From the Sports Desk …

Some thoughts from an occasional sportswriter:

• Manny Pacquiao scared the hell out of Joshua Clottey. And that doesn’t make for a good fight, at all. …
• For the second time in his career (The first being Arturo Gatti), Alfonzo Gomez has beaten an aging name fighter, as he took apart Jose Luis Castillo on the Pacquiao-Clottey undercard. The bad news? Now we’ll all be forced to watch the limited and dull Gomez fight again. It’s the John Ruiz, Rocky Juarez career path of forcing poor bastards like me to watch them on a PPV undercard when I wouldn’t watch them for free …
• John Duddy currently holds the title for being the worst 29-1 contender out there. …
• Kentucky will win the NCAA Basketball Tournament, just you watch …
• David Beckham’s international career came to an end, yesterday, as the English midfielder tore his left achilles while representing A.C. Milan. It would be terribly surprising if we see Beckham lace them up in the MLS again, as well. …

–WKW

A hockey announcing career lost in the five-hole

My radio career began like many do – I walked into my college’s radio station asking about sports announcing possibilities and they said “Sure, wanna cover tonight’s hockey game?”

Thus, like most things in my life, my career as a sports announce started quickly with me having almost no grasp of what I was actually doing.

I mean, I know hockey the way the average American sports fan knows hockey. I can keep up with what’s happening on the ice. I know who’s winning and basically why. But I don’t know the lingo for the life of me. And let me tell you, from personal experience, you need to learn the lingo before you go on the air.

Now here’s something they don’t tell you – hockey’s a really fast game. Really, really fast. And here’s something they didn’t tell me – the team the fearsome University of Alaska Anchorage team would be playing a tea, made up from guys from Vick’s Vertigo Recovery Institute.

Adding up all the factors, and you see I had fallen into a dream assignment – Announcing a really fast sport I really didn’t know that well for my first time on the radio, in which one of the teams ends up scoring 18 goals.

That’s right, the final score was 18-1. You try and make that interesting. So my first experience on the radio consisted of me desperately trying to keep up with the game while finding different ways to describe the un-holy amount of goals.

Sadly, the one bit of lingo that stuck in my mind was “the five-hole.” Thus, about 11 of those goals were made through the five goal. the Vertigian goalie had a HUGE five-hole, and I filled it up with pucks, real or perceived. And honestly, I still don’t know where the five-hole actually is.

The final indignation? The fact that the engineer cut me off for the entire third-quarter. Meaning I was announcing the game (terribly) while no one was listening and no one was recording. It was totally the right thing to do.

My radio announcing career continued and got reasonably better (I was never again asked to cover hockey, and instead covered a lot of girls’ volleyball, which is a lot more fun). For the most part, I’d say that my desire to be a sportscaster was filled, much like that poor, overburdened five-hole so many years ago on that fateful night.

–WKW

Everyone in the NFL arrested

CANTON, Ohio – In a surprise move by the Federal Government, every single player in the NFL has been arrested today. Charges range from possession of illegal performance enhancing drugs, sexual harassment, domestic abuse, perjury, driving while intoxicated, and an undeserved sense of self-worth.

Aside from the players, every owner was also arrested, for everything from collusion to tax fraud to using the NFL season as a bargaining chip.

“We figured we had probable cause just to arrest everyone,” said a government spokesman. “We’re pretty sure we can get a 90 percent conviction rate, without even having any physical evidence yet.

“We’re just trying to protect the general public,” he added.

The charges come following several recent incidents, including Minnesota Vikings All-Pro defensive tackle Kevin Williams testifying that he has never taken steroids or steroid-masking agents, and Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger being accused of sexual assault.

Also, two players – Miami’s Will Allen and Washington’s Bryan Westbrook – have recently been arrested for DUIs.

“It’s pretty obvious that everyone in the NFL has skirted the law for years,” said the federal official. “Even the players that aren’t guilty of anything are guilty of hanging around those that are guilty.”

