Anti-Muslim conservatives protest Liberal woman living in Hell’s Kitchen

NEW YORK – Ann Thomson, an 83-year-old widow, was awoken last last night to screams of protests by angry conservatives at her her home on 39th Street, in an area known as Hell’s Kitchen.

The protesters were angry that Thompson, a long-time liberal, had told a friend that she didn’t mind the Islamic Center being built two blocks away from Ground Zero.

Opponents chanted “No mosque, no way!” and carried signs reading, “9-11-01: Never Forget,” as Bruce Springsteen’s “Born in the USA” blared over loudspeakers.

Thomson, who has lived in the same apartment for 34 years, said she wasn’t sure what the fuss was all about.

“I read the papers and watch TV. I know that the center is for Sufi Muslims, and they are no friend to al Qaeda,” said Thomson.”

Still, the protesters, led by professional Muslim hater Pam Atlas, said having a liberal live so close to America’s Hallowed Ground was a slap in the face to all freedom loving people.

“I have records that show Thomson voted for Obama,” said Atlas, arms and legs akimbo. “If we are going to allow liberals to live within 50 blocks of the most hallowed ground in America, then we may as well just accept Sharia Law.”

For her part, Thomson seemed unperturbed by the protest.

“I just turned down my hearing aid and went to bed,” said Thomson. I had my gun ready, just in case. Because, you know, liberals are allowed to have guns, too.”

The crowd left Thomson’s building early in the morning, and went to scream at an Italian guy who was selling falafels in a cart near Broadway.

“The food of Satan,” screamed Atlas, hair akimbo.

–WKW

Read the Lyrics! Bruce Springsteen didn’t write “Born in the U.S.A.” to protest Islamic centers

Over at Alan Colmes Liberaland, I was reading about protests near the Islamic Center two blocks away from Ground Zero, when this struck me:

Opponents chanted “No mosque, no way!” and carried signs reading, “9-11-01: Never Forget,” as Bruce Springsteen’s “Born in the USA” blared over loudspeakers.

I’m well aware that the more patriotic someone is, the more they’re able to overlook the fact that Springsteen’s hit is not in fact a patriotic homage to America, but instead a song dedicated to the lower middle-class being used as fodder for war and their experiences upon returning.

But it’s really, really silly. Here are the lyrics, and you tell me if Springsteen’s aim was to tell Muslims they couldn’t build a mosque:

Bruce Springsteen – Born in the U.S.A.

Born down in a dead man’s town
The first kick I took was when I hit the ground
You end up like a dog that’s been beat too much
‘Til you spend half your life just covering up

[chorus:]
Born in the U.S.A.
Born in the U.S.A.
Born in the U.S.A.
Born in the U.S.A.

I got in a little hometown jam
And so they put a rifle in my hands
Sent me off to Vietnam
To go and kill the yellow man

[chorus]

Come back home to the refinery
Hiring man says “Son if it was up to me”
I go down to see the V.A. man
He said “Son don’t you understand”

[chorus]

I had a buddy at Khe Sahn
Fighting off the Viet Cong
They’re still there, he’s all gone
He had a little girl in Saigon
I got a picture of him in her arms

Down in the shadow of the penitentiary
Out by the gas fires of the refinery
I’m ten years down the road
Nowhere to run, ain’t got nowhere to go

I’m a long gone Daddy in the U.S.A.
Born in the U.S.A.
I’m a cool rocking Daddy in the U.S.A.
Born in the U.S.A.

Seriously, people, I’m sure some country singer has penned a song that glorifies all things America. But Springsteen didn’t. And you just look like idiots when you try and pretend otherwise.

–WKW

Obama Must Attend Westboro Baptist Church

America faces few problems worse than where and when Barack Obama goes to church. Sure, there are environmental catastrophes to worry about, an economy that shows no interest in bouncing back, wars on God knows how many fronts and unemployment high enough to make Herbert Hoover cringe.

But this is America. And Christ matters.

With 20 percent of Americans believing that Obama is actually a Muslim, it’s time for Obama to turn that tide. He and his family must join the whitest, most conservative Christian Church as possible.

This is why I believe Obama needs to start attending Westboro Baptist Church. Because if there’s one thing you can say about Fred Phelps’ group, it’s that they certainly aren’t Muslim. Crazed, hateful theocrats? Sure. But not Muslims.

