter, Psihoyos takes to his burgeoning film making and activism career with optimism. He can see things turning around with a new generation of Americans.

“I have an extreme amount of hope with the kids. They can read through the BS and see we’re destroying the environment,” said Psihoyos. “We’ve signed up nearly 1 million people already to help with this. I know people are getting engaged by this movie.”

So come Oscar night, Psihoyos will be in the audience, hoping to receive the Oscar for Best Documentary. But that won’t be the true prize he’s after.

“We’ve won a lot of awards. But I didn’t get in the business of making films to win awards. The real awards are to solve these problems,” said Psihoyos.

More on “The Cove”

• After learning the massive carbon footprint that making a film creates, Psihoyos made the second half of the film using only solar energy, including solar-powered vehicles.
• Psihoyos said the film has already drawn attention from the Japanese media. A recent trip to Taiji by O’Barry was covered by by a large contingent of Japanese media. “He was like a rock star,” said Psihoyos. At a Japanese film festival, Psihoyos said “We got more media coverage than “Avatar.”

Additional Reading

• What can you do to help?
• “The Cove” Official Web Site
• The Oceanic Preservation Society
• Save Japan Dolphins
• Louie Psihoyos Photography

–WKW

Overstock.com & Patrick Byrne help define “Cookie Jar Reserve”

While it’s all fun and games with the pretend tough guys over at Overstock.com, Patrick Byrne and crew have done all us financial layman a favor – they’ve made the term “Cookie Jar Reserve” easier for us to understand. Yesterday, Overstock.com – working on deadline – restated their 2009 financial report.

A Cookie Jar Reserve is an illegal practice when a company under-reports
income during an earlier reporting period in order to inflate income for future reporting periods. It is a practice that misleads the investors of publicly traded companies like Overstock.

From Overstock.com’s restatement:

“Correction of these errors is expected to shift approximately $1.7 million of income recognized in fiscal year 2009 back to fiscal year 2008.”

Sam Antar – he of the Crazy Eddie Fraud scheme who was profiled here – has long been asserting publicly that Overstock.com has been cooking the books in this way. Antar has been vilified, threatened and mocked non-stop by Byrne and his PR shill/Partner-in-crime Judd Bagley. But this last restatement vindicates him, and shines an even greater light on the issuer retaliation tactics of Overstock.com.

Last year, I wrote a post titled “For Patrick Byrne and Overstock.com, the real story is in the financial reports.” I led it off thusly:

Overstock.com CEO Patrick Byrne has had a busy week, attacking messengers and filing reports. As should always be the case with Byrne and Overstock, the real news goes on top – Overstock’s financial reporting.

And the song remains the same. Because while Byrne’s rants about naked short sellers and his blatant attacks on any who question his accounting may be all fun and games, it is pure diversion. What matters is the financial reports. And Byrne’s guilt is consistently written all over them.

–WKW

The Apple iPad: A hand-held genocide machine

While society has many ills, few threaten it as much as Apple’s release of the iPad*. This computer-esque piece of modern technology not only threatens society, but the entire planet, as well. In a world where swift communication is king, the iPad promises to take it to an new, exciting, and deadly plateau.

For the Apple iPad is more than just a modern gadget. It is a device that irreversibly changes the direction of human interest. In attempting to make communication easier, Apple has unleashed a plague upon our houses. The end result – which is literally only moments away – is unstoppable violent anarchy for all that breathe.

Because what this device does, in essence, is strip away the morality of the average person. No more shall things like pornography and angry imagery be left to PCs or laptops. No, now these things shall be in the soul possession of the individual, day and night, ad infinitum.

The overt grotesqueness of the Apple iPad cannot be overstated. Whilst citizens of the planet struggle with numerous and dangerous issues, the iPad takes it all a step further. It is a hand-held genocide machine. It is all the most horrifying dreams of Hitler, Stalin, Pol Pot and James Dobson combined. It is all that is wrong with both conservatism and liberalism. It is the end of human evolution.

Only a narcissistic few will overlook the power of destruction that comes in tablet form. But those narcissists will fight until the death to insure that the iPad reaches its final, devastating climax of human destruction. These self-lovers will guarantee that Apple’s bloodless coup will soon have the rivers flowing with human, canine and rabbit blood.