With all teams now sans any players and the NFL Draft coming up, the arrests are good news for former Heisman Trophy winner Tim Tebow. The former University of Florida quarterback is now expected to be picked as early as the 6th round by quarterback-hungry teams.

–WKW

From the sports desk

From an occasional sportswriter …

• Less than 100 days until the World Cup and other national teams beware – Brazil is not only looking extremely strong and deep, but also quite harmonious.
• Shane Mosley has a better chance of beating Floyd Mayweather than Manny Pacquiao did.
• Boxing referee Mills Lane is to receive the James J. Farley Award by the Boxing Writers Association of America. The award goes those who exemplify “honesty and integrity” in boxing. They could go a step further and just call it the “Mills Lane Award.”
• The Pittsburgh Steelers future depends on Ben Roethlisberger not being accused of sexual misconduct any more. The latest accusation was in Geogia, and ESPN isn’t trying to sweep this one under the carpet, as they did the previous one.
• With the addition of Julius Peppers, the Chicago Bears have one pretty impressive defense on paper.
• An influx of bigger names – James Toney, Herschel Walker, Ricardo Mayorga – entering MMA will not give the sport the star power it truly needs to make it to the next level.
• Hasn’t it been pleasant going through a week without talking about hockey?
• Led by Louisville’s win over top-ranked Syracuse, March is starting the madness early for college basketball.
• Recent struggles or not, with Kobe Bryant, Pau Gasol, Lamar Odom and incredible depth, I can’t envision any NBA team beating the Lakers in a seven-game series.

–WKW

Canada wins hockey gold! Americans go back to ignoring hockey

In an exciting game, Canada got an overtime goal from star Sidney Crosby to win the Olympic Gold Medal in Hockey, 3-2 over the U.S.

As a side note, more than 98 percent of all Americans surveyed said they will now not think about hockey for even a moment for at least four more years.

–WKW

Tiger Woods announces switch to Christianity to save marriage, image

Taking a break from his sex addiction therapy, Tiger Woods today discussed his recent problems and announced that he will switch to Christianity as per the advice of Fox News journalist Brit Hume.

Here is a snippet from Friday’s press conference with Woods from the Match Play Championship in Florida:

“Thanks for coming. During the past few months, as my life has collapsed down upon me in the most humiliating of fashions, I have learned some important lessons. First off, don’t f**k around with your earning potential. Trust me on this, it’s just stupid.

More importantly, I have learned that being a Buddhist in no way prepares a person for these types of situations. Thus, taking Brit Hume’s advice, I hereby announce that I am now a Christian.

In my theological pursuits, I have yet to find a major religion that is as accepting of serial adultery than Christianity. Now that I have accepted Jesus Christ as the one and true savior, I can apologize for my sins, and now I’m clean.

Christianity is perfect for those like me that are unable to deal with the sexual pressures that come from being a public figure. Time and time again, Christians have committed adultery, only to find themselves forgiven by God and the media alike. Praise Jesus.

So, my friends, please know that Jesus is in my life and he loves the sinner as long as the sinner apologizes. And this sinner has been apologizing left and right.

But now you are free to love me again. Because while I have made mistakes, Jesus forgives me. And if I’m good enough for him, than I should be good enough for you.

The sanctity of my marriage is now protected by Jesus. Also, I’ve been hitting some balls recently and my knee is in great shape. I should be back in time for the Masters. Praise Jesus. Drive a Buick.

While Woods did not say what denomination he now was, the mainstream media have now moved on from the Woods story, as per Jesus. Woods also said that since “Jesus was cool with steroids, there’s no reason to discuss that, either.”

Finally. Woods announced that he will soon change his name to “Bobby Hogan,” in order to give off a friendlier, Christian vibe.

“He’s found Jesus now,” said golf writer Jason Sobel. “Bobby’s a good guy again.”

–WKW

A Pardon for Jack Johnson would benefit us all

It seems the moment that Barack Obama took over the Presidency of the United States, his overall message changed. “Change We Can Believe in” morphed into “Bipartisanship: Now and Forever.” Like Bill Clinton before him, the need for Republican acceptance has become a an almost fetish for Obama, with the results thus far quite predictable – the U.S. government is now radically partisan.