Of course, Phelps and his followers have little respect for Obama, being convinced he’s the anti-Christ, and all, but a weekly excursion to Topeka, Kansas should change that. Obama is exceedingly personable and can tithe like few others. He will quickly become a popular figure.

And while some may blanch at Westboro’s “God Hates Fags” motto, Obama should be able to fit right in, not with words but with actions. Obama still believes gays and lesbians should not be allowed to serve in the military, and he also believes that Gays & Lesbians should be able to be fired for the offense of being Gay or Lesbian. At this stage of the game, Obama fits right in with Phelps’ Phreaks.

Mostly, though, church will be a place for Obama to go think. In an impromptu poll taken by the Chronicles, we’ve discovered that 80 percent of churchgoers don’t pay a lick of attention during a mass. By attending Westboro Baptist, Obama can have at least an hour of private time where he can contemplate the nation’s ills, how LeBron James will fit with the Miami Heat, and other important issues.

By attending Westboro Baptist Church, Obama will convince those 20 percent that he is not a Muslim. Sure, he’ll lose the other 80 percent entirely, but he can worry about that later. What matters now is that he just go to a Christian church. Any Christian church. Because only then can he get Politico, NPR, CNN, and other media sources off his back.

Because only by going to a Christian church regularly can Barack Obama include himself in the vast majority of Americans who go to a Christian church because they think they’re supposed to and spend the mass thinking about football.

Because, at the very least, thinking about football in a Christian church is much more politically important than debating whether Obama is Muslim or not.

–WKW

William K. Wolfrum’s Morning – Raptor Jesus Edition

Nowhere in the bible does it say that Jesus isn’t a raptor.

News/Politics

Pakistan: A slow-moving tsunami wrecks havoc, as help is slow to come.

John McCain – Winner: Say what you will about John McCain’s flip-flopping, but it will lead him to six more years in the Senate.

Bad Egg: As millions of eggs are recalled, maybe it’s time to do something about corporate scofflaw Jack DeCoster..

The Gulf is Clean!: Except for that 30-mile plume of oil underwater. But who counts that?

People

Roger Clemens indicted: Roger Clemens never took steroids. That’s his story and he’ll stay with it all the way to the slammer.

Wyclef Jean: No Presidency for you!

Blogs

The New Civil Rights Movement: Peter. LaBarbera. Homophobe.

Talking Points Memo: Sarah Palin would be appalled if a public figure used the N-word. But Dr. Laura’s cool.

Crooks & Liars: The markets have been playing as if everything is just fine with the economy. But it’s not, and they’re starting to notice.

Jesus’ General: Sept. 12 is Burn a Confederate flag day.

–WKW

I am a Conservative

This may come as a shock to many of my most loyal readers, but I am, in fact, a conservative.

Yes, my friends, I am well aware of my reputation as a liberal. But those days are now gone. Because I have had an ideological shift, and now embrace Conservatism. Here are my core beliefs:

• I believe in a woman’s right to choose.
• I believe Don’t Ask Don’t Tell and ENDA must be immediately overturned.
• I believe people with different sexual preferences than I should have all the rights I have.
• I believe in Keynesian economics and the progressive tax.
• I believe the death penalty should be abolished.
• I believe the First Amendment is about government restricting speech, not private people criticizing my ideas.
• I believe if Americans want to build something and they follow the rule of law, they should be allowed to build whatever they wish.
• I believe in amnesty for illegal immigrants currently in the U.S. and an easing of U.S. immigration laws.
• I believe Obama’s stimulus package should have been much bigger.
• I believe Barack Obama is a Blue-Dog Democrat, not a Marxist maniac.
• I believe Barack Obama is a Christian born in Hawaii.
• I believe America needs stronger unions to protect employees.
• I believe “Supply-side Economics” is a Ponzi Scheme.
• I believe in diplomacy
• I believe in a nation of 300 million, with many aging, a strong social safety net is of vital importance.
• I believe Corporations and big business need strong regulations.
• I believe in man-made Climate Change.

I believe all these things and more, and as a Conservative, I will ignore the cackle of rads who fight me. I will battle tooth and nail to be heard in the big tent of conservatism.

Whatever you may think of my beliefs is of no matter to me. I march to my own right-wing drummer. Because if Sarah Palin can say she’s a feminist, then I can proudly state that I’m a Conservative.

–WKW

William K. Wolfrum’s Morning – Nicolas Sarkozy on Line One

Sarah Palin talking with “Nicolas Sarkozy.” We must never forget.