Every so often in humankind’s history a new device comes along that changes the course of human morals. The plank, the electric chair, the Susan B. Anthony dollar, the nuclear bomb. The Apple iPod is the final and ultimate manifestation of this evil trend. May God have mercy on our souls.

–WKW

*Note: The author has never physically seen or used an Apple iPad, nor did he research it in any meaningful way. But it seems expensive and probably won’t work in Brazil, anyway.

Osama bin Laden – Tree hugger

There was a time not long ago that Osama bin Laden was the world’s most feared man. The 9/11 mastermind was “Wanted: Dead or Alive.” He was the devil incarnate.

Now, he’s an environmentalist. From the Washington Post:

CAIRO — Al-Qaida leader Osama bin Laden has called in a new audiotape for the world to boycott American goods and the U.S. dollar, blaming the United States and other industrialized countries for global warming.

In the tape, aired in part on Al-Jazeera television Friday, bin Laden warns of the dangers of climate change and says that the way to stop it is to bring “the wheels of the American economy” to a halt.

He says the world should “stop consuming American products” and “refrain from using the dollar,” according to a transcript on Al-Jazeera’s Web site.

The new message, whose authenticity could not immediately be confirmed, comes after a bin Laden tape released last week in which he endorsed a failed attempt to blow up an American airliner on Christmas Day.

Soon, bin Laden will be complaining about Tiger Woods’ affairs, Heidi Montag’s plastic surgery and debating the outcome of the Super Bowl. He’s becoming Americanized. And in doing so, his videos have devolved into Greenpeace presentations.

Still, one would hope that someday John McCain will share his foolproof plan to catch bin Laden. McCain does have a re-election campaign coming up, so maybe this is the year he’ll share his plans with Barack Obama and the U.S. military.

–WKW

Mark McGwire on steroids? The Hell you say!

Mark McGwire has come out and admitted the one thing everyone knew about him – that he took performance-enhancing drugs. Of course, as has been his wont since his retirement from baseball, McGwire did so in a cowardly and milquetoast manner.

“I was given a gift to hit home runs,” said McGwire, who is attempting to return to baseball as a hitting instructor for the St. Louis Cardinals. “I believe I was given this gift. The only reason I took steroids was for health purposes.”

More than three years ago, I penned a message to McGwire at WorldGolf.com:
[Read more]

Can I Supersize that fecal bacteria for you?

No longer can the phrase “Fast Food is crap” be taken only figuratively.

From CNN:

Soda fountains contained fecal bacteria, study found

Nearly half of the 90 beverages from soda fountain machines in one area in Virginia tested positive for coliform bacteria — which could indicate possible fecal contamination, according to a study published in the January issue of International Journal of Food Microbiology.

Researchers also detected antibiotic-resistant microbes and E.coli in the soda samples.

I’m pretty sure I can remember a time shen shit sodas would have been a big deal. We Americans, we’ve toughened up.

–WKW

Blog update: New Server & a slightly slower December

Just a quick note to readers: We’ve finally switched hosts around here, so that should finally fix the problem of the site crashing during high-traffic days. Some posts have disappeared, but we’ll get those back up shortly.

Also, as is my way in December, I’ll be spending time with family and traveling, so there should be a few less posts here until January. I’ll still post some, I’m sure. I just can’t help myself.

Plus, check back as the “William K. Wolfrum Chronicles 2010 Awards” are upcoming, and I know you’re all quite excited about that.

–WKW

Breaking: Marilyn Monroe caught smoking pot; also, Michael Phelps takes back his apologies

Like Afghanistan, the war on drugs never ends:

NEW YORK – A home movie showing a relaxed Marilyn Monroe apparently smoking marijuana has surfaced, retrieved from an attic some 50 years after it was filmed.

The reel-to-reel silent, color film taken at a private home in New Jersey was recently purchased by collector Keya Morgan for $275,000 from the person who took the film, who has asked to remain anonymous.

In other news, champion swimmer Michael Phelps announced that he was taking back all his apologies for getting caught smoking pot. He said if anyone wanted to discuss this with him, he’d be at home with a blunt.

–WKW

Report: Everyone to be Tasered by Year 2015

PORTLAND, Maine – A new report from the Wolfrum Alpha Resource Center states that every man, woman and child will be tasered at least once by the year 2015. Most of the taserings will be quite comical.