Of course, there’s one thing Obama could do – today – that would briefly appease some of his most vociferous critics. That would be to pardon Jack Johnson.

Jack Johnson was the first African-American Heavyweight champion. And despite having not thrown a punch in anger in more than 70 years, and having been dead for more than 60 years, many still consider him the greatest boxer in history.

As one can imagine, being the first Black Heavyweight champion – he won the title in 1908 – led to Johnson being the most reviled figure of his time. A surge of racism ran through the blood of even the most prominent writers and politicians of the day, and a concerted effort was made to take him down. To White America, the flashy and cocky Johnson needed to be shown his place.

Unable to find a white man to beat Johnson in the ring, they used the legal system to take him down. In 1912, Johnson was first arrested for a violation of the odious Mann Act. Unable to secure a conviction, he was then again arrested in 1913 for the same offense. The offenses? “Transporting women across state lines for immoral purposes.” Johnson knew both women well. The “crimes” he committed actually took place before the Mann Act had been ratified. But the U.S. judicial system did what no white boxer could do. They beat Jack Johnson, sentencing him to a year and a day in Federal prison.

Simply put, Jack Johnson had been convicted for being an unapologetic Black man.

Johnson fled the country, eventually losing his title to Jess Willard in 1915. Johnson finally returned to the U.S. in 1920, and served his sentence in Leavenworth. It is long past time for that sentence to be stricken from his record.

Jack Johnson does not deserve to be pardoned for being a good man. He was, in fact, a bad man in many aspects, with the onus of that description being his violence and abuse of women. But this is not about Johnson’s other sins.

Jack Johnson does not deserve to be pardoned because it’s African-American History Month. That is but an intangible moment of time.

Jack Johnson does not deserve to be pardoned because Barack Obama is the first African-American to serve as President. That is ridiculousness.

Jack Johnson deserves to be pardoned because he was arrested and tormented by the U.S. government solely because he was a Black man. His story is by no means unique. But his prominence and historical importance makes his story stand out and helps us all recognize the blatant crimes committed against African-Americans by America’s judicial system. His arrest – like many so many others – was purely racially motivated.

Both the House and Senate have demanded that Johnson be pardoned. The bill is on President Obama’s desk. But he won’t sign it. Because the Justice Department said it prefers to focus its pardon resources on people “who can truly benefit” from them.

“In terms of Jack Johnson, I think the Department of Justice came back recommending — not recommending a pardon on that,” said White House spokesman Robert Gibbs.

The resolution Congress passed to pardon Johnson said in part that it was “for the racially motivated conviction in 1913 that diminished the athletic, cultural, and historic significance of Jack Johnson and unduly tarnished his reputation … [It would] expunge a racially motivated abuse of the prosecutorial authority of the federal government from the annals of criminal justice in the United States.”

It is long past time to pardon Jack Johnson. The posthumous pardon has bi-partisan support, as Sen. John McCain and Rep. Peter King – Republicans both – are among those that have championed his cause.

But Jack Johnson should not be pardoned because it achieves some type of non-partisan unity. He should be pardoned because he was imprisoned for being a Black man. He should be pardoned because it would truly benefit us all.

–WKW

From the sports desk …

Thoughts from an occasional sportswriter …

• The Reluctant Jam Boy wants to take golf writing in a new direction. With his first two eclectic and page-turning E-books, he may have done just that.
• Being that Peyton and Eli Manning already have Super Bowl glory, let’s see if Archie’s former team can get him some by proxy. No doubt the Saints are huge emotional favorites over the Colts in this year’s Super Bowl. Take the team-formerly-known-as-the “Aints,” 38-23.
• Does British Jr. Welterweight Amir Khan have skills? Absolutely. Does he have a chin. Absolutely not. Which is why Juan Manuel Marquez, or even the feather-fisted but strong-jawed Paulie Malignaggi will leave him on the canvas.
• Shane Mosley vs. Floyd Mayweather Jr. will be the fight of 2010.
• John Terry had an affair with a teammate’s ex-girlfriend? That’s excellent news for the U.S. Men’s Soccer Team. Now, if only Wayne Rooney will get arrested or something and not be on the pitch on June 12.
• It’s always fun when golfers start parsing words like politicians. Well, maybe not so fun for Phil Mickelson.
• Greatness starts early. For proof, watch Lionel Messi at age 10.