News/Politics

V-Iraq Day: Combat troops are on their way out of Iraq. The war is over! Just ignore the 50,000 troops we left there.

Pakistan: A massive natural disaster may be just the ticket for the the Taliban.

France Says No: As previously reported, there’s no way in Hell France will give Haiti a dime. They stole that money fair and square.

A Muslim Obama: It seems 20 percent of Americans believe President Obama is a Muslim. Must be all those predator drone attacks.

Check Please: It seems like the federal government just can’t buy Alaska’s love.

Freedom of Shriek: Sarah Palin and Dr. Laura make the First Amendment mean whatever they want it to mean.

[Read more]

How’s that Austerity going, Greece?

Shockingly, turning the population upside down and shaking them to collect loose change isn’t working out as well as the EU or Greece hoped. From Der Spiegel:

This dire prognosis comes even despite Athens’ massive efforts to sort out the country’s finances. The government’s draconian austerity measures have managed to reduce the country’s budget deficit by an almost unbelievable 39.7 percent, after previous governments had squandered tax money and falsified statistics for years. The measures have reduced government spending by a total of 10 percent, 4.5 percent more than the EU and International Monetary Fund (IMF) had required.

The problem is that the austerity measures have in the meantime affected every aspect of the country’s economy. Purchasing power is dropping, consumption is taking a nosedive and the number of bankruptcies and unemployed are on the rise. The country’s gross domestic product shrank by 1.5 percent in the second quarter of this year. Tax revenue, desperately needed in order to consolidate the national finances, has dropped off. A mixture of fear, hopelessness and anger is brewing in Greek society. …

The entire country is in the grip of a depression. Everything seems to be going downhill. The spiral is continuing unabated, and there is no clear way out. The worse part, however, is the fact that hardly anyone still hopes that things will improve one day.

Unemployment is at 70 percent in some areas of Greece, says the story. Remember this when you hear U.S. politicians talk about “Austerity.” Because it means austerity for everyone but them and their corporate overlords.

–WKW

William K. Wolfrum’s Morning – Taxing Your Faith

When you have the money to paint your churches gold, you have enough money to pay income tax, says I.

Wolfrum’s Word

Freedom isn’t free. So why is freedom of religion tax-free? At my latest post at “Alan Colmes Presents Liberaland,” I take a look at whether it’s time to pull the non-profit rug from underneath Churches.

News/Politics

[Read more]

Afternoon Music Break with Mark Gormley

I always try and promote young new artists here at the Chronicles. Today, we look at singer Mark Gormley and a girl who looks REALLY uncomfortable:

Now go and behold the awesome power and glory of Mark Gormley!

–WKW

HT Michael

William K. Wolfrum’s Morning – Bat Guano Crazy

Bats. Why did they have to be bats?

News/Politics

Pakistan Floods: Capitalism not stepping up to the plate to help out Pakistanis stuck in a watery hell.

We Found the Oil!: How about that? It seems 80% of the oil spewed into the Gulf of Mexico is still there. Could this mean British Petroleum … gasp … lied to us?

Iraq Violence: 50 killed by a suicide bomber, as the “victory” in Iraq gets increasingly bloody.

Karzai Kicking: Afghan President Hamid Karzai orders all private security contractors out of the country within four months. In other news, U.S. begins drawing up “Time to Go, Hamid” assassination plans.

Unemployment Lies: Five myths about unemployment.

Interesting

Batsanity: At least 500 people have been bitten by rabid vampire bats in Peru. Rabid Peruvian Vampire Bats. There can be nothing more terriofying, in my book.

Forget Her Not: Michelle Philpot’s accident left her mind stuck in 1994. Meaning that at very least, she missed the entire Bush presidency.

Blogs

Rude Pundit: The families and loved ones of 9/11 victims don’t really have a say in what happens next in NYC.

Media Matters: The further adventures of Maureen Dowd.

Glenn Greenwald: Journalistic integrity is not applicable when dealing with OMG MUSLIMS!

Talking Points Memo: Tea Partiers oppose Net Neutrality like good little GOP soldiers.

Crooks & Liars: Pam Gellar led the anti-Mosque charge. Has the U.S. media gone completely insane?

Warning

Don’t Drunk Dial Freedomworks. Just don’t.