“Soon, we’ll reach a point where everyone will have their own taser gun,” said Portland Sheriff Calvin Jarmen. “Then, just sit back and laugh.”

While many have debated the humanity of using tasers to subdue everyone from young girls that won’t do their homework to old ladies that are grumpy, others complain about the sheer comic value of tasers.

“In American comedy, the tasering is a vital plot point,” said film expert Diane Tucker. “You see that and think to yourself, ‘Wow, they went to all the trouble to make it appear they were shooting electricity into Seth Rogan’s skull. This must be funny.’”

Another reason for your eventual tasering is that – as opposed to a gun – taserers have the freedom to be 90-ish percent sure that the tasering won’t kill the taseree.

“And plus, come on, it’s funny,” said comedian Rob Schneider, the current record holder for most On-Screen Taserings with 38. “It’s really a weapon you can build a career on.”

–WKW

Sarah Palin bows to Japanese shoe company ASICS

While most of Conservative U.S. has blown three or four gaskets because U.S. President Barack Obama bowed in Japan (every time a President bows, a nuclear bomb dies), they seemed to miss an even greater bow to the Japanese by Political Super-Gadfly Sarah Palin.

Palin was recently the cover story for Newsweek – which cunningly saved time, money and effort by using the same photo used by Runners World. While the original photo caused controversy due to Palin’s using the American flag as an armrest, if you look lower in the photo, you see Palin’s shoes – ASICS Gel Nimbus running shoes.

Yes, the America-First, -last, and -always Palin is promoting Japanese shoes. And not just in one major magazine, but two. Better yet, Palin was wearing the ASICS shoes just a couple weeks before ASICS won Runner’s World “Shoe of the Year.”

The madcap duo that is Martin Eisenstadt stumbled across this, and had this to say:

Follow the money. Is Sarah on ASICS’ payroll as a sponsor? Is that why she did the Runners World photo shoot in the first place (which at the time struck me as bizarre anyway). Was she paid by ASICS while she was still governor? Remember, she only made $1.5 mil from the book deal – she must have gotten money elsewhere to make it worth her while to quit being governor. And through Todd and the snowmobiling thing, she’s no stranger to sports sponsorship.

So, it’s quite possible that Sarah Palin quit working for the people of Alaska so that she could work for a Japanese shoe company. Maybe she’s a typical politician, after all? I’m sure she discusses it in her book.

Of course, while Palin is apparently doing her best to stimulate non-U.S. economies, she has done well for at least one Alaskan resident, photographer Bryan Adams. Adams scored an impressive double, as he shot the Runners World/Newsweek photos – as well as taking photos of a well-clothed Levi Johnston a few months earlier.

Update: Here’s what Palin had to tell Runners’ World about her choice of shoes:

“I’m into Asics right now. I was into Nikes forever because the way the shoes fit was so predictable. But then a friend of mine put me in a pair of Asics—Gel something, I don’t remember what they’re called—and I loved them.”

–WKW

Brazil’s Blackout – Rio, Sao Paulo and others in the dark, problem not close to being solved

MINAS GERAIS, Brazil – For those seeing the news about Brazil’s blackout, here’s what I can report: Itaipu Dam, which creates power for much of Brazil’s south, has 18 generators down, with just two working – and those two send energy to Paraguay.

In a telephone interview with a spokesman for Itaipu, Globo-TV anchors asked tough questions, for which the spokesman had few answers, saying that the wind may have caused the problems. The worst part – the spokesman said it could be “2-3 days” before power is restored. Though, the fact remains that the spokesman was exceedingly vague under the tough and intelligent questioning.

I’m located in the state of Minas Gerais, which is in the southeast of Brazil, and we still have power, including the capital city of Belo Horizonte.

There have been no reports of any outbreaks of violence or crime at this juncture.

Update: Itaipu gives power to a full 20% of Brazil. The person that runs Itaipu Dam – a state-run facility – was appointed to the Job by Brazilian President Lula. The blackout is also affecting the Nation’s capital of Brasilia, as well as other states.

Update II: Heavy storms were reported in the Paraná River giving credence to the Itaipu’s claims that the outage was “weather related.”

The Itaipu Dam works under an agreement with Paraguay and Brazil, with Brazil receiving the bulk of the power. Initially, the power for the Paraguay side also went off, but was quickly returned.

Update III: According to AFB, Power has been restored after four hours.

–WKW

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