–WKW

U.K. takes Blair to task; U.S. prepares to do same – to College Football

Our cousins across the pond took former Prime Minister Tony Blair to task yesterday during an Iraq War Inquiry. Not to be out done, the Obama Administration has announced it is ready to do its own investigation – of the Bowl Championship Series.

From ESPN:

WASHINGTON — The Obama administration is considering several steps that would review the legality of the controversial Bowl Championship Series, the Justice Department said in a letter Friday to a senator who had asked for an antitrust review.

In the letter to Sen. Orrin Hatch, obtained by The Associated Press, Assistant Attorney General Ronald Weich wrote that the Justice Department is reviewing Hatch’s request and other materials to determine whether to open an investigation into whether the BCS violates antitrust laws.

“Importantly, and in addition, the administration also is exploring other options that might be available to address concerns with the college football postseason,” Weich wrote, including asking the Federal Trade Commission to review the legality of the BCS under consumer protection laws.

Several lawmakers and many critics want the BCS to switch to a playoff system, rather than the ratings system it uses to determine the teams that play in the championship game.

All can breathe a sigh of relief should this investigation take place. We must learn from history. America cannot allow the University of Utah get screwed by the BCS again. The nation just can’t afford it.

–WKW

Readables

Because studies have shown most my readers don’t just sit at my Web site waiting for me to write something:

Atrios: The only thing holding this country together is Ben Bernanke.

BuzzFlash: Bernie Sanders lists why Bernanke has to go.

White Collar Crime: CFO David Chidester either jumped, or was thrown from the shaky ship that is Overstock.com.

The Political Carnival: Gotta Laff delivers the laughs.

Crooks & Liars: Smart folks say that Fascism is a right-wing phenomenon. Dumb people whose every action is based on promoting the right-wing disagree.

Naomi Klein: The biggest aftershock of the Haiti earthquake will be the Disaster Capitalists rocking the economy.

Mouthpiece: Why wouldn’t Brett Favre return for another year?

Blue Gal: BG and Driftglass now hosting the can’t-miss Podcast of 2010.

Lance Mannion: The Dick Van Dyke Show destroyed his life.

–WKW

Brock Lesnar finally opens up about Universal Health Care

For the past year or so, one question has been on everyone’s mind: What does UFC Heavyweight Champion Brock Lesnar think about Universal Health Care?

Finally, we have an answer – not much.

“I love Canada,” said Lesnar. “Some of the best people and best hunting in the world, but I wasn’t in the right facility.”

“They couldn’t do nothing for me,” he added. “It was like I was in a Third World country, I just looked at my wife and she saved my life and I had to get out of there.” …

“The only reason I’m mentioning this, I’m mentioning it to the United States of America because President Obama is looking for health care reform and I don’t want it … I’m speaking on behalf of Americans, I’m speaking on behalf of our doctors in the United States that don’t want this to happen and neither do I.”

As noted at Deadspin, however, Lesnar didn’t much help prove his point:

Perhaps subverting his argument, Lesnar admits that while back in the States, he was misdiagnosed with mononucleosis. But not even the best in the world get it right on the first try every time.

So Americans, thank your lucky stars that an ultimate fighter with great health insurance is speaking out on your behalf. And while it seems that Republicans will be foolish enough to ignore my call to make Lesnar their leader, it will be interesting to see if Lesnar follows Scott Brown’s lead and runs for Congress. After all, like Brown, Lesnar is mostly naked a lot, more than likely owns a truck, and could care less whether ordinary people can get affordable insurance.