–WKW

Thank you for not killing anyone

A good blog is a back-and-forth experience between writer and reader. When a blog reaches its apex, commentary and conversation meld together, making reader and writer one.

Of course, sometimes, this tight of a relationship can mean a level of complacency can creep in. Things can go unsaid. Which is why today, I’d like to send out a thank you to my readers.

Thank you, dear readers, for not killing anyone.

Thank you for not going into the U.S. Holocaust Memorial Museum with guns ablaze.

Thank you for not murdering police officers with your gun because you’re afraid Barack Obama will take it away.

Thank you for not killing police officers because you don’t understand what terms like “Nazi” and “Enslavement” mean.

Thank you for not murdering doctors who have the best interests of women at heart.

Thank you for not murdering church-goers because you hate liberals and gays.

Thank you for not threatening federal judges.

Thank you for not collecting arms to attempt a violent takeover of the government.

Thank you for not planning a mass murder at a non-profit organization because I mentioned them.

And most of all, thank you for being the type of readers who don’t have to be reminded not to murder anyone. Because that allows me to be the type of writer who doesn’t have to defend himself when politically motivated killings occur.

–WKW

William K. Wolfrum’s Morning – Mosque Madness

Nothing quite showcases the hallowed ground near Ground Zero better than Thunder Lingerie.

Wolfrum’s Word

There are still 11 weeks to go until the November elections, but Silly Season is seriously underway. Over the past few weeks, some of the biggest political stories have been – Shirley Sherrod, changing the 14th Amendment and ignoring the First Amendment outright. The simple fact is that the GOP Republican Shadow Government will spam the political discourse to get the onus off their actual record. It’s what they do. But with unemployment off the charts and none of their economic plans amounting to much (why didn’t those Bush Tax Cuts protect the economy, anyway?) it would be pleasant to see U.S. voters see through the charade this time.

News/Politics

[Read more]

Caption this photo: Arnold & Sly in Las Vegas

Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone dine on the flesh of the poor while in Las Vegas.

Your turn.

–WKW

William K. Wolfrum’s Morning – Kill All Babies Edition

Don’t say you weren’t warned about blood-thirsty terror babies.

News/Politics

Terror Babies: Texas State Rep. Debbie Riddle believes there is a plot involving pregnant women from other countries traveling to America as tourists to give birth, and then raising the babies as terrorists. These are the death throes of a Republic.

The GOP’s Economy: David Stockman, President Ronald Reagan’s director of the Office of Management and Budget, says the GOP has destroyed the U.S. economy.

Protect the Border: President Obama to approve $600 million for border security. I guess that border fence didn’t really work out.

Net Neutrality: What the rest of the world is saying about Google and Verizon’s plan to change the Internet.

Red Alert

Bearded terrorist monkeys have been found in South America!

Blogs

EZ Kool: White supremacists are Glenn Beck’s favorite.

Right Wing Watch: Will the Right give up on California and focus on taking away the rights of others in other states?

Care2: Of course a Republican came up with a plan to put illegal immigrants into camps.

Raw Story: Google denies it’s selling out Net Neutrality.

How Slinky

So now, we can all stop wondering when someone will build a better Slinky.

–WKW

William K. Wolfrum’s Morning – Mad As Hell, Not Taking It Anymore Edition

Video of Steven Slater quitting his job at JetBlue. Yes, Faye Dunaway was there.

News/Politics

Google: The data will explode. And the Mayans will be correct. Also, Google goes to the dark side.

Alaska Plane Crash: Ted Stevens among the dead following plane crash in Alaska. Having lived in Alaska, I can tell you this – it’s a state with a lot of ways to kill you.

Gibbs Gabs: Having a press secretary showcase that the pressure is getting to him may not be the best face the Obama Administration wants to put forward.

Primaries: There were several primaries held last night throughout the U.S., with every outcome benefiting John McCain somehow.

Sports

Brazil Spanks U.S.: four years after he was fired, Bob Bradley has led the U.S. right back to where they were as 2-0 loss to Brazilian youngsters shows.

LeBron Tweets: Remember, if you said one bad thing about LeBron James, he’ll kick your ass. Or tweet something mean about you.

Blogs

Wallet Pop: The worst places in the world to live make you understand why LeBron left.

Radar Online: Former JetBlue Flight Attendant Steve Slater is the world’s greatest hero.

Equalitopia: Matty and Bobby will try and break the record for the world’s longest kiss. And they’re doing it for equality. To celebrate:

–WKW

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