Update: And Canada responds.
–WKW

All-White Basketball League promises return of the set shot with assist to racism

Remember those heady days in basketball of four-corner offenses, set shots and not allowing Black people play? Well, someone is trying to bring that back:

A new professional basketball league called the All-American Basketball Alliance (AABA) sent out a press release on Sunday saying that it intends to start its inaugural season in June, with teams in 12 U.S. cities. However, the AABA is different from other sports leagues because only players who are “natural born United States citizens with both parents of Caucasian race are eligible to play in the league.” AABA commissioner Don “Moose” Lewis insists that he’s not racist, but he just wants to get away from the “street-ball” played by “people of color” and back to “fundamental basketball.” Lewis cited the recent incidents of bad behavior by NBA players, implying that such actions would never happen with white players:

“There’s nothing hatred about what we’re doing,” he said. “I don’t hate anyone of color. But people of white, American-born citizens are in the minority now. Here’s a league for white players to play fundamental basketball, which they like.” [...]

He pointed out recent incidents in the NBA, including Gilbert Arenas’ indefinite suspension after bringing guns into the Washington Wizards locker room, as examples of fans’ dissatisfaction with the way current professional sports are run.

“Would you want to go to the game and worry about a player flipping you off or attacking you in the stands or grabbing their crotch?” he said. “That’s the culture today, and in a free country we should have the right to move ourselves in a better direction.”

Sure, some will look at this as abject racism (because, you know, it’s abjectly racist). I take a more nuanced look at it, however – at least ol’ Moose will lose a lot of money on this venture.

HT Mustang Bobby

–WKW

Tim Tebow’s mom didn’t get an abortion so no woman should have choice – a Super Bowl Special

While the team’s are still undecided, this Super Bowl XLIV promises to be a truly spectacular event where all Americans can come together and be thankful – for the fact that Tim Tebow’s mom didn’t abort him.

From the Denver Post:

Focus on the Family will air a 30-second “life- and family-affirming” television spot, featuring University of Florida star quarterback Tim Tebow and his mother, Pam, during the coverage.

The Colorado Springs-based media ministry shot the ad with the Tebows on Tuesday in Orlando, Focus spokesman Gary Schneeberger said Friday. It is set to air before and again during the CBS broadcast of the football championship from Dolphin Stadium near Miami.

Tebow and his mother will share one of their many positive personal stories, Schneeberger said, but he wouldn’t reveal which one. One contender is Pam Tebow’s decision to carry her son to term despite a life-threatening pregnancy in the Philippines, where she and her husband, Bob, were serving as Christian missionaries.

The 2007 Heisman Trophy winner, also known for being home-schooled, winning an NCAA championship and wearing Bible-verse citations inscribed on his game-day eye black, agreed to appear in the ad because the issue of life is one he and his family feel strongly about, Schneeberger said.

The Super Bowl – the perfect place for James Dobson to pursue his theocratic vision of a U.S. where the federal government takes away a woman’s right to have control over her own body.

Tim Tebow and his mom tenderly telling women they are sinners if they do anything other than carry every pregnancy to term during the Super Bowl broadcast. Brought to you by the exact same people who freaked the hell out when Janet Jackson’s nipple made a partial appearance. You judge which is more offensive and which really matters.

–WKW

Mark McGwire on steroids? The Hell you say!

Mark McGwire has come out and admitted the one thing everyone knew about him – that he took performance-enhancing drugs. Of course, as has been his wont since his retirement from baseball, McGwire did so in a cowardly and milquetoast manner.

“I was given a gift to hit home runs,” said McGwire, who is attempting to return to baseball as a hitting instructor for the St. Louis Cardinals. “I believe I was given this gift. The only reason I took steroids was for health purposes.”

More than three years ago, I penned a message to McGwire at WorldGolf.com:
[Read more]

Hoping Landon Donovan thrives at Everton

I have been fairly harsh on Landon Donovan for a while, and for this I blame myself, as I believe I asked too much of him. He`s been a great leader of the National Team and has helped keep the MLS alive. So here`s hoping he does well in his venture at Everton and the English Premiere League and proves he belongs near the world`s top players.

–WKW